Your thoughts please, feeling anxious

In the past , my father who is admittedly anti social and reclusive has found his neighbours rather inconsiderate .

It was constant parcel deliveries - until they had a porch installed , borrowing things -never returned and worst of all - incredible noise deafening through the thin adjoining walls from their daily rows when the mother wasn't complaining loudly about her husband outside his window or to him .

As their daughters grew older the rows escalated ...

It was awful and several neighbours wanted them to move . They even called a meeting .

They actually have no idea about it !

I could see how unhappy and intimidated he was and thought that his moving was the only solution or at the very least - having some sort of insulation installed against the noise .

And then , it stopped
:
No more audible rows , no more screaming on the pavement outside ...

Now nothing is too much trouble :

They shop for him , collect his meds , move things , fix things ...

The huge parcels are annoying .

Ask for a key so they can be delivered to their house .

I really don't think that it's a good idea to fall out with your neighbours .

It can so quickly escalate into petty rows and bad feelings .
Smooth it over .

I will accept for most neighbours but one CF sent her daughter over to ask us to take large heavy parcel to her house. We are disabled OAPs, she's young snd healthy. Drivers know not to even ask us to take in their parcels.

I would accept a parcel for a neighbour without question if it were smallish. If asked by courier to accept large or heavy parcels I would decline. I would certainly say that its not acceptable to have my address used as a delivery destination without prior discussion and approval. Both my neighbours have things delivered with frightening regularity and couriers often knock my door if they don't answer but I don't always accept those parcels and my neighbours have no expectation that I should.

I had a friend who used to ask me for stuff rather than buying it, like sauce etc and it was because they had very little money but as your neighbours are having deliveries all the time they obviously have enough I hope you have stopped feeling anxious x

Maybe two times in total my small parcel was taken in by next door neighbour. To my surprise she knocked at my door(I have barking dog no doorbell) and asked in a hostile sort of voice that I tell the messenger not to leave stuff at her place. She was new in the area and maybe had to work nights, I don't know.

I had no idea this was possible. and that there was such a procedure as tracking. May be the neighbour in the OP is as stupid as I was, and merely needs the information.

Had the same around our way, my street is in a square of 12 houses. One of the houses was always having parcels left with neighbors, I only found out recently that 2 of the houses were getting fed up with taking parcels in all the time so told the so called woman that they will no longer take them in. The woman who’s parcel it is doesn’t work but out most days so hardly in to receive parcels. She got very stroppy with these neighbors. Only once I had a parcel left with me for this same person, I took it in, I actually saw this person arrive home & to go back out again without collecting her parcel from me, so I just took it & left it outside her door, only for her husband to knock my door much later, told him it’s outside his house. I’ve also had other parcels for another neighbor and so fed up feeling like a post office!
Now the postman has started doing the same instead of leaving a card to say it needs to be picked up at the office.
Are most people really fed up with this?

I 'discovered' my immediate neighbours had asked the delivery people to leave their parcels with me when one man tried to get me to take two huge boxes (of meat I think) and I refused. He said I was their 'safe place ' ....
Errrr, nope. I don't even know their names fgs.
The only thing I have accepted since is a bouquet of flowers for the lady living there.
Some people are takers.
It is within our power to know what we are willing to give.

The toast and ketchup should have been the first clues. These people are totally self-absorbed. Nothing you do will ever be enough. Just maintain civility. Accept the parcel situation but go no further.

I take things in for my three neighbours, I don't mind in the least as long as they collect them as soon as they get home. If it's something large they do at least ask me first. It's a two way street, my neighbours often bring my bins in for me. It sounds like your neighbours are all take and no give. You have done the right thing, what a cheek.

It sounds to me that you have neighbours who, when given an inch, take a yard. Time to bring it all to a halt. They are not your responsibility in any shape or form. Being neighbourly is one thing (and a very good thing), but being taken advantage of by neighbours who are anything but neighbourly, but who are rather grasping, self centred individuals who seem to think they have a right to behave in the way they do, is not.

I was in a similar situation by being the person at home, and having been at work and very grateful for help previously , was quite prepared to do the same now. When it was the odd parcel or envelope that needed signing for that was ok. But of course now people buy much more online etc and so I would accept letters that would not go through the letterbox or had not enough stamps on etc, and for a neighbour who was a friend, if she asked me about something specific I would take it. I was always cautious and would not accept anything that had the slightest damage to the packaging as I was not going to open the parcel and they understood that, and were usually grateful. However I then began doing 3 days a week hospital car and so was not available in the same way. But given the amount of delivery stuff people have now I would have not continued to take things in. Those people are definitely imposing on your good nature and have definitely overstepped the mark. Nowadays I would say to neighbours that I am in and out a lot and so couldnt commit to being in at a specific time. This is true to a certain extent as my family live some way away and we tend to meet via last minute arrangements, and at my great age (77!) I feel I have done my share in this respect, and whilst I would still help others in any way I feel able to , this is an area that has changed so much from the odd letter that I think we all need to think twice about helping in such circumstances. I think you husband did the right thing and perhaps you could go out for some coffee or a little ride so that you are not thinking about this a lot and have something nicer to think of.

Oh dear I am one of the annoying people who often relies on neighbours to take things in. Sometimes the delivery doesn’t come when it said it would, and many other times I have been away looking after grandchildren and I get a text to say that a parcel has been delivered (a day early) “to my safe place” - aka my doorstep- and I text my neighbours to ask them check and remove. I have a vast letter box and a sign saying “do not leave parcels on doorstep” but it doesn’t deter EVRI. Often alerts do not say what the parcel is, only the carrier. We got caught out at Christmas as we left suddenly due to a child care crisis and of course all sorts of deliveries expected! But I always grovel. And I have my neighbours bins as he uses his side path for work. Swings and roundabouts

I have often taken parcels in for neighbours. However until I knocked on the door to tell them they were not aware. The couriers didn't bother to put a card through their doors. So this may have happened with some of the parcels that you have taken delivery of. A couple were very large parcels too!

Sounds to me like your neighbour was feeling embarrassed and guilty, hence his child-like reaction. You guys have acted impeccably. Be kind to yourself; it'll all go back to normal soon enough 😊

*you’re

I can’t understand why either you or your husband didn’t simply knock on their door and tell them there was a large delivery in your house waiting for them to collect.

You’re obviously worried about falling out with your neighbours - rightly so. It’s ok for some on here to call them cheeky but your the one who has to live next door. Don’t make the situation worse whatever you decide.

Can’t believe the cheek of what they are like ! I don’t think I’d be ‘. neighbourly’ with the likes of them , I rather keep my distance . Sorry if that sounds bad , as I’m normally a kind and helpful person , but , think they really take the biscuit ! ( excuse the pun ! ).

Who would have the cheek to ask for some toast when visiting, then to stipulate what type bread they prefer , they’ve got some nerve !

As for the sauce …well , as you say , a brand new bottle would have been much nicer to give than to give the old bottle back …heard it all now 😂😂. Some people beggars believe !

I would block them on Whatsapp and not answer the door to the delivery men... you have your own life.

welbeck

they are cheeky pluckers.
don't stand for it.
keep a cool distance.
don't go in their house.
any more queries re heating etc just say, sorry, i need help myself.

This

flag, not flat

Sikipoo They have a 4 year old. I made a cake and put out chocolate biscuits for the child. The father said , oh could she have some toast please….😮 My mouth dropped open and I was somewhat startled and said yes. He then went on to ask what bread I had as she only likes seeded bread ! I swear to you this is true.

This was your first red flat Sikipoo

Oh please DONT ask for a key that could open a Pandora’s box what if something went missing from their house you d be chief suspect

Thank you all. I was beginning to feel like I was going mad lol
This will make you laugh…
When they moved in about a year or so ago, we knocked and invited them in for a cup of tea etc.
They have a 4 year old. I made a cake and put out chocolate biscuits for the child.
The father said , oh could she have some toast please….😮
My mouth dropped open and I was somewhat startled and said yes. He then went on to ask what bread I had as she only likes seeded bread ! I swear to you this is true.
Then a few months later he knocked at the door and said did we have any ketchup as they had run out and the kid likes it with her dinner. I said ok and they went.
Now bear in mind that the local shop is 6 mins walk from us, plus the fact that they have 2 cars!
A month later the ketchup was returned . I binned it. But the normal thing to do was to have bought a new one?
Maybe I am getting old or going bonkers but it is all bizarre behaviour. Thanks for listening

they are cheeky pluckers.
don't stand for it.
keep a cool distance.
don't go in their house.
any more queries re heating etc just say, sorry, i need help myself.

Thanks everyone. Much appreciated x