nonsensical things people say

Take your pullover off in the house or you'll not feel the benefit when you go out.

‘It makes my teeth itch’ - often seen on MN. Whose teeth have ever itched?
Setting teeth ‘on edge’ is fairly common, but means something different from being very irritated.

ParlorGames

"I just go with the flow"! No, you don't, you are just flakey, fickle, and unambitious!

"Only dead fish go with the flow."
Had that on my office wall.

Witzend along similar MN lines - to ‘tear someone a new one’.
Bleurgh. It’s so violent.

Whereas I quite like ‘to hand someone’s a*se to them on plate’.
That’s funny.

Language is a beautiful thing isn’t it

When the recipient of a gift says "You didn't need to do that"
Instead of saying thank you!

I so agree about "Have a nice day." When my DH died, not unexpectedly, I rang the GP practice to inform his GP (who, in common with most female GPs, works part-time and wasn't in that day). The receptionist said that the doctor would be in touch, and then she said "Have a nice day."
I'm afraid I yelled at her that this was actually the worst day of my life and would she and any other colleagues please think before mindlessly coming out with this formulaic and meaningless utterance.

What a lot of fuss about nothing, why are people so snippy at what others say, if it isn't to your liking just ignore it or just say 'I don't agree'. I can't believe so many of you get so uptight.
Have a nice day or the best day you can manage.

Yes, wise words, Jenni, as you say,
‘if it isn’t to your liking, just ignore it’

Romola
A complete stranger in a pub told me to ‘cheer up love, it might never happen’, on the eve of my mom’s funeral

So many people being interviewed in reply to a question reply 'yes' followed by 'no' before continuing with response.
I find the work phrase 'by the end of play' really really irritating. Let's all have a skip round the office, maybe a game or two of card , then we can decide on a response!

Have a nice day when you’re in Tesco’s at 6 in the evening.

Some colleagues at work have taken to saying 'laters' when they leave for the day.
A few of us are totally bemused!

When a waiter answers a request for coffee etc with "No problem".

See you later,,,,,,
common at checkouts; I have no idea who you are and I certainly won't be seeing you later.

‘Cheap at half the price’!!! Well yes, of course, something would be cheap if it was half the price

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - I don't believe that suffering makes people stronger

Oh just thought of another one. When you take items to the check-out in a shop and the assistant says ‘is that everything for you today?’ Of course it is; if I wanted anything else I’d have it here with me!!! You’ve got me started now

'You never get given more than you can deal with'
Wonderful for those who believe it

...What about tragic lost souls that inflict the worst on themselves as cant take anymore?

She's a great wee girl or there no bad in him said by my husband about someone we have mentioned but has no relevance to the issue we are discussing. Always irritates me as it usually means he has not been listening and has missed the point of the conversation.

Well done for your reply Romola.

My Dad used to say "I wasn't asleep, I just had my eyes closed". (On a Sunday afternoon, after a large lunch)

Haha Lizzie. Agree totally!!! 😬
And with cold callers you're greeted with Hi how are you today when you were fine but had to come down to answer their imposing call or stop feeding baby

“Children are resilient” “everything happens for a reason” “it was meant to be”

The over-use of 'apparently.' People seem to shove it randomly into sentences.

I have a son & a daughter who both say "it is what it is" regularly- both still quote it often, separately even though they've not spoken to each other a few years now..myself & their sister think thats because they used to be so close & so alike they do actually miss the other.We dont mention to other one that they've said it though.🙄