You are a Burglar

Wheniwasyourage

Love the plan for the soup, Grannynannywanny! There are some brilliant ideas on this thread - just what we need to cheer us up, so thank you, VioletSky.

You are so welcome 🙂

Toothbrushes
Can opener
The key to the gas meter box
Lightbulbs

BeverleyJB

Bins? Aerials? They took anything, even things that were screwed down or planted!!

Witzend

*BeverleyJB*, the woman we bought our house from decades ago, was so incensed with dh for negotiating the price down, she took all the screwed in curtain rails down, plus virtually every light bulb out. Even though she knew I’d be moving in on my own with a very young baby, and I’d allowed her to stay 4 days after completion, since her next, bigger house, wasn’t ready.
My solicitor had a pink fit!

She had been in a hurry to move, and knew that dh was working in the Middle East at the time - her reaction to his reasonable enough offer was, ‘You are not in an Arab marketplace now!’ (Pls imagine a German accent.)
He said, ‘Well, take it or leave it.’
She took, and evidently seethed!

Witzend when we moved into our first house the vendors had removed all the light bulbs except for one outside, even removing the ceiling roses leaving bare wires hanging down in a couple of rooms.
They'd also removed all the flower bulbs from the garden, the neighbour saw them digging them up at 5 am one morning. They hadn't even planted them, it was another prospective buyer who asked to plant them but the sale fell through!
Curtain rails? Not a single one left. They'd have taken the kitchen sink if they could.

We paid full price too as they wouldn't negotiate!

Love the plan for the soup, Grannynannywanny! There are some brilliant ideas on this thread - just what we need to cheer us up, so thank you, VioletSky.

I thought the point of this post was to burgle someone else's house of things that weren't valuable. I realised mid-way when VS mentioned burgling our own husbands that I might have got the wrong end of the stick, but by then I had already taken all the coffee, remote controls, scissors and some other things which I've forgotten.

If it's my own house, I would put everything back where it belongs and not steal anything. Stealing the coffee is way too sadistic, anyway!

One houseslipper, teakettle top, plug for coffee maker, matching bottom sheet from a set, corkscrew.

Instead of using the ring pull on the reserve tins of Heinz tomato soup I’d open the base with a can opener and empty the tins. Then wash them out and place back in the cupboard the right way up. I’m having a bad day, is that too cruel?? 🤭

The spare hangers

So they can't hang up the clothes fresh out the wash

The clothes pegs.

The address book.

All the cutlery… and TV remote

All the calendars.

Lampshades.

VioletSky

narrowboatnan

The labels from all the canned food 🥫

Oo genius idea

It would keep things interesting I suppose but meal planning would be hard.

Nothing like opening a tin of peaches when you're trying to make bolognese and wanted tomatoes

I had a friend once whose husband worked at Heinz. He often brought unlabelled tins home. After a while she was quite good with guessing the contents. ….by the sound when she shook them .

narrowboatnan

The labels from all the canned food 🥫

Oo genius idea

Every second slat from a bed base.

The wire rack from the grill pan.

How awful Witzend! Particularly as the vendor must have known your personal circumstances.

At least we knew that it was one of the divorcing couple (each one moved out of the property at different times) trying to inconvenience the other rather than an attack on us personally, but still very petty. We still have a “spare” dustbin with no lid so we had the last laugh so to speak!

BeverleyJB, the woman we bought our house from decades ago, was so incensed with dh for negotiating the price down, she took all the screwed in curtain rails down, plus virtually every light bulb out. Even though she knew I’d be moving in on my own with a very young baby, and I’d allowed her to stay 4 days after completion, since her next, bigger house, wasn’t ready.
My solicitor had a pink fit!

She had been in a hurry to move, and knew that dh was working in the Middle East at the time - her reaction to his reasonable enough offer was, ‘You are not in an Arab marketplace now!’ (Pls imagine a German accent.)
He said, ‘Well, take it or leave it.’
She took, and evidently seethed!

Rosina

*downtoearth*!! You are a sadist! (But how inventive)
I'd cut the plugs off everything and take them away.

The first house I purchased with my DH was acquired from a divorcing couple and suffice to say it was not amicable.

On moving in day, we found that all the TV aerial cables had the ends cut off and also the lids of all the bins had been taken away!

I'd remove just one slipper from each pair……

The labels from all the canned food 🥫

hmm....two steak plates[like rocking horse sht to source]
small food processor that slices chops etc but compact!
any loose change left openly out[car park while i burgle]
and.....any new looking boots size 6?

interesting topic, the things that some of you think would only cause slight inconvenience would seriously inconvenience me.

All the spectacles in the house! Tee, hee, hee,

If I was a mean burglar I would put prawns in the curtain poles and put grass or cress seed on the carpets and water it.

Coins
Toothbrush
Toilet Roll
Mirror

It's the second time i've robbed this week ha ha...