My grandson hates me.

I am assuming that this lad is primary school age. Can imagine that he is resenting this third person living in his home and is jealous of your relaionship with his Mum, All very normal.

He doesn't 'hate you', just does not want you to be there all of the time. It really is down to you to accept this as quite normal and healthy behavior and to do something about it. ensure that he and his Mum and Dad have plenty of time without your presence, go to your own room and give them room to be a family. Explain to your D and SiL why you are doing this.

When your g.son stops seeing you as some sort of threat to his relationship with his parents he will find your presence in HIS home that much easier. As he grows into teenage yeaars he will probably start ot ignore ALL the adlts and spend mos of his time in his room. Mind you, even then it would be good for you to continue to spend some time in your own room or out with your own friends and interests and not get in the way of your D and SiL.

It's been a big change for your grandson gaylemcdo . You don't say what age he is and this is pivotal to dealing with the problem. I am more concerned about your daughter suggesting you move out. There were bound to be some teething problems with your living arrangements and you need to be able to work through them together. I hope you manage to resolve things.

You went from a person he saw once in a while to 24/7, he needs to adjust to that huge change in his life

He doesn't hate you. He didn't like staying with you in the past, you living with them isn't going to magically change that

Why did you move with your daughter and sell your place?

Are you seeing them much more often than before? That could be the problem. Your daughter’s comment would suggest that to me but your grandson is blunt whereas your daughter is tactful.

Of course your grandson doesn't hate you, but you have gone from being the grandma who lived somewhere else and he saw intermittently, even if daily, to being grandma living in the same house 24/24 - and that is very different. He is trying to get back to the old familiar relationship.

But the real issue here is that you are taking it all so personally and are so upset by it and why is your sense of self so fragile that this episode in your grandsons life is seen as such a catastrophe

If you have grandchildren, it means that you have had children and brought them up through childhood and you should by now be very aware, how children can vary in their attitudes to each other and adults, almost from day to day.

Between the ages of about 2 and 4 my grandson more or less ignored me. When we visited, he would rush out, do a body swerve round me to get to his grandfather and I might as well have gone home. Then one day I was back in favour and notjhing has changed since. Teenagers can also be real pains in the posterior.

As others have said you need to widen your life, go out and join things locally, make ne friends and get into your flat and establish your own life seperate from your daughter and grandson, so that you can react to your grandson's behaviour with tolerant amusement as just a phase he is going through.

It could just be a ‘phase’ he is going through.

But I’m concerned that your daughter has suggested you move out. Why would she say that? Surely she could help you to work out what is going on.

Yes, how old is he?

if he is young then I suppose its just possible he is jealous of the time your mum now gives you "not him": as he sees it. that may be why he goes on things with mum he would not before. Chat it over with mum.

But that a real left field guess gaylemcdo as if he is older then what others said above.

You don’t say how old your grandson is and I think that’s pivotal to this
Is he coming up to a teen ? Of course that would be the time to want to find his independence (or even younger 8/9) he will begin pulling away and not wanting to be picked up from school Perhaps a friend has said something like ‘cor your mums old’ when you ve been waiting in the playground who knows what’s been said to him he may be embarrassed
Of course an older ladies jokes won’t be funny to a young chap just as his jokes probably won’t make sense to you he’s grown out of you, it happens

I m afraid I ve never been tempted to move near any of my children I think independence is a wonderful thing and then visits are looked forward to

I would have a serious talk with your daughter and see if you can find a way forward it sounds as if you are far too emeshed in their lives…. are you independent with friends and hobbies of your own or are you just always in their space looking for their company ?

That does sound upsetting. How old is he?