Another domineering individual

I am afraid I know a person like this as well and she gives us all a headache. She is loud, opinionated and never stops talking even when others try to get a word in. If she feels we are not listening to her she sulks but carries on regardless.
She is incredibly insecure so it is hard to say anything to her even in jest.
I do not know what the answer is but I tend to avoid meetings which I know she will attend.

It seems a bit disingenuous everyone talking behind this lady's back and she would probably be mortified to know how others see her.
I wonder why she feels the need to dominate the conversation? I wonder what her background is and what else she has in her life? (or has had?) Could it be that this friendship is so important to her that she feels the need to impress everyone with her stories and anecdotes because she fears that if she doesn't join in the conversation she will be labelled as not interesting enough? Maybe next time you meet you could have a conversation about how people (in general- not being specific) dominate conversations and hope that she can either recognise herself and see the point or join in and you may find out her opinion on why "people in general" might do it ... but you may have to have another call which leaves her out to arrange it!!

I come from a family where we all compete for air space.My SIL used to find it difficult at first ,now he's the same as the rest of us.
I dont get the problem here ,if you dont want to listen to her,move away from her and others will no doubt stand and talk to you or let you talk to them.Simple .
Making a mountain out of a molehill springs to mind ,why on earth would you complain to her friend that her being a talker doesnt suit YOU ?

I have a rather quiet voice, and most of my friends are retired teachers and business women. Needless to say, my attempts at joining the conversation are often overlooked. However they mostly lead far more interesting lives than I do, and aren't bores, so I don't mind.

She may be unaware of her impact - possibly even has Aspergers syndrome. It's hard for others - and hard to remember that she may feel isolated herself, and not really know how to join in with a group. A real challenge for all of you.

I bang on a bit sometimes, not so much now that I don't drink much!! However I can drone on if not stopped, it's a feeling that a big gap in conversation needs filling! but it's hard to stop if I do realise I'm droning, other than shut up completely. I've tried being demur/feminine(yuk) / timid, but all I get is " what's up with you?/cat got yer tongue/ are you awake?!" From DH who tells me to belt up then when I do thinks I'm sulking?!? Which I never ever do! Can't win..... Am I droning again........?

You need an explicit rule at your meetings. Not everyone knows the unwritten rule of conversation that people take turns.

Dream groups have a useful system , As we know, other people's dreams can be boring unless the speaker is a good raconteur. So what they do at dream groups is there is a small article, say a wooden bowl, on the coffee table and nobody speaks until they pick it up and hold it.

True, the controlling individual may hog the bowl unless it's prised from her hand, but at least the matter of good conversation would be introduced.

Why do you always meet at the bore's friend's house? Can't you meet in a public garden? Or in the house of one of you? Or in a cafe? Can't most of yopu give the next meeting a miss, maybe you'll get asked why?

Now I realise why I don't join on any sort of group like that. There always seems to be someone who takes over. It gets so boring after a time. No one else can get a word in.

I had a friend like this for many years, it drove me mad, in the end I had to disengage she would talk over me. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways, I put up with it for years as I really liked her but in the end I was like a sponge soaking up her problems, she had quite a high opinion of herself and I tried to ignore that part as she found fault of everyone, 🤪 I must admit when I walked away it was a weight off my shoulders

I have exactly the same . This person lives in another town and talks non stop about people nobody knows. It's soooo annoying . Even if one steers is back to general conversation she interrupts and off she goes again.

If you feel strongly you could tell good friend how you feel and how others in the group are of the same mind. Do you think there is anyone who is willing to have a frank conversation with chatterbox as she sounds a very thick skinned individual.

Unfortunately the only answer might be to meet with other members separately and gradually ease her out of the group.

Could you interupt and say something like'Jane,you are quiet .How is your granddaughter doing ? ' to someone else in the group ?

I'm OK with chatterboxes if they are interesting, can't stand listening to people that talk every time about ailments and hospital appointments, at a coffee morning I used to go to it felt like it was a competition about who had the most appointments, never mind going into detail about waiting times in the clinics, latest symptoms( not that I dont sympathise on the first telling) God I thought I would lose my sanity, it seemed like a couple had a season ticket, totally put me off my scone

I think about when I talk to my sister on the phone. If you only hear my side of the conversation you would think I have a stutter, since I can't even get one whole word out!

I love her dearly, and she lives alone, so I let her go on... and on.

And I have a group of friends that includes one who dominates the conversation, but I think over time we have evolved to allow interruptions in order to be heard. If you were to eavesdrop I'm sure we sound like nattering squirrels, but we have fun and manage to have a conversation. I do have to remember to turn it off (the interrupting) when I am with others.

I've been in two different groups who had someone who wanted to do all the talking. Neither of them were especially interesting, either. It's very annoying! If it happens again, I may take the suggestions above to just try to meet with others away from them.

LRavenscroft

grNadpa

As Theexwife mentioned, every group seems to feature such a person. And the resolutions all seem to involve great personal loss.

In the book discussion groups I frequent, I adopt the old cliché "this too shall pass". And, sure enough, such offenders do tend to leave the group eventually. In one group we currently have two of them -- one of whom we can count on to berate every author's female characterizations ad nauseum.

Waiting it out, obviously, is not among LRavenscroft's realistic options.

How very sad.

I think one of the posters above used the phrase 'zone out' which is what I shall do when she starts again. To be honest one of the other ladies is starting to tackle her when she interrupts so I think we may get a result sooner than expected.

To be honest one of the other ladies is starting to tackle her when she interrupts so I think we may get a result sooner than expected.

Brave lady.

Obviously, zoning-out isn't working for her!

grNadpa

As Theexwife mentioned, every group seems to feature such a person. And the resolutions all seem to involve great personal loss.

In the book discussion groups I frequent, I adopt the old cliché "this too shall pass". And, sure enough, such offenders do tend to leave the group eventually. In one group we currently have two of them -- one of whom we can count on to berate every author's female characterizations ad nauseum.

Waiting it out, obviously, is not among LRavenscroft's realistic options.

How very sad.

I think one of the posters above used the phrase 'zone out' which is what I shall do when she starts again. To be honest one of the other ladies is starting to tackle her when she interrupts so I think we may get a result sooner than expected.

As Theexwife mentioned, every group seems to feature such a person. And the resolutions all seem to involve great personal loss.

In the book discussion groups I frequent, I adopt the old cliché "this too shall pass". And, sure enough, such offenders do tend to leave the group eventually. In one group we currently have two of them -- one of whom we can count on to berate every author's female characterizations ad nauseum.

Waiting it out, obviously, is not among LRavenscroft's realistic options.

How very sad.

LRavenscroft Who is going to mind somone saying something nice about them? . Thank you.

Now, about the Christmas tree, it is really difficult................

M0nica

I know that I can talk non-stop, if I am nervous or worked up about something. I try to stop myself when I realise I am doing it, but I do not always realise I am doing it.

I have good friend, who when I start doing this, just says, 'Shut up, Monica, you are jabbering'(my name for it). It is said kindly and with a twinkle and the first two words do not come over as badly as it sounds. I much appreciate it.

Hope you don't mind me saying but I doubt very much that you are boring as your posts are always very interesting and valid so being chatty is very different to describing at length how you took your Christmas tree down and keep returning to it at every next breath. Stay the way you are M0nica.

On another tack some of us have less to talk about as we get older.
I meet 2 friends once a week and for the last few weeks all they seem to discuss is the problems they are having with workmen and things going wrong in the house.

LRavenscroft

We meet regularly at a good friend's house for drinks and chat and most of us get on with each other apart from one lady who dominates the conversation with her own stories. She is actually not malicious, verbally rude or unhelpful. The major problem is every thread of conversation is taken over by her and she finds it very hard to sit and listen, starting her own conversation with the person next to her if she can't participate in the main conversation in a very loud voice. The unfortunate thing is that she is idolized by the good friend and they hang on her every word. We don't want to fall out with the good friend or be rude guests in her house but it is starting to frustrate the rest of us as witnessed by a flurry of private messages to each other on FB this morning I just sit and listen and go into a sort of trance making agreeing noises but won't go for walks or nights out with the friendship group as this person is such a bore. Of course there are far more important things going on in the world but I just wondered how other Gnetters would deal with this?

Ahhh, you know Sister2.

She is boring, we listen politely to honour our parents wish that we 'never fall out after they pass'. Manageable, difficult sometimes.

M0nica

I know that I can talk non-stop, if I am nervous or worked up about something. I try to stop myself when I realise I am doing it, but I do not always realise I am doing it.

I have good friend, who when I start doing this, just says, 'Shut up, Monica, you are jabbering'(my name for it). It is said kindly and with a twinkle and the first two words do not come over as badly as it sounds. I much appreciate it.

I think that babbling-on when you're stressed - or even enthused - about something is a bit different though MOnica.

The very fact that you are aware of it means you're not oblivious to other people.

I usually jabber-on when there's an awkward moment in a group and everyone goes quiet. Making things much worse.

I know that I can talk non-stop, if I am nervous or worked up about something. I try to stop myself when I realise I am doing it, but I do not always realise I am doing it.

I have good friend, who when I start doing this, just says, 'Shut up, Monica, you are jabbering'(my name for it). It is said kindly and with a twinkle and the first two words do not come over as badly as it sounds. I much appreciate it.