Another domineering individual

Theexwife

If the good friend idolises her and the meet-up is in her house then there is nothing you can do but stay away if you don't like her behaviour.

How many of you are there? Could you just meet up with some of the other people separately?

Whenever there is a group of people one will often dominate, if this forum were audible it would be noticed here too.

True!

Our group had a friend like that, slightly older than the rest of us and a self-appointed expert on all things.
One day she commented that I was quiet, and I answered (truthfully!) saying, "Well I'm struggling to get a word in."
It took her aback but nothing changed 🙄

In my experience this sort of person doesn't ever change because they are oblivious of anyone else's needs.. just have to chat to people who can actually apply listening skills or as you say zone out... she's the loser because I bet you are more interesting..

I used to visit someone who used to talk incessantly, I hardly got a word in edgeways, but she moved away so problem solved. So I know how tiring it is.

A relative of one of my DIL's used to corner me at every family gathering and talk about herself and tell long stories about her life to me. It always took away from the person in the family whose birthday it was and from enjoying grandkids opening Christmas presents etc. I was always polite but I got quite sick of it. So I'd move away and always avoid sitting near her. Lately I have not gone to an event because of her.

OP I would see these people sporadically if it means you can keep in touch and you can cope with it. Or just cut your losses and not go again. Plenty of other things to do.

LRavenscroft

I think we've all met that lady in various disguises!

Not sure there's much you can do other than avoid her or put up with her to keep the group friendship going.

If people start to drop out of the group there may come a time when a conversation can be had with your good friend but how that could be navigated would probably have to be a work of art.

It seems like the individual in question has something of a narcissistic personality and goodness only knows how you deal with that. I don't think anyone can just have a quiet word in her ear. Good friends should be able to do that though - if only for the benefit of the person concerned.

I was going to suggest finding another group of friends, but that's easier said than done, and one doesn't want to let go of existing friendships. Not to mention the fact that there might be another one in such a group who is the 'dominant' one!

Theexwife

If the good friend idolises her and the meet-up is in her house then there is nothing you can do but stay away if you don't like her behaviour.

How many of you are there? Could you just meet up with some of the other people separately?

Whenever there is a group of people one will often dominate, if this forum were audible it would be noticed here too.

Yes, I agree with you. There are five of us and the rest of us do meet separately. I suppose that as we friends get older we sort of meander through our chats whereas she strides which is out of sync with the rest of us. I think I'll carry on with my trance like state as the friend host is a really lovely lady who would be a shame to lose as a friend and indeed offend.

Exactly what Theexwife said!

If you choose to visit your friend in her home then in my view you have an obligation to be polite. You have no obligation to visit and if the domineering lady makes it boring, then don't go, life's too short etc etc….

I doubt that even if the friend who idolises her ever drops a hint, that anything will change.
Can the rest of you quietly meet somewhere else now and then?

A dd has a friend who just never stops talking. She’s a 40s professional in a senior job, and dd is 100% sure that the reason she never has a bloke for more than 5 minutes, is because of the non-stop talking. A blind date once arranged for her said afterwards ‘Never again!’ for that reason.

Dd has tried to drop gentle, and not so gentle hints, but nothing ever changes. Very likely it’s because she doesn’t listen - she is just permanently waiting for the other person to stop, so she can start again.

If the good friend idolises her and the meet-up is in her house then there is nothing you can do but stay away if you don't like her behaviour.

How many of you are there? Could you just meet up with some of the other people separately?

Whenever there is a group of people one will often dominate, if this forum were audible it would be noticed here too.

I sympathise heartily with you as I know just such a person.
She is lovely really but can only talk about herself and every minor thing is made into a drama which takes half an hour to tell.
Being a hypochondriac doesn’t help matters as she has a new ailment every week.
I had dropped out of the group when my H couldn’t be left and have been asked many times to go back but I have made it clear I shall not be going.
My friends who do go complain every time saying once again she has dominated the conversation.
The group will break up as more excuses are made for not attending regularly.
Her D is wanting her to move near to where she lives, so are her other friends!!