Moving nearer to grandchildren

Think carefully about the new area and imagine it without your family nearby (incase something happens and they move away unexpectedly) could you see yourself being happy there alone?
Could you access shops, doctors etc independently, is there good transport links and enough social activities for you?
Depends also on the life you have currently - friends can also be a great support not easily replaced.

We did exactly this in the summer of 2019. We were two hours away from our daughter and she was keen for us to move. Our cottage had a very large garden with orchard so we thought we would be able to downsize a bit and move to a different area too.

It has worked for us. We chose very carefully and compiled a list of essentials and nice to have's. We are now about 15 miles from our daughter and have our grandson regularly at the moment. We are in a beautiful village which has many amenities - pubs, hotel, fish and chip shop and village shop. The nearest city is about twenty minutes away on a bus route - perfect.

I can honestly say it has worked for us. We were in our mid 60's when we moved. My husband does volunteer and I have made a few acquaintances, but no friends really. I still see my two dearest friends from our previous area as it's not too far to do that.

We will probably move once more in maybe five years or so - to one of our nearest cities and into a smaller house - we are in a four bed at the moment. We shall see. It always pays to be open minded.

I wouldn't have missed these early years with my grandson for anything - obviously it will change when he goes to school but it's lovely to have established a great relationship with him and watch him grow.

We both have lots of interests too, which I think helps. When I'm not so committed with looking after our grandson I plan to join U3A and do some volunteering too.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hithere

This question comes up at least monthly, search around and you will see two different approaches
1. Sure! Move
2. Thread carefully as it may not work as you think

I'm very much a do what is right at the time person, and worry about it later if necessary. (Just how I am made). So in your case Queenie I would go for it with a bit of local homework.
Good luck with your decision.

Just what I was going to say Septimia. Thanks.

Despite your family having no intention of moving, at least for some time, situations do change. All the advice on here is to be cautious.

So... if you're going to downsize anyway it makes sense to move nearer to them. However you should be happy to make a life for yourself in your new location so that if circumstances change and they do have to move away, you are established and content to stay. Then just enjoy the time you are close for as long as it lasts.

My grandparent moved to be near family. Family moved away within 5 or 6 years leaving them in a new area.

My thought is to be certain you like the area you’d be moving to. Our children's lives change, grandchildren grow and move away. If your son/daughter and their partner are encouraging and you believe you’d be happy in the area even if they moved away then it’s worth serious consideration. When we relocated to be 12 miles from family we were able to stay independently in the new area for weeks at a time in all seasons for the two preceding years and knew we’d enjoy living there no matter how our family’s lives changed. Good luck with the decision, you’re right to think long and hard, there’s a lot to consider. .

I have this dilemma too. I live one and a half hours drive from my DD and GS and in my mid 70s so I know I may not be able to do that journey for ever.
As others have said think carefully before moving. You will need easy access to medical facilities as you get older.
On the positive side I wish I had had the choice to live near them when I downsized 16years ago but my DD was not married then and there was no GS. You have that opportunity at this time.

We live quite near all AC, GC, GGC, less than a mile.

I'd be very cautious, with rules and advance planning, that by moving closer you don't make extra work for yourself.

It's easy to say "I don't do daily childminding/school run" but far harder to avoid "mum, can you, for a few minutes, do this or that."

It’s natural enough to want to be close to your family as you get older, talk to them so that it isn’t a surprise, they may have ideas what you should do. As we get older our independance can change quickly and most families would want you closeby, especially as care services are so restricted.

Think very carefully about moving to be close to GC. It has already been mentioned that you really should discuss this with your AC / children. I am mystified that you have'nt mentioned them ?

I decided years ago that I would never follow my children I think (personally) it’s unfair Good job I did as they are all as far away from each other as you could be so they ll have to visit me if I get less able
You don’t say how old your grandkids are but please be aware that by 13 you won’t necessarily be flavour of the month and may not see much of them and then of course they move away to find their fortune
What does your son/ daughter say ?
Good luck in it which ever way you go

If you need to downsize it probably makes a lot of sense to look nearer to your family if it's somewhere you would be happy to start a new life. A smallish town 10-15 miles from them sounds like it could be ideal. Closer but not too close.

I moved a few years before retiring, so I am not against a big move. But do think through what you're leaving behind in terms of friendships and hobbies/entertainment eg theatre, museums etc
Good luck

Then again, what if you stay hours away and can’t make the drive anymore?
I think that if I was going to move closer to my DC and DGC I would do a bit of research to make sure that i moved somewhere where there are facilities etc for retirees and transport to get me to them when I stop driving.

In 10 years you'll be in your late 70's and they might move.

Then what?

I have the same choice, and I know my family won't move. AC suggested it. But I am very cautious and like my familiar things and feel secure where I am and close to known GP, other services.

Key is that your SC want you to come up. But how will they feel if you need a lot of support and they have to move on? How would you feel, really, late 70's?

Interesting that you refer to your grandchildren and not your daughter or son.
Is there a reason for this?

I think it depends on your expectations

Young families are very busy

Taking out a long car journey will make things easier and probably more regular but it will need to be mutually workable

You do sound like you have the right ideas about creating new social groups and interests which I'd count as a positive

I don't have this problem as when we moved our children followed us for various reasons!

Although you sound quite sociable and willing to make your own life wherever you live, I would still suggest having the conversation with your child/children just to make sure that your expectations of living nearer to them match up with theirs. Life for young adults moves so quickly these days that they may hope to stay where they are for some years but fate often has other ideas...

We downsized and moved to be nearer our eldest GC. We didn’t go too far but left the area I was born in and had lived all my life. It took a bit of getting used to but that was 11 years ago and I don’t regret a minute of it.

I would have a long hard think about what you hoped to get out of the move before you make the decision. Then have the conversation with your family and see what they say. All of the examples where it doesn't work out seem to be simple cases of mismatched expectations.

This question comes up at least monthly, search around and you will see two different approaches
1. Sure! Move
2. Thread carefully as it may not work as you think

GC means grandchildren? You don't mention their ages or their parents.
Personally, much as I might be tempted, I would not move next to my DC or DGC
my DM lived with me and I know the drawbacks though others have done this successfully so it may be perfect for you