DH doesn't want to go on holiday anymore

I would think it could be difficulties in what lovely Terry Wogan used to refer to as the knicker region. Too embarrassed to admit it or to face it. As it were..

How about hiring a motorhome for a few days. You say he's not anxious about driving. You would be taking your own stuff with you so it's sort of like a little home from home. It's easy to pitch up once you reach your campsite, takes a few minutes. There are lots of lovely places in the UK to visit, great campsites with fantastic walks nearby. It might be different enough to enthuse him.

My husband wants to go on holidays - I don't. So he can, and I won't!

Dear ChattyKathy I have a lovely time travelling solo. I have been to Morocco with Exodus, a travel firm and more informally with www.annekingston.com/ who arranges informal small groups who want to be in touch with local people in Morocco.

I go to Greece with Skyros holidays and stay 3 weeks when I go and always make a friend of two to correspond with afterwards. www.skyros.com/

I go on writing holidays, painting holidays. The latter at Higham Hall highamhall.com/ There is also a group called One Traveller www.onetraveller.co.uk/ and many more

Cruises are a wonderful way to travel. Can do as much or little as you want, see fascinating sights, unpack once, not have to cook/clear up, and somebody else does up the bed. We hike, so on a cruise we spend all the free time hiking about an area. We also enjoy finding food shops and exploring (from looking to the shelves) how others eat, what they use to cook. Pressies for the return.

My husband passed away unexpectedly 5 years ago. We loved travelling. He always said if he went first for me to continue.

We have adult youngsters abroad plus a country we visited annually for extended time so I continue to go.

There is also a company called One Traveller for people traveling alone. I went on one of their group holidays in 2019.

People who go are widowed, divorced, single and married. Married are ones whose other halve doesn't want to travel.

Here's the link for

www.onetraveller.co.uk/?gclid

I don’t think there is a real reason, he just doesn’t like the whole exercise getting to the airport at the airport waiting for the flight being crammed onto the plane waiting for the baggage and so on.

I feel exactly the same, I make all of our arrangements because hubby feels better that way although he won’t stay so, im very organised, but once I’m there I enjoy it. After being married so long it is rather nice to go away with another couple or to visit friends abroad. I i’ve taken a girlfriend on many occasions which my husband doesn’t mind at all because it means I can go round the shops round the sightseeing sites to the beach and so on doing things that he might not choose to. Meeting up with him for late lunch. Also I found that not getting a hotel is brilliant, you can get an apartment with a little kitchen sitting room a TV with English channoand Netflix and so on, make it home from home then he doesn’t feel confined the hotel bedroom.

I have lived abroad with my first husband and worked for an airline and travelled around all over europe and went out to Thailand etc. My second husband loved sailing and we bought an old yacht and spent majority of holidays on that . I loved the sailing but of course it was camping on water so you still had to shop and cook (at an angle on a two burner stove!) so it was not restful in that way. As sailing is quite slow it took up the majority of his holiday time as well. But we used to have two long weekends away and enjoyed going to farmhouse b and b's which gave us freedom to do what we wanted but got a break from chores etc. We travelled with my son when he was younger and then on our own and enjoyed wandering round gardens and going to concerts and finding new places and that gave me a little bit of luxury . Later he was not keen on travelling far and so I either travelled alone or with a friend. That way we both did as we pleased and I did not feel guilty about spending money on going away and he was happy to be at home. Another thing I did which turned out quite well was I was friends with a neighbour but we had different hobbies etc . I suggested that we share a twin room on a trip to Italy, but just so that we got a cheaper and better room. That we should be free to do our own thing and not be committed to visit anywhere together . We tried it and it worked a treat. We actually did share one meal and one coffee over the week but just used it as planned and got up and went off on whatever we wanted to do. I went to see paintings and travel locally on buses and wandering about meeting people. My friend went to quite different things, once to a zoo which would not have appealed to me at all. Something else that I do now as I am a widow. I have a friend who is also keen on music and paintings and gardens. So we look for a cottage in the off peak times with a hot tub. That is our luxury that we enjoy using after a long day out. I am happy to do the driving, go across to her house and stay one night and then we set off from there. It costs half the price ,of course, between us and we put an equal amount into a purse to buy everything from so that we are not saying who paid for that etc. Have done it a couple of times, it works well and we get to see some lovely places, share the fuel costs and the cottage costs and we choose to have a 2 bedroom cottage, so that we have our own space .Perhaps that is something you might consider. I am quite happy to travel on my own, but usually it is for a reason - so might be going to sing somewhere and it is quite a distance and prefer to go b and b and have a chance to look round wherever I am. I of course go off to see snowdrops and look at distances to see how I might be able to visit 2 or 3 places What interests do y ou enjoy that he does not? It would be a way that you could start doing something you like so would look forward to and not worry about who is there or not and you would have something to talk about when you get back. I found this a way to do my own thing without feeling guilty about the time or the cost (within reason of course) I think Saga are good but rather expensive for me and am quite happy to do my own thing Another suggestion is to look at short courses, perhaps a weekend one or a 3 or 4 day chance to try out something you have thought of but never done . So could be a painting or writing course, or learning some music such as Messiah from Scratch , which is fun. Everyone is in the same boat and you are all there to learn something you enjoy. You will make new friends and go home with something interesting to chat about with your husband or at least the possibility of following up your time away with a local course you might join.Hopefully that should ease the tension a bit and then you will be able to try and talk after some time but finding things you can enjoy will help you not to dwell on wishing he could be with you. I do understand , it can be very painful to miss him being with you ,but hope this might give you some ideas to try.Wishing you all the best

You might begin to prefer it. You go girl, life is short. Enjoy xx

I remarried after being widowed and had already taken the solo holiday route (cruises) whilst on my own. My husband was happy for me to continue with my solo travels and although initially I didn’t over the last 10 years I have holidayed and cruised both with and without him. My real holidays are my solo cruises. The others trips are more his holidays than mine. I love the freedom solo trips give me. I’ve also started doing solo City Breaks. My husband has retired and now only wants to do solo trips himself and is no longer cruising. We all need a break sometimes. It’s scary at first but there are many benefits. It is sad when this happens. I was sad when we stopped holidaying together, but I love having the house to myself when he is away. I also get control of the remote! We change as we get older so live your life while you can. You only get one chance.

Oh my goodness! I have exactly this. We are same ages as you and my husband absolutely refuses to go anywhere. The only time last year was a family wedding in Ireland. He’s happy for me to go with friends( just back from Devon) and my daughter later in the year and anyone else actually. He just won’t go. Not even for a night or weekend away. I know I can’t force him and if I did he’d sulk so no point. But it is hurtful.I though when we retired we’d be off places but no.

There are some really good trips with Shearings. They are coach holidays. One to Italy popped up on FB yesterday so I took a look on the website and they provide many in Europe as well as in the UK. They are very reasonably priced too. Worth a look.

I wonder whether he has health problems that he hasn’t mentioned or had investigated. I find that IBS and an overactive bladder have made travelling very uncomfortable. Added to that arthritis makes walking painful so I must admit I no longer look forward to holidays or even full days out. I spend the whole time wondering where the next loo is going to be!

My husband was abroad for much of his working life and has an almost pathological hatred of wasting time in airports.
He's also been to almost everywhere in the world and now has no desire to travel. I find this sad as I was always at home with the children and have hardly travelled at all. However it does leave us with more disposable income so we can go out for meals and maintain the holiday home which we are lucky enough to have.
It would be nice to go away sometimes and I suppose we might, but I'm not bothered enough about it to even consider going away on my own, though I do go for short breaks in Europe occasionally with my daughter.
The one thing neither of us would ever contemplate is a cruise!

I have this problem with my disabled sons since covid- one has OCD on top of his disability and hes totally freaked out about going anywhere now- before we 3 used to travel all over when we could- even NYC in 2017 which we loved- it was our 'thing' together-and last trip we went italy in 2019 (november) after that i had cough& chest problems then december was so very very ill- & was given antivirals (now in hindsight what seemed like covid symptoms) and then sons were ill after xmas) by feb the covid news had broke- and gp surgery nurse said shes almost sure we had it- and ever since we havent been anywhere hardly-not even to family or to eat out. i went away (uk break) last year, just me with 2 of GC and so my son can see its perfectly ok to go somewhere & survive- but its in his head now so wont dare go.We havent even been to eat out anywhere since then-or day trips- something else we used to all enjoy- The other son was put on sheilding list in lockdown so hes a bit wary- but i feel he would be more willing to go do things if we all did, as hes been back at college so realistically can see its ok to go places & be ok now.But the fact that theres different types of covid still coming out and some cases rising again doesnt help.And in meantime although i do understand why its just a shame that these 2 young men are missing out when we all used to love our trips to places, both abroad and in uk.Maybe your hubby is a bit more anxious about how the world has changed too but doesnt want to admit it?🤔

My first solo holiday after my ex and I split was over Chrsitmas with Leger, met a wonderful lady whose husband worked over Christmas so she went travelling. I've also travelled with Just You and a London MeetUp group. Can recommend highly! There's a Holiday and Travel show this weekend in London with various stands of exhibitors www.destinationsshow.com/london/exhibitors - I went in 2020 and came away with arms full of brochures, and plans of travel. 2020 thought differently! I saw one that specialised in Art tours, another of Opera. One lady I travelled with went on golf holidays. Another went on wine holidays. My dearest friend died a year ago this month, aged 62, never had a passport but had such dreams of travelling - life really is too short to have reservations.

Could he be feeling unwell, and concerned about how he would get treatment if he wasn't well abroad? Could he have a prostate issue, which is maybe not immediately noticeable around the house, but travelling is a concern in that respect for him? You should be able to speak about this - try asking.

Oh, checking through that list, I see Jules Verne is there - I went on a trip (with Shearings) that had Jules Verne travellers and rep, and their rep was terrific! They don't have single supplements either (although solo travel can be costly).

TheMaggieJane1- i too am always looking for the loo as my bladder is 'unreliable' but havent let it stop us going places.So long as i can locate nearest toilets im not going to let it spoil things.

Go away on your own. I've done it for a few years when married and when not. There are solo traveller holidays but I just go somewhere warm, sunny and not too crowded. I find it regaling and as I'm quite outgoing always find people to chat too. Try it, it might make him change his mind about joining you on the next one.

If its the airports he dislikes how about a rail holiday? Those long distance ones on tv look nice- or a coach trip maybe just a short break to trial it?

Why do you want to holiday? Is it the actual travel, is it something about a particular place, or is it being away from home? Would he view a holiday in the UK more positively than flying? Is he very sensitive about his bed/room? Food or toilet matters? We talk as if distance travel is normal - historically humans did not travel anything like as much.

Just book a solo holiday and go! Why upset hubby any more by digging any deeper? He doesn't want to go - end of. Give him a break. Life's too short for 'ifs and buts' - it is what it is so paddle your own canoe. A cruise is great for singles, I have found. My husband died so I have no choice but I have found thar holidaying alone is absolutely fine. Just do it!!

"Ask him politely if he'd mind very much".....!!! Eh I think if he is accusing his wife of bullying him and will not give valid reasons for no longer wishing to go away with her then forget the "politely asking" he would be told. I had this with my ex and nothing ever got resolved and I finally gave up pandering to his wants and being accused of trying to start arguments. Did things on my own and then had a lightbulb moment. This resulted in me petitioning for divorce after 40+ years. Not saying it was easy but omg I have never been happier, wish I had done it years ago. Not saying this is what OP needs to do but asking permission from a moody husband, nope get on and live you don't know how long you've got

I suffer with depression and anxiety and when it’s at its worst I never want to go anywhere except home..Maybe your right and he is suffering with some degree of depression 🤷‍♀️