Tired husband

It’s horrible isn’t it... 🌺

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GailNicho57 - you're not being unreasonable - tell your hubby to take a running jump into his garden or garden shed. You will end up living a silent life that he controls and the fact that your grandson will be starting school in September means that you'll see less of him anyway.

Ihad my grandson since he was born on days I didn't work always said I would be there to help my daughter.my youngest grandson is nearly 6 I am retired now and pick him up from school 4 days a week I also take him and older grandson on holiday in 6 weeks holiday time is so precious with them as my other grandchildren are 17 and 13 doing there own thing hardly see them make the most of your grandchildren while young even though tireing you and your husband can rest when you give them back other wise like others have said lock him in his shed and enjoy them I think it's good your family have you some mums I talk to at school don't have this I'm sure your family appreciate you

I was 67 when our first grandchild was born 9 years ago. I knew what was coming ie I’d be asked to help out with the childminding as most of my retired friends were doing the same. We are now on to our fourth (and I’m told last (phew!) grandchild who is now 18 months old).
I always stipulated that we could only do one day a week - although we do the occasional childminding at other times. The point I’m making is that I am now 76 and husband 79 and still doing one day so I consider at 68 your husband is a mere youngster 😂. My husband is disabled so childcare is all down to me) he does sometimes moan about the disruption but when the grandchildren have started school we haven’t seen them nearly as much and are surprised to find we miss them much more than we expected.

Gabrielle56

kevincharley

I'm with your husband on this.
If you give up seeing the grandson you are going to resent it.
If you carry on as you are your husband will resent it.
Compromise is the only answer.
It strikes me that the issue will largely resolve itself once he starts school.

Why assume that resentment is the inevitable payload for any disagreement?! What happened to give and take, swings and roundabouts, pros and cons and good old agree to differ!? Resentment is what happens when you put your foot down with a firm uand- With a stroppy adolescent 😉 I think resentment is for those who don't know or understand their partner very well..

Give and take is one day a week out of 7.

68 is no great age in terms of feeling tiredness. And it sounds as if your husband has plenty of energy for workshop and garden. If noise is an issue can your husband retire to a quiet space in the house? Perhaps he resents the time you devote to your grandson, though once a week and the odd weekend isn't an unreasonable amount of time. Don't give up what you are doing but maybe schedule in some time when you and your husband do things together - outings, walks, cinema...

kevincharley

I'm with your husband on this.
If you give up seeing the grandson you are going to resent it.
If you carry on as you are your husband will resent it.
Compromise is the only answer.
It strikes me that the issue will largely resolve itself once he starts school.

Why assume that resentment is the inevitable payload for any disagreement?! What happened to give and take, swings and roundabouts, pros and cons and good old agree to differ!? Resentment is what happens when you put your foot down with a firm uand- With a stroppy adolescent 😉 I think resentment is for those who don't know or understand their partner very well..

Suzie1953

I would love to have had the chance to look after my grandchildren- they are 9 and 7 now but haven’t been allowed to see them for 5 years- make the most of it as they grow up so quickly

Snap! I'm on year 6 and counting......

Gosh! I thought you were going to say DH was 86!!66?!?! Sorry but lots are still doing a 40 hour week and doing housework etc at his age!!
It I were you I'd have a serious grilling...... conversation with him as to what's driving his disinterest? Of he cannot come up with anything feasible then I'd tell him go live in his bloomin' shed and you will continue to be a fantastic grandma to your darling little chap!!!

I love having my grandson he starts nursery 3 days a week soonim going to be lost without him he brightens my day, you are not being unreasonable . X

Keep having your GC but maybe get hubby to have a check up - maybe start of diabetes, low iron or you never know - get a blood test done or even get him extra vitamins.

Get the man some B12 ! It’ll put more lead in his pencil !!

Is you DH suffering from ILL health op, what about looking after your grandson round his home. Can you take your grandson out for a couple of hours, I wouldn’t stop having my GC but I’d be taking them out and about weather permitting, do you think it’s a case that he’s jealous of the time you spend with him, some men can be like that, I’d just talk to him and find out if there’s something else going on. After all it’s his home too

kevincharley

I'm with your husband on this.
If you give up seeing the grandson you are going to resent it.
If you carry on as you are your husband will resent it.
Compromise is the only answer.
It strikes me that the issue will largely resolve itself once he starts school.

1 day a week and the odd week-end is a compromise!

He sounds like a very selfish man being a granny is a priviledge not a chore

I would love to have had the chance to look after my grandchildren- they are 9 and 7 now but haven’t been allowed to see them for 5 years- make the most of it as they grow up so quickly

Even when my DH was very ill, he so enjoyed having DGS here and did his best to spend time playing with him. When it all became too much, he’d take himself off into another room to watch tv/sleep. Even in his final days, he asked DD1 to bring DGS to see him.
I think the OP should just carry on as she is - grumpy husband or not.
As an aside I think DH made a better Grandad than Dad as he always worked away and loved finding things to do outside with DGS.

I'm with your husband on this.
If you give up seeing the grandson you are going to resent it.
If you carry on as you are your husband will resent it.
Compromise is the only answer.
It strikes me that the issue will largely resolve itself once he starts school.

He is probably jealous. Men like attention. Don't give up looking after your grandchild. Just ignore your husband and let him stay in the shed

He is 68, not 88! And not sufferinf from any health issues.

Next time he moans tell him he’s not the one who picks it up and leave you to it. I adore my time with my grandkids as I say I’m making memories for them when they older and I’m no longer here. My oldest granddaughter is 12 in few weeks it doesn’t seem two mins since she was a baby she no longer wants me like her 2yr sister does she would rather be with her friends. I’d say enjoy your time with your grandkids i do and I don’t care who doesn’t like it no one will take that from me. Or should you

Maybe he’s not being grouchy or jealous as some of the previous posts suggest, maybe he is just feeling his age and it does tire him out having your grandson so often. I have mine twice a week,I love it but it exhausts me. Maybe ask your husband to hang on in there until your grandson starts school in September and then you’ll have him less often .

Rosalyn69

Not everyone wants to care semi/full time for their grandchildren. You can love them without being babysitters and childminders. This is just my view. If one enjoys it then that’s great but not all grandparents want to do that. It doesn’t make them odd or uncaring.

That is not the point here though. GailNicho does enjoy it, and does it with great joy. ONE day a week. As said above, if it was every day, then it would be another matter. But ONE day a week- why should his right to be grumpy and want peace, trump hers to want to look after her grandchildren. Especially as he has somewhere quiet to escape to if he wants.

He is being grumpy and selfish, and GailNicho needs to continue to do what she enjoys and feels valued, and in her own home.

One day a week!
And he spends a lot of time in his workshop and garden even when the child isn’t there.
I suspect he’s a selfish and now grumpy old man, used to you pandering to his needs.
Did he have much of a relationship with your child(ren) when they were young?
I was widowed young but the more I see these sort of posts the happier I am to be free to live my life and see my six grandchildren whenever they or I choose!