If you do not like someone personally - can you listen to them?

crazyH

I’ve just come back from a visit with my neighbour, only because I wanted to give her some info about our other neighbour , who is in hospital, following a fall. TBH, she couldn’t care less - all she wanted to talk about was her grandchildren……A is doing this and K is doing that. I made my excuses and walked out. That has made me dislike her.

I can empathize with that, it is what Mussolini next door to me does.
She first put me down over 10 years ago when we just arrived and I was covered in Cobwebs and filth after cleaning out the house. I took a post round that was theirs and introduced myself. Her answer was "Oh I thought we were getting a Retired..... and his wife and you'll need to get rid of the "Yummy mummy car to get around here".
I was the local she the incomer.

Lyng17

For some reason I can't listen to anyone called Jeremy - Corbyn, Clarkson, Paxman or Vine.

Gave me a laugh! Funny how we associate names with personalities. Not mentioning any in particular of course .

For some reason I can't listen to anyone called Jeremy - Corbyn, Clarkson, Paxman or Vine.

For me it depends on who they are. Some I can't listen too or read about what they have to say, others I find amusing.

Like the poster upthread with a self centered and entitled neighbour I will avoid them like the plague and not give them the time of day. Thats why I have a ring doorbell.

It’s strange the way we can take violent dislikes to people onscreen we really don’t know at all. I can’t stand Nicola Sturgeon. She may talk good sense, but I can’t hear it. I also can’t standMeghan Markle or Camilla. Camilla I think probably does say good things - for instance I share her love of poetry - but I still can’t listen to her.

Interesting that they are all women!

It is difficult at times to separate the message from the person. I had an extremely difficult colleague whose ideas did not chime one iota with mine. We locked horns many times, as she did with others. However, her very fixed and rigid approach helped me to identify why my approach suited me. Her nitpicking helped the department deal with issues (usually with her) before they arose. And fundamentally she is a kind person who, on a personal level is thoughtful.

I am finding these responses really interesting and some of them ring loud bells! My wish is to be able to listen with an open mind to anyone - I don't have to like them or agree, or even welcome what they say - but see if I can understand. This chimes with the idea of 'don't shoot the messenger'! And I can learn, I hope, if I separate the ideas from the person. It can be a challenge.......

Boris Johnson. Can’t stand him and what he says isn’t worth listening to as bound to be lies.

I can’t think of anyone I know personally that I don’t like but there are a few politicians that give me the irrits and most of the tv talk show hosts seem really up themselves but I wouldn’t say I hate them.

I can't think of anyone I know personally whom I dislike. There may be things I don't like about people, but I still like them, if that makes sense.
But there are politicians I don't like and can't listen to. Those who support violence are switched off . ditto many Tories.

A lot depends on the reason I don't like a person. It's usually because of something they've said so I must have listened at some point.
I do try to analyse why I haven't taken to a person. It's quite interesting. Currently, I have a neighbour who I just can't click with. I don't know what it is about her that I'm not keen on. We have to be pleasant in passing but that's all.

A lot depends on what they are talking about and how they say it. I always like to listen to people talking about something they know a lot about or do well even if I'm not crazy about them as a person.

I'm more likely to be turned off by someone spouting about things they obviously have no experience/knowledge off
than by the fact I don't like them.

Fleurpepper

And the current Tories do?

🙄🙄🙄

Sometimes I change my mind after listening to others viewpoints so always worth listening and trying not to judge too soon.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb - Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. Loathe the two of them.

Between them, managed to ruin our lovely U.K. for ever. Thankfully not much asked for their opinion very often nowadays. But when they are - I’m shouting at the T.V. WHY??

overthehill it's politics not football... we don't pick a team and support them no matter how badly they play

And the current Tories do?

Being a Tory I really can't be bothered to listen to the opposition. That's not to say I agree with everything they say, but Labour don't do for me.

I’ve just come back from a visit with my neighbour, only because I wanted to give her some info about our other neighbour , who is in hospital, following a fall. TBH, she couldn’t care less - all she wanted to talk about was her grandchildren……A is doing this and K is doing that. I made my excuses and walked out. That has made me dislike her.

Here is a good example. Can't stand Vorderman myself- but what she says here needs to be listened to

www.facebook.com/groups/1214912015208730/permalink/6325404627492751/

There are two sides to the way people talk. What they say and how they say it. To me how someone says something can be more telling than what they say. They can be condescending, bullish and self-centred, and this would put me off, rather than a meek person saying the same thing.
The "famous" person I cannot listen to is Miriam Margolyes

I think it is difficult to be amenable if they manipulate situations and higher management don't deal with it effectively

Sharon Barber on our local news. Don't ask me why originally I took a dislike to her but now I listen and she talks a lot about medical issues she always to me sounds as if she made the medical breakthrough,its Great North this and that. I'm afraid I call her the great North G... and get told off because she is Australian.
The next-door neighbour I have tried for 10 years to like the person and every time I'm getting near, out pops the boasting and name-dropping. I now call her Mussolini after the film'Tea with Mussolini", I accidentally said it to a friend the other day and felt awful she laughed and said you can add Hitler to that from me.

Luckily there are hardly any people I dislike so I can listen to most people. The few I don't like are on TV so I can mute the sound if they start to irritate me.