Did your parents make you stand up for adults on public transport?

We noticed how polite young people in Singapore are in trains compared to our young ones here.

Yes another that was brought up to give my seat up to anyone who might need it more - and that included healthy adults when I was a child. Buses and trains go faster now so little ones should be safely tucked in a seat or on an adults lap ( or held by their parent if too big for a lap). When my disabled son got too heavy to sit on my lap I would stand and hold him on a seat if only one was available. I would not expect to give up my seat to a healthy able 10 year old! I would not mind moving to an alternate seat to keep a young family together especially if there was only one adult to care for several children. I often need a seat nowadays- ( it must show!) its usually older men - or polite overseas visitors who offer me a seat.

Whiff I loathe the massive pushchairs on public transport. It makes me want to shout fold it up!
... some of them probably don't actually fold though - in which case they should get a different one

I always have, even now I’ll give up my seat for someone who needs it more.

That made me smile Chocolatelovinggran as I saw the same thing happen on a train about six months ago!
#comeuppance

I use buses a lot, and very often it’s young people - almost always apparently perfectly able-bodied, who plonk themselves in the disabled/elderly/heavily pregnant seats, even when there are plenty of seats further back.

And then are so glued to their phones - or pretend to be - that they don’t notice some doddery old person needing that seat. So someone (often me) has to tell them.

Re people who dump their bags on the seat next to them, in the hope of keeping it free, I never have any hesitation about asking them (politely enough) to move it. I do get the odd eye-roll, but that bothers me not at all.

My son took his family to London to a show as a Christmas present. They travelled on the tube. It was busy on board and my youngest DGS 10 asked an older lady if she would like his seat and she gratefully accepted. He hadn’t been told to do this. I’m so proud of my lovely lad.

I've noticed recently that some people expect you to walk in the gutter, so they can walk side-by-side, and continue their conversation. A older couple, 2 young mums with buggies last week. Grr.
I was taught one person should walk behind if there is limited space, and taught my kids to. (And my DGD)
I hold the door for anyone behind me.

100 per cent they did. Quite rightly.

Yes, stood up on buses and trains. I rather enjoyed hanging on to the grips as we hurtled along.

We also stood up at school when an adult came into the room. At home the TV went off when visitors came and they had first dibs on chairs. We held doors open as a matter of course.

I remember my brother being very disgruntled when an aunt arrived just as the FA cup final was about to kick off. She had come for a chat while her husband watched the football. Luckily her husband took pity and let my brother in to watch with him!

It’s no wonder that some children grow up thinking they are royalty

Especially when someone buys them a silly tee shirt with the words ‘The whole world revolves around me’ which I saw on a little girl in the street.

“No it doesn’t” I thought.

Yes, of course. Or sit on Mum's lap (horrors!). These threads occur regularly on Mumsnet and there are always people at both extremes. It's no wonder that some children grow up thinking they are royalty...

Yes . So did the bus conductors . It's how it was in those days I was born in 1958. People didn't put shopping on seats or let dogs sit on them in 60's / 70's. As the bus conductors made sure rules where followed. Also more people used buses not everyone could afford a car. Because of the bus conductors they made sure any trouble makers where soon sorted out and made to leave the bus.

When my children where young in 80's buggies had to be folded and put on the storage shelf. Also there was no place for anyone to board if in a wheelchair.

Buses are still a vital service and I for one couldn't get about without them. As with all modern life something's are for the better some are worse . But on the whole I have found bus drivers to be very helpful and friendly. Unfortunately they have to put up with verbal abuse from some passengers and other road users. But it's the same for anyone who has a job who have to deal with people.

Manners don't cost anything and it's all ages who have forgotten to say please and thank you and to treat people with respect. I always treat people the way I want to be treated.

Very definitely, you just understood as a child this was what was expected and you did it. I remember on a bus going home from high school one afternoon in the 70’s, the cool crowd down the back of the bus were hugely embarrassed when the driver got out of his seat marched down the aisle and told them to give up their seats for standing adults. They complied, albeit with surly faces, would a bus driver do that today I wonder?

We just did it without even thinking about it. First names , however, are just normal here and no one much uses Mr or Mrs. When I was young in the UK I would refer to adults as Aunties and Uncles if they were family friends, whether or not they were relatives.

I was taught that you did not call someone by their first name unless invited. Right into the 1970s I referred to people in work as Mr or Mrs until I got to know them well. This was especially true of older people. It was for them to make the social approach of using first names.

Always did and still do. I have to remind myself that I’m old enough to keep my seat!
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if someone needs a seat. My DH was recovering from a fractured spine when we traveled once. The bus was full. I asked a young man if he would give up his seat and explained why. He happily did so. My DH was only in his 50’s and had never needed this courtesy before.

You’ve jogged my memory, Doodledog, and I do now remember the signs on buses saying that we had to stand for adults as a condition of our getting half fares.

I do hope this doesn’t go to the logical conclusion of us having to stand up for children because we pay nothing at all.

Charleygirl5

I always gave up my seat when I was a child.
I try to find a disabled seat when I am travelling by bus or tube but I would never ask for a seat. Many offer their seat and I also accept them graciously. A few days ago I stood in front of two people in their 30s, I stood, gripping my stick and hanging on.

When I got off 10 minutes later, I thanked them both profusely for offering their seats. The man leapt out of his seat but I said he was a tad too late.

Good for you Charley

I taught my girls to hold doors open for adults/elderly. Unfortunately there were some who took advantage of this polite gesture and would one after the other waltz through the doors leaving one of my girls holding the door until I told her to let it go. Such bad manners were rewarded with either DD clearly saying, you are welcome! Most responses were, oh, thank you, some didn’t bother acknowledging them!

half fare Autocorrect 😡

It was a condition of paying half fair (or free if you were under 5). I remember a sign on the inside of buses saying that children under X age could travel at half price but must give up their seat if an adult was standing. Fair enough, really.

We also had to give up our seats in the house and sit in the floor if there were more people than chairs - most children did, AFAIK. Also, yes to calling people Mr and Mrs, or Aunt and Uncle if they were close friends of parents. The very thought of calling an adult by a first name would have been strange - in fact as an adult my friend's mum would keep telling me to call her Ermintrude* but I just couldn't. She was Mrs Friendname until she died.

My children's generation called all adults by first names apart from teachers. Mine called the couple next door Mr and Mrs, as they were a generation older than us, and had never invited them to use first names. They still refer to them as Mr and Mrs now, although both of them have died. I think they were the only ones though. My younger self would have been quite shocked, but it presumably changed in stages between my childhood and theirs.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent

We just stood if there was an adult needing a seat. My children were taught the same rule. It was just good manners. The bus that goes near our house is usually full of students, and if I manage to get on it, at least one will offer me a seat.

I was always made to give up my seat on a bus or train if necessary when I was a child. I was also told to remove myself from a chair in the house if we had visitors and it was necessary. I was then expected to sit on the floor.

Naturally. What else?

I always gave up my seat when I was a child.
I try to find a disabled seat when I am travelling by bus or tube but I would never ask for a seat. Many offer their seat and I also accept them graciously. A few days ago I stood in front of two people in their 30s, I stood, gripping my stick and hanging on.

When I got off 10 minutes later, I thanked them both profusely for offering their seats. The man leapt out of his seat but I said he was a tad too late.