Feeling alone

A word about U3A, I know that many go and advocate U3A as being perfect for alone people but tbh it is not. There are many cliques and couples who chat politely on the surface but that is as far as it goes. Just saying, so that alone people are not disappointed. Eg sit by yourself and see how many will come and sit by you and include you.

I find it far far better to join an interest in-depth group out of u3a. My fantastic specialist craft group folded an accessible venue during lockdown, it is now too far to travel. I am back to searching, making the effort. I want more than knit and natter, which I do attend locally. Neither do I want a course as I am already skilled in several interests. I am back to looking at guild level

LRavenscroft: Good post. I endorse.

I go to all local 'coffee' mornings in various venues so manage to have a natter with people...Went to one in the museum the other day, only six people but there was things to do an tea and cake.... fortunately I am fit and active to get out but unfortunatly home alone and lack company and people to phone

I wonder does Fael have problem, to not understand what was said was particularly cruel.

Grammy
Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Feeling alone and lonely is not a matter for the doctor. You have just gaslit her. Which is a wicked thing to do.

Well-said Gramy

Sending you hugs Beckett and keep posting; you have good friends here 💐

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and advice. I have received news of two deaths and a serious illness in my family, unfortunately they live in another country and I am unable to travel to be with them. I have spoken about this with a very kind neighbour but what I miss is the physical contact and comfort I used to get from a hug with my DH

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

What an awful thing to say FAEL , what’s the doctor got to do with someone feeling lonely,? How can a doctor possibly help ? Just hope that you never need any help from Gransnetters when things go wrong in your personal life .

Hope that you’re feeling less lonely being in touch with Gransnetters, Beckett ,this is a good place to share your feelings . , I think most of us can feel lonely at times ,can even feel lonely in a crowd as they say , I know as I’ve experienced it myself . 💐

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

I would have thought this was exactly the place to come for a bit of peer support, inviting practical suggestions on seeking help to navigate difficult times.

I’m sorry you are feeling very low Beckett and hope things start to improve soon. Don’t be frightened to ask for professional help if you feel it could help 💐

Sending love and hugs to you Beckett. I hope all the lovely messages you’ve had have assured you that Gransnet is here for you. 💐🤗

Hugs from me too. Please please try to find the motivation to get out and do things and be among people. You really will feel the benefit.
I speak from recent experience of separation. It was my choice to leave an unhappy marriage. I now live alone.
I had my first dose of covid about a month ago and really went downhill emotionally. That was after feeling I was making some headway post separation.
I was unable to get to the voluntary work i do in a community garden, and 2 craft groups i go to. In a short time i really felt I had gone downhill. Thankfully I'm now able to get to them all and the exercise, fresh air, company and laughs are getting me back 'up.'
I wouldn't mind either if you fancy a chat though I too am in Bonnie Scotland so maybe not in person.

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Why does the OP need professional help? Who says the OP can't share her feelings on here? What can the GP do for loneliness? Offer companionship? A listening ear in ten minutes? Some pills? As my late mother said 'Here go I but for the grace of God'. OP share and share away. There are some very nice people on this Gransnet who will support and offer a metaphoric cuppa and a hug. If you can't share here, then where can you share?!

I think we all have those lonely moments Beckett. Even when surrounded by people . You have definitely come to the right place for some understanding , lovely people with who to share those feelings .
Hope you find comfort from all the love & hugs coming your way xxx

How unkind of you *Fael. Gransnet is here for the very purpose of uniting people , whatever the reason 🤫

Sorry your feeling sad. I think its very brave of you to share how your feeling with everyone, I'm sure you'll take solace in the fact that lots of us grans are here to listen and offer supportive words and hugs. Silver Line sounds like a good place to start if you feel you can reach out and speak to someone. Sending a big hug. Xxx

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I just wondered if this would be any help. www.oddfellows.co.uk. it's a nationwide company, their byline is 'Making friends, helping people '.
It might not be your kind of thing but you never know, it may be worth a look. I haven't used them myself but I have heard they're very good.
Take care.

Hello Beckett, I very rarely post anything on GN but your post really touched me. I am so sorry you are feeling alone and sad.
However, it made me realise how lucky I am to have a husband, family and friends who I know would give me support if I needed help.
So in a roundabout way you have helped me through your post....thank you.
But your post is not about me it is about you
There are so many lovely members on this site who will gladly offer you comfort and 'listen'...myself included.
I got a lot of support and advice on one of the health forums and I will always be gratetful for that.
Sending you lots of caring thoughts and I hope things improve for you...x

Just glancing through different posts, saw Faels unkind comment., I and so many widows feel incredibly lonely at times, no support or anyone to chat things over with, if you didn’t get down ever you would be an old fish. Beckett is perfectly entitled to post on her and we welcome her, what good is a five minute chat with a doctor over the phone. Please think you are talking to a person who feels low better say nothing than hurt someone.
Beckett I hope you’re feeling bit better now, please message me for a chat if you want to.

I put a message on here ,probably about two years ago and I had some wonderful replies and great ideas about not feeling lonely.I think it’s very difficult when we are on our own.I would love to chat/grumble/ laugh with my DH. I miss him so much.I
am doing charity work,go into school to listen to readers and I go to the gym. I have met some lovely new friends.A big hug coming from me .x

Fael. I have been able to see my actual GP face to face only once in the last six years. In fact not any doctor in the practice. There are telephone conversations and home visits from a paramedic.

Hi Beckett
Sorry to hear you're feeling sad and lonely after hearing your bad news.
It must have been a shock to you and naturally you want to share it with someone close.
However, as the days pass you will learn to come to terms with the situation and will develop your own coping mechanisms.
There are many organisations that are ready yo help us in time of need. I'm sure you can find one that is relevant to your specific situation.
I hope you find comfort in the weeks ahead from a friend or neighbour perhaps.
Am sending you flowers and hugs.
Stay strong and look after yourself.

I agree with the suggestion that you need to look after your own interests - you need self compassion and you don't seem to have fallen into self compassion's shadow, which is self pity, which does not help. As well as looking after yourself and your health with loving kindness , it does seem that doing kind things for others can help both them and yourself. I send you another hug to join all those already sent to you!

Such good advice from everyone , but one. We all send you our love and best wishes. None of us know what is around the corner for any of us, to get support on GN is a great start.

I have been through this. I find the best way through it is to look after your own interests whatever those are, and look after your dog.

Over eating is not looking after your own interests. You need good food and plenty of it.

Sleep and rest and also physical exercise is looking after your own interests.

These are the basics. Your bad news may be bereavement, relationship loss, or financial loss. Whatever your loss is , you need to look after your interests, and the very act of knowing you are doing so will improve your mood and make you feel better.

Beckett, I'm really sorry you're feeing so lonely right now, and I think you've definitely done the right thing by letting other gransnetters know you're in need of advice. Depending on where you live your GP may be the person to visit or not, as the offer of 10 sessions of counselling on the NHS can be accessed directly in some councils/boroughs. So check how it operates where you are. You may be able to self-refer to the Talking Therapy Service and by-pass your GP. But however you do this, seeking out counselling sessions is a good place to start. You've been living life by yourself for a good number of years now so it's clear that you're a resilient person and it may just be that the need for counselling is temporary. One thing you're unlikely to get from a professional counsellor however is a real hug - as a psychotherapist I know that - so if you genuinely want that closeness then I guess it's a question of reaching out to your friends and perhaps looking at your lifestyle to see if you can make new friends who might be supportive in the years to come. Good luck.

...and hey...you aren't the only one....loneliness is an absolute plague nowadays. I last had a proper hug six years ago now. Go out and about and chat to people and make some connections locally....you got this...