Feeling alone

I'm so sorry to hear this is such a lonely time for you Beckett. If you don't have any friends you can call have you considered googling to see if there are any helplines that you can call just to talk to someone.. maybe the Samaritans or age UK. Perhaps you could talk to a local vicar or if you can afford it find a counsellor.. Also GP's can prescribe 10 counselling sessions. I know it's very hard to reach out if you are feeling so alone but most people are kind, and you've already taken the first step by asking for help on this site.. I do think that talking will help.. I wish you well

Hello, Beckett. I am widowed too, and have got used to being alone, though sometimes I do feel very lonely and vulnerable. I'm not sure what your bad news is, but if it's something medical, I suggest you join an online forum for those with a similar condition. I think sharing problems online (like here!) is great for people who live on their own. Also, if you have any family or close friends, maybe just send them a text saying something like "feeling a bit low right now, fancy a chat?"

I have been widowed for 24 years and I do understand that when bad news comes along it is worse without the person who would have comforted you.
When I was diagnosed with cancer I felt my aloneness keenly even though I am a very independent person.
I found it did help to talk to someone about it. In my case it was a lovely nurse. I don't know what your bad news is but try to find someone who you can give you some comfort.
💐

Sorry you are sad and alone and needing comfort from someone. Seek the company of friends or a neighbour who you trust. Don't be on your own in tears please share your worries 🌷🌷

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. It is a very difficult situation to find yourself in. I felt really down today and went for a walk in the grey, dull afternoon and thought of all the people who were dear to me who had passed away in the last ten years and I felt terribly alone. I went last year for counselling and they told me to do lots of activities and get out and meet people. I did for a year but with little improvement. Now I feel I want to seek more solace in knitting, crochet and my garden. I look forward to the spring because of the new flowers and the sunshine and what did occur to me was how the sun lifts ones spirits. Are there walks, places, creative hobbies that may help you and at the same time you could meet like minded people? Not sure if you are a churchy lady but I went to a craft group at my parish church and met the most delightful ladies and, over tea, cake and crochet we share our lives. I hope you find solace and meet some like minded people this coming spring.

I am so sorry you are going through this sad time. I often wonder how I would get on in the same situation as you as I am not really even self sufficient. I do know that there are some good people out there though and the only way to find them is to get out, even for a walk initially, and be open to smiling and chatting to neighbours etc. It is often the least expected person that helps in times of trouble. Maybe also have a think about your particular bad news, is there any organisation that might be able to help, perhaps you could Google the problem to see if there is a charity etc. I hope talking on here too helps you at least feel less alone and don't forget there is always someone available at Samaritans to listen if you call them. Wishing you all the best for the future.

Hope you are feeling better soon. Is there a university of the third age or something in your area

Beckett here is a big hug for you ( 😀 ). Can you ring someone you know who is likely to be a good listener? Anyone in your family perhaps ?

Hi Beckett
www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/

Some good suggestions here. Many people are feeling the same and I've certainly struggled to manage my loneliness. I joined Meetup to make friends locally, and a choir which is great fun but I call my friend when I'm down as she's a good listener( very few are!). Talking is the key.
Best wishes

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

[Fael] why shouldn't the OP share on here? Not all of us are physically able to just go out for a walk/activity etc to improve our mental health...
[Beckett] i hope you're having a better day and Yes I get lonely too and hard to share feelings with even good friends sometimes so please feel free to share here

Walking is my passion. Even saying good morning to someone just that small gesture makes me feel better. Speak with your GP. Look around for various groups and stay motivated to go to these. Easier said than done but they are worth the effort. Big cuddle from up in Bonny Scotland today.

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Many people in Becketts situation receive a lot of kindness and sympathy from other posters. Unless she has a Dr like my last one there won’t be much hugging and sympathy, just a telephone number.

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. There is lots of good advice in this thread, so here I am adding a link to a well researched article on things which help when we feel lonely. I do hope it helps you - I think there are some good ideas here.
I wish I had read this when I was at my most lonely - I send you a virtual hug.

www.google.com/url?client=internal-element-cse&cx=003750150904750553172:ujfvif4jt1o&q=https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/11_things_to_do_when_you_feel_lonely&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwjXmYfyxKv9AhWQcvEDHe-YDgQQFnoECAkQAg&usg=AOvVaw319_5KUv0ueFBs0VXgqoEg

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

How unwelcoming.. the OP is lonely not ill

I felt alone since I am the last member of my family left. My sister passed away last March. I am so fortunate to have one of my daughter's living not too far away. I also have a small West Highland terrier. I find her s great comfort. She listens, doesn't mind if I moan and grumble and needs a walk at least twice a day. Fresh air and the countryside do help to calm your spirit when you feel low, people are not the only answer to loneliness.

Here's a virtual HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!
And your message reminded me of reading about Silverline, founded by Esther Ranzten

I googled and discovered
^Call free on 0800 4 70 80 90

The Silver Line Helpline is a free, confidential telephone service just for older people.
We provide friendship, conversation and support^

And the website is www.thesilverline.org.uk/

Hope it might help. x

I felt like you when my father died. My mum died young my brother committed suicide and although I had a family, nobody understood how it felt to be me. I felt terrible until I got a card from my office which had "Happy Birthday" crossed out and "Sorry" written over the top and inside was the explanation - I just got sent out to get a card for you!! I suddenly saw the funny side and started giggling. They knew me well enough to know that I would find it funny. after all the sympathy cards, that was the one that got me out of the doldrums! It will happen for you too.

You will get through this. If you are strong enough to be self sufficient, you are strong enough to recognise that there is also a place in your life for a good friend or two because there are times when you just need another human being to empathise with you and give you a hug, and you are also strong enough to make that happen. Join something (or everything then drop stuff you don't like so much) and instead of being self sufficient, help others - it helps you in the long run. The u3a has lots of interest groups you could join - walking, books, Spanish, Scrabble, Canasta, Photography - have a look at the website and just get in touch. Or you could volunteer to help in a school or charity shop.

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Feeling alone and lonely is not a matter for the doctor. You have just gaslit her. Which is a wicked thing to do.

I've been widowed 5 years. I have a full active, fulfilling life with family, friends and fellowship.

However, I do get lonely: lonely for my husband. For his physical presence and touch especially in harder times.

I don't think it will ever leave as I love and miss him, greatly.

It's understandable you feel as you do. There been some good advice so I don't have anymore to add I can think of, right now

As for the poster who thinks you shouldn't have shared it, ignore them: if a post isn't appropriate Gransnet will take it down. This doesn't come under that section.

Forums are also here for support, help and advice
.

Beckett

I have been widowed for around 15 years and am used to being alone and have become very self sufficient.

However, I have recently had some bad news and suddenly find myself feeling very lonely and wishing I had someone special to just give me a hug and tell me everything will be OK. I am spending my time watching TV, comfort eating junk food and bursting into tears.

Anyone else been through this and any advice on how to deal with it?

If you are anywhere near the West Sussex/ Hampshire border just message me to arrange a meeting. I would be happy to meet and give you a hug and tell you everything will be ok. Mine is a version involving trusting in God. Here's a virtual hug in the meantime.

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

I a a widow too not as long as you and i am more than happy for others to share their pain and i would never meet it with such dismissive harsh words. I am not sure what you badnews is but I am always on the end of a message should you wish to sahe to a stanger a little kindness and understanding go a long way. Sending you a hug . Ignore harsh words and post where ever you want.

Could you possibly share which area you live in, Becket? One of your Gransnet friends might live near....

So sorry you feel so sad,consider yourself hugged,maybe look on YouTube for something light to watch that might interest you,one thing leads to another & it might give you a little break from your sadness,so hope you feel better soon,make sure you eat well & have protein etc.,good luck,keep in touch lots of very kind people on Gransnet.