Mum's fallen. Just need some words of comfort.

I’m sorry, Jellybaby.

So sorry

Jellybaby71011 Sincere condolences to you and the rest of your family

I’m so sorry…

Jellybaby71011

Sad update.
Sadly Mum died earlier this evening. She had been deteriorating daily for weeks. And had been refusing food for at least a month. The delirium never left her. All active treatment was withdrawn at the end of last week. And she was just having regular morphine.
My wonderfully supportive husband and I were with her as she just peacefully stopped breathing.
95 years of being a lovely mum, Nan and great Nan.

Oh bless your heart. Condolences to you. It seems she died peacefully. And you were with her
Even when expected, death comes as a shock.

Condolences Jellybaby 💐

Sad update.
Sadly Mum died earlier this evening. She had been deteriorating daily for weeks. And had been refusing food for at least a month. The delirium never left her. All active treatment was withdrawn at the end of last week. And she was just having regular morphine.
My wonderfully supportive husband and I were with her as she just peacefully stopped breathing.
95 years of being a lovely mum, Nan and great Nan.

Glorianny

Callistemon21

Glorianny I've just had a message and it seems there is now an action plan in place for him which is starting today. 👍

That's great. Hope all goes well. I think it is a great problem wanting to get your loved one out of hospital but knowing you couldn't cope with all the work. You feel inadequate. All the best to your friend and her DH.

Thanks Glorianny
He might do as he's told by the medical professionals!

My mum is in her late 80’s and is often in and out of hospital, I would be very angry & upset to find her sitting in just pants and a cardigan, that’s not acceptable at all. They should have a Privacy & Dignity policy which would usually state staff should endeavour to ensure patients are properly clothed or covered at all times. I know it can be difficult as some patients remove clothing and throw covers off etc but it sounds like this lady hadn’t been helped to dress properly at all and has just been left sitting in her underwear.

Callistemon21

Glorianny I've just had a message and it seems there is now an action plan in place for him which is starting today. 👍

That's great. Hope all goes well. I think it is a great problem wanting to get your loved one out of hospital but knowing you couldn't cope with all the work. You feel inadequate. All the best to your friend and her DH.

Again lots of kind responses and good ideas. Thank you.
Fortunately she already has a social worker as we’d asked for and been allocated a respite place which was due to start on the Monday morning 12 hours after she fell!
She’s a lovely lady and extremely sympathetic. She’s going to see my mother next week. And has already been in touch with us. So that’s one less worry.
I find any sort of confrontation or complaining very difficult.
I did have a meeting with the nurse in charge and she was very apologetic.
We can see just how busy the staff are. And how hard working.

I don't do hands on care but if I saw a patient like that lady I'd have popped a rug over her.

Aveline, I did not know hospital volunteers could do hands-on care in a ward, and am very glad to read your message.
Not only that, but also I am so glad there are sympathetic and efficient carers like you.

We've cared for three elderly parents, at the same time as bringing up young children and working and now have siblings and their spouses who are in care or may need care.

We do know the difficulties involved, the hurdles to overcome.

jelly, you need to ask for an occupational health assessment as she cannot come home under current circumstances. The health service can fund 6 weeks in a respite/rehab home at the very least where she can recuperate and further meetings can be had to consider appropriate care.

I'm so sorry, this is a very stressful time for you all fancy leaving her in inappropriate clothing too

I am very well aware that care of and for the elderly is a very serious subject indeed. I've not only been involved in the care if my own mother and MiL but I also volunteer twice a week at a ward in a hospital unit for elderly people. As a volunteer I sometimes have to advocate for some of the patients I meet there. Sadly, there are surprisingly many who do not have family members looking out for them. Finding a female patient dressed only in a cardigan and pants would have had me going straight to the charge nurse to complain (after I'd put a cover over her knees).

Glorianny I've just had a message and it seems there is now an action plan in place for him which is starting today. 👍

Caleo

The crisis in elderly care is not a proper occasion for levity.

Sorry.
It isn't and we know that but sometimes a little levity is needed.

Aveline

We could have separate areas for the political grans, the pedantic grans, the bookish, the crafty and the joky grans. Could be fun.

Well, I was just thinking it could be Zimmer frames at dawn!

Count me out, I am not an early bird 😁

The crisis in elderly care is not a proper occasion for levity.

There is national crisis in aged care. These anecdotes are evidence of it, if any more evidence is needed.

Aged parents often have sons or daughters who are themselves no longer young and can't call upon wider families to help with aged care.

Obviously the state care is inadequate therefore not-for -profit cooperatives would at least help to fill the gap.

In the meantime it would be a practical help if local authorities or colleges would offer short courses in elderly first aid.

At the very least all local authorities, or the central government, should send to every household containing people over a certain age an illustrated pamphlet outlining first aid care in the most common emergencies such as elderly falls.

We could have separate areas for the political grans, the pedantic grans, the bookish, the crafty and the joky grans. Could be fun.

My Dad would be 123, Caleo!

A care home for Gransnetters would be interesting 😁

Indeed Callistemon. I too aged 91 am an aged parent.