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Mum's fallen. Just need some words of comfort.

(191 Posts)
Jellybaby71011 Sun 26-Feb-23 23:40:27

First time posting. My 95 year old mum lives with us. I am her carer. She fell at 10.30. Hurt her hip and knee and shoulder. Ambulance will be 4 to 8 hours at least. She’s on a hard wooden floor. We can’t move her. She’s in so much pain. And she’s so lovely.
Never complains and I can’t bear to see her laying there. And there’s nothing I can do.
She’s blind. Deaf. Very limited mobility. But so stoical and cheerful. And I’m so sad and frightened.
Thanks for reading.

Hithere Sun 26-Feb-23 23:49:50

We are here to support you

ixion Sun 26-Feb-23 23:52:38

Warmth and reassurance will mean a lot to her.
I'm so dreadfully sorry to read this.
Offering you a metaphorical hand to hold - please come back to us with an update💐
Thinking of you.

Grammaretto Sun 26-Feb-23 23:52:53

I am so sorry Jellybaby. You must be so sad and frustrated. Hopefully the paramedics will be kind and understanding. I hope she hasn't broken her bones.

Jellybaby71011 Sun 26-Feb-23 23:57:01

Thank you. She was going to respite tomorrow morning. I was feeling guilty about leaving her there. But now I wish more than anything she was going!

MarinaL Sun 26-Feb-23 23:59:25

So sorry to hear about your mum. Suggest you keep ringing 999. That's an awful long waiting time for anyone but a lady of 95 deserves better. Can they recommend some pain relief?
I will be thinking of you and hope for a good outcome.

Sweetpeasue Sun 26-Feb-23 23:59:27

Just wanted you to know that I care. I do hope your mum gets ambulance soon. I am thinking of you tonight and sending you love.

Rosie51 Mon 27-Feb-23 00:10:24

Jellybaby71011 I couldn't just read and run, it must be so hard for you to see your mum's distress despite her stoical attitude. I do hope the ambulance arrives sooner than forecast. I'm sure you'll find the paramedics kind and attentive but that's little comfort while you wait. Sending positive vibes for a quicker response.

grannyactivist Mon 27-Feb-23 00:11:59

jellybaby that long wait is so awful isn’t it?

A few months ago I had a similar situation, I was caring for someone in his home and he fell off the bed several times. He wanted to die at home and the only way that could happen was if I looked after him, with assistance from the (wonderful) Hospice at Home team. He was 6’ 4” and so I could only wait for the team or an ambulance to help get him back to bed. The wait each time seemed like forever with me trying to keep him warm and deal with his delirium.

I’m sure you’re doing everything possible for your mum and I really hope that help arrives very soon.

Redhead56 Mon 27-Feb-23 00:24:31

My mum was in respite care for months it’s a difficult time for your mum and you my heart goes out to you. Keep posting you will always get support here 💐

V3ra Mon 27-Feb-23 00:24:59

Oh dear it sounds like you're in for a long night. Your poor dear mum.
Hopefully you can keep yourselves warm and try to get some rest.

Have you got plenty of lights on in the front windows of the house so the paramedics will be able to find you easily?

Maggiemaybe Mon 27-Feb-23 00:28:50

I am so sorry, Jellybaby. Your dear mum sounds lovely, and you both deserve better. Your presence will be such a comfort to her. Please have another handhold. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that the medics turn up soon. thanks

Rosie51 Mon 27-Feb-23 00:29:29

Have you got plenty of lights on in the front windows of the house so the paramedics will be able to find you easily?

V3ra that's a really good tip, I hope Jellybaby71011 has seen it.

Jellybaby71011 Mon 27-Feb-23 00:42:13

The outside lights are on. I just wish she could have some pain relief at least.
We can’t move her a millimetre. She’s in agony. I know this happens all the time all over the country buts the wait is so long.

welbeck Mon 27-Feb-23 00:46:09

did they tell you not to give her anything ?
i was thinking a spoon or two of calpol might be better than nothing.
i'd avoid anything stronger though.

nanaK54 Mon 27-Feb-23 00:54:40

Sending kindest thoughts to you and your poor mum flowers

Jellybaby71011 Mon 27-Feb-23 00:59:39

I’ve phoned 111 in the probably vain hope that just maybe a GP could come out and give her a painkilling injection while we wait for an ambulance.
I’m waiting for a callback.
Thank you for all your replies. I feel less alone.

Jellybaby71011 Mon 27-Feb-23 01:02:31

She was laying on the floor in agony and her first words were
“ oh no I’ve ruined your weeks holiday now haven’t I? I’m so sorry! She’s so lovely.

ElaineI Mon 27-Feb-23 01:17:53

So sorry Jellybaby. Just had similar with my Mum (87 - also blind). She was unwell, could hardly walk and confused. Paramedics came quickly though but said she would have to wait in ambulance for 1 ½ hours before getting into AE. They were happy to leave her at home if I stayed and asked GP to come in morning. Upshot was GP came and organised ambulance as oxygen levels were low. She was admitted to AE - was there for several hours - horrendously busy. Took it in turns with DS and his partner to sit with her. Trolleys with patients everywhere! Eventually was admitted to a ward then I got a call to say she had fallen out of bed and fractured her hip! She's had an op and eventually sent for rehab but it's not going well and she just wants to die - had her time etc. Very difficult. I do hope your poor Mum is seen soon. It's awful to see and hear your parent in agony.

Jellybaby71011 Mon 27-Feb-23 01:19:17

A St Johns ambulance man has just arrived. And he’s getting her pain relief. All our family and friends are asleep so you wonderful lot are my substitute family tonight. Thank you.
And in future I’ll be much more proactive in responding on here. It’s reassuring isn’t it?

welbeck Mon 27-Feb-23 01:22:52

that's good, Jelly.
and there's always someone reading and ready to respond on here, 24/7, as it's read all over the world. as well as us late-nighters.
all the best to you and mother.

CocoPops Mon 27-Feb-23 01:49:22

I am in Canada and wide awake because my Province is 8 hours behind UK time. Has the pain relief for your Mum worked?

Jellybaby71011 Mon 27-Feb-23 02:17:29

It’s gas and air she’s having while he moved her. He’s getting her on something called a camel now to get her off the floor.
He’ll give her liquid paracetamol when she’s a bit more upright. It’s very reassuring having him here.
She’s groaning so very much. It’s horrible.

Cs783 Mon 27-Feb-23 02:30:09

Pain is awful but as you say the support you have now is reassuring. Hope you all feel more comfortable very soon. Best wishes brew

FannyCornforth Mon 27-Feb-23 04:32:51

Hello Jellybaby I hope that you and your mum are doing okay.
Thinking of you thanks