Being abandoned by friends during difficult times

Some people cannot deal with illness or infirmity and if they cannot make it better will stop contact.

Really sorry to hear that, when you need them most, they turned their back. They were your friends in the circumstances you were in. You're in different circumstances now, and need new friends.
There are support groups, both virtual and hopefully, in your area. And there are other groups you can join that will accept this new you.

How very true.
I have been twice bereaved in the last 18 months, and the people who have been extraordinarily kind to me are those I barely knew. The opposite is true of people from whom I would have expected support, ( particularly late DH’s sister who has been a 24 carat b..ch)!

My (as I thought) closest friend dropped me like a hot brick following my brain injury. I never found out why. Another more distant friend told me to ‘f*ck off’ when I told her I had cancer. So I did. I had supported her through many crises.

I had a similar problem when my DH had terminal cancer. One friend asked me if he was bedbound. I told her he spent most of his time gardening to which she replied 'he can't be that ill then can he'.
You do find out who your true friends are in these situations.

I am dealing with a similar situation at the moment, due to chronic ill health.
Part of the problem is I look so well and don't look ill.
Some of my friends just don't get it and think I'm exagerrating the extent of my ill health.

It is making me really sad and has been on my mind a lot.
I have realised that they are not true friends, especially my sister in law, whom DH and I supported way and above, during her husband's chronic illnesses. I haven't seen her since November yet, she lives just around the corner. So many empty promises.

I have learned to accept it.
However, I have to say , on a positive note, that there have been a few Gransnetters, who have been so supportive and held my hand on a number of occasions.

I'm not looking for sympathy, please don't think that.