Why won’t people answer their phones

If it was important, I'd just leave the formation in a message

Or I would send an email

Don't decide to just give up, that will potentially damage your relationship

I get very irritated by the assumption that I am always available to answer the phone or respond to messages! I have a busy life and it is not always convenient to pick up the phone or text back, equally I am never offended if others are the same. If its urgent I send a text/message/whatsapp saying please call asap as its urgent and thats never failed yet.I too have ditched the landline as it was mainly sales calls and I rarely answered it.

I rarely answer and young people I know seem shocked when their phone rings, WhatsApp and texting are mostly used now.

When communication by letter changed to by phone the older generation did not like it and thought it was not the proper way, now we have gone back to writing albeit electronically.

Generally speaking, the phone is for the user's convenience, not the caller

Op,
Contact your son and tell him the news.
Or send him an email or text.

Interesting this. It really drives me mad when friends answer their phones when we are out socialising. I think it's SO rude. However, I seem to recollect that I would excuse myself to answer our landline when we were entertaining at home in days of yore. No difference whatsoever and I now feel slightly ashamed of doing that. Didn't feel wrong at the time. I wonder why?

Totally agree! I dislike phone calls ‘out of the blue’ now - much prefer text/WhatsApp so can reply when convenient or after some thought - only have a landline for emergencies because signal can be poor here. If phone rings, I no longer feel obliged to ‘pick up’.

It does concern me though that if we had important family news that she needed informing about it may be a problem.

I don't understand why this is a concern. If you send the info in one of the several alternative means of communication mentioned on here, then she has the information. It's not always necessary to respond to pieces of information.

Very rare to talk on the phone these days.

Just a change in how we communicate

My daughter recently had an actual phone call from her brother. She flew into a panic thinking someone had died. The call itself had been accidental on his part.

With so many different ways to communicate, talking on the phone is dying out

To be honest most people nowadays rarely use voicemail or have landlines. I find it a hassle to go in and listen, the reality is I'll call back when I remember or I'm free, and whoever left the message usually reiterates what they said in the voicemail anyway! I know something is "urgent" if i have more than 2 missed calls from someone within an hour. Unless something is super urgent all my family use whatsapp or Signal to update things. We are all in group family chats too so we can group video call at Christmas etc. I understand that your preference may be to call and talk to someone but their preference may be to receive a text style message. In this case I'd contact your child and update them. Presumably it's their family anyway not your dils?

I always think that WhatsApp is the way to go. You know when the message has been read and have a permanant record for later on if anyone claims 'I didn't know'.
I would try calling, maybe twice, then I would resort to messaging as I never know when my offspring are working, in meetings, etc.

I only get the lady telling me I’ve received two suspicious transactions and callers from somewhere in India trying to sell me something. Rarely do we get a meaningful landline call.

Crumbs.
I had no idea the etiquette had changed in people not answering phones.

I like WhatsApp and use it all the time.
I can compose a message at a time to suit me, I can include a photo or link if appropriate.
I can see when my message has been delivered and when it has been read.
People can read it at a time to suit them and reply or not as they see fit.
I can send a message to an individual or set up a group chat.
Perfect 👍

Would that work better for you and your daughter-in-law Kartush?

How about sending a text? That will be delivered to her mobile, where she can read it at her leisure and not have to stop doing something to have what she may feel will be a long chat that she can't be bothered with.

Or write a letter - even if she doesn't answer it, a letter will lie around to remind her that she should have replied.

The other possibility is that she has changed her mobile and has another number, or has got rid of her landline, or is away somewhere for an extended trip.

I am inclined to agree with Kartush, we have a family member that never answers her phone, I leave a message on her answer machine and she gets back to me in about 3 days time ! I rarely ring so I am not being a pest! She does respond to what's app- occasionally! However I respect her choice about not answering messages by phone , email or what's app. It does concern me though that if we had important family news that she needed informing about it may be a problem.

Simple but not polite answer because they don't want to.
My Sil according to DD gets so many e-mails in a day that if he answered them all he would be up all night.[He works mainly from home]
Landlines especially they see as an intrusion and have not had one installed most of the time her mobile is on mute.
Don't even try, it just aggravates you but not them.

What would you do if (like me) you don't have a mobile phone with an Internet connection?

Perhaps write an email, a letter, or a whatsapp message if you can't get through by phone, Kartush. No-one is obliged to answer their phone. If it is, as you say, to give an update, then a letter (something written) will work perfectly well.

Is there anything she can do about the family situation? Maybe she’s not responding as she doesn’t have anything to add.

I would send a WhatsApp saying " give me a call please when you have a moment -no rush" or "please call - urgent" if it was.
Then they know it's not just a friendly chat.

Exactly Hetty! I work from home. My door is knocked on 6 or 7 times a day. All deliveries for neighbours. IF I'm free I occasionally answer, but I'm not the street's doorman.

I was told off - for not answering my door - by a very indignant neighbour. At the time, I was at the far end of the back garden - in the shed. I did have my mobile with me.

Apparently, they were worried about me, knowing that I hadn't gone out. What about if I was in the bath, asleep etc? Surely, it's up to me whether to answer the door or phone?

I got news of my granny's death via email, in the middle of a lesson (which was why phone was on silent!).

It is what it is. Read it. Deep breath. Stood up and carried on teaching.

I rarely, if ever, phone anyone these days, particularly my sons in case they're driving - even with hands free I don't want them distracted by phone conversations. I send a WhatsApp saying " give me a call, nothing urgent".

But it is a recognised phenomenon that there are some people who just don't respond to emails/calls . There was something on the radio about this - mainly younger people in the main who for whatever reason don't feel the need to reply within a reasonable time, if ever. Maybe they get too much 'stuff' !

Mmm I sympathise. I always say I’d have more luck trying to contact the President, the Pope or the Queen than our daughters!! So I don’t and they contact us when they’re able. It did backfire once when DH was taken I’ll-ambulance suggested I call someone local! Far chance! Just left messages-up to them!