Why won’t people answer their phones

Sometimes I turn the volume down low so that it doesn’t make me jump. Sometimes because of depression I can’t face answering it.

With you 100% biglouis. Until recently I was secretary of a state wide organisation and I just got sick of all the spurious messages. If it was important they would always leave a message. My phone,my rules.

It's easier and faster and more convenient to write a message, because you don't have to drop what you are doing to answer the phone... unless you give a specific time for the call, and more or less, keep it.

I communicate mainly be email because I run an international business. Because of the time differences I dont accept international phone calls except by prior arragement. I dont want American phoning me at 4 am to discuss a purchase. Email is ideal because I can decide what I want to say. Sometimes I just send a "bounce back" message which looks like an automated out of office.

As some posters have poiunted out my smartphone is for MY convenience and not for others, I would never give a neighbour my phone number because I dont want them pestering me. I dont answer unknown calls. I googlee them and most are scams of phishing. I rarely answer the door unless Im expecting someone or a package.

Listening to a voicemail is a bit of a hassle. My DH doesn't realise this and always leaves a long verbose message, punctuated by lots of throat clearing. I don't bother, I just hang up. They will see by the number that I have called and will ring back when it's convenient.

I don't listen to my voicemails either. Sometimes I check up on them and there are rambling lectures from DH on there that are weeks old.

I think the younger generations rely much more on text , email etc. our youngest son is university age and he has literally changed his outgoing voice mail
Message to “if you need to reach me urgently hang up and leave a text “. It’s just their preferred means of communication . Maybe try that ?

I work as an exam invigilator so my phone has to be on silent at work. I often then forget to turn the sound on again so I miss calls. I usually answer if I hear it. I don't always answer my landline as it is rarely a call from anyone I want to talk to though I do have 2 people who still ring me on it despite having my mobile number, as it is cheaper for them to do that! Unfortunately the number of scam calls I get means I can't always be bothered to walk across the room to the phone.
During lockdown I started going shopping late at night to avoid queues and crowds and went out one night without my phone. My daughter was trying to call me and tried my mobile repeatedly as well as the landline. She was really worried that something had happened to me so when I got home she gave me quite an ear bashing! It never occurred to her I might be in Tesco at 11:30 pm!

I agree. My spouse and I have said many times that we will be deceased for days before anyone discovers us (children.). They have their own lives and very seldom call.
I do not answer calls if it is an unknown number.

I think it’s rude - either answer or if it’s not convenient call back later that day or send a message. It appears that a lot of people don’t agree with this and we have a close family member who never or rather seldom responds…. It can be frustrating and I hate to think how she would feel if she missed an emergency because of it! We are learning to accept that it’s her choice - not ours.

Perhaps you do get so many ‘nuisance’ calls in the UK. None of my friends answer their phones,either, unless a name they know shows. I have several hundred ‘contacts’ so all my friends would show up when they call. Anyone else can leave a message or nick off!

I have sat this morning and re read all the posts, thank you all for your input, it is always good to have other insights into something that is troubling us.
I myself always (if possible) answer my phone immediately or call back as soon as I can, I always reply to text messages as soon as possible as well, i feel that if someone has taken the time to contact me then it is only polite to respond. But that is just me.

Re Kartush , I find it’s mistletoe the younger ones with an attitude that font answer phones or have the decency to text back at some point .
I take the same attitude as them when they come to see me I go out .

I can't understand why you can't just phone your son?

I have two friends who refuse to send texts and insist on talking on landline…..if it weren’t for these I could get rid of my landline. I’ve told them to call my mobile but they won’t! I’m seriously thinking of just NOT answering until they get the message.
If I call anybody they know it’s serious otherwise it’s a msg or Whatsap .

D-I-L would probably prefer that you text. Or just call/text your son.

I’m sorry it is just the way it is now. But, hey, that’s technology. Especially with younger generation, so we have to adapt.

My friends, family and I do use the preferred way of staying in touch daily, but not always. We do it in short conversational bursts - delivering important information, good/bad news, recipes, pictures, support, occasional gossip, some political stuff… and most importantly make plans to get together so we can sit and chat over a meal like we’re talking on the phone.

I like it. You can silence your phone when you want peace and quiet or take a nap.
ZZZZZ…..
USA Gundy

Morpeth78

Must admit we send texts much more frequently than phone calls, unless something important that needs to be a call,

I hate phones. Only good for emergencies otherwise a waste of time.
I much prefer to get emails or texts and can read them at my leisure.

well as far as family business that is important I would try and ring once then send a letter first class. You have done your best and if they cant be bothered to check up it is down to them. We all have different reasons for how and when we use the phone. I have an answerphone on mine and my friends know to hold on as I have some mobiilty problems. So unwanted calls dont wait as they dont know that and friends either get me or leave a message for me if I have been out. I have a mobile which I take with me but rarely use and it is always on silent if I am going to a meeting or something and then I can check it when I come out.

Same as Elegran, I'd send a text or WhatsApp. I hardly ever chat on the phone these days, kids the same, we have a text exchange to arrange a proper chat. Reasons, busy, shopping, driving, sleeping, eating etc etc. We have a phone code of it's urgent, ring for about 4-5 rings then disconnect for a minute and call again so the other person has time to stop what they were doing and take the call. We're also brief as we don't tend to have completely social phonecalls.

I only ignore my phone when it's someone I don't want to talk too . If I was you ,I would text whatever it is you want them to know and leave it at that

I don't always carry my phone with me round the house! What really annoys me if when I do answer and there is no one there!

I send texts or WhatsApps to my children - their phones rarely get answered. That said, my phone is usually buried at the bottom of my handbag, and I might have a few missed calls. It's a phone - I have no desire to carry it about looking at it every few minutes. If my DC want a chat, I usually get a text to say they will call me - usually on the landline - at a time later. They are busy, they have children, jobs, and attempt a social life when they have a few hours free, so I wouldn't expect them to leap to answer.

Be kind to yourself , get on with doing your own thing . Send a text if it is of some importance , leave it with her to respond
Safe in the knowledge that you have alerted her to the situation/s best wishes .

I don’t like the constant need for keeping in touch and updates on the trivia of peoples lives.

When I was younger there would be a weekly 10 minute phone call with my parents, now there seems to be a need for contact everyday with people informing of where they have been or are going wanting updates on other family members.

I don't understand why some get angry that the message or call are not replied to, just accept that there will people that you want communication with who do not wish to communicate with you.