How crass can you be ?

Shinamae

I had my baby adopted from an unmarried mothers home in March 1972 and I absolutely remember everything about that day…. Including being told to dress her nicely, and put her in her crib in the nursery, and not to go in for the next hour…

That's so sad, I'm so sorry that this happened to you

So sorry Shinemae. I hope I have not upset you and brought back distressing memories.
You are courageous to admit and say what happened to you. I hope you got all the support you needed at the time. Unlike some of my school friends, I know what the situation would have been like in our house.
There but for the grace of God went a lot of us.

Shinamae.
I'm so sorry, you are so brave to share such a horrible experience with us.
How many of us, of a certain age, "had to get married". There but for the grace of god go I.
I'm not religious, but that phrase sums it up.

Shinemae

I think in the context of the discussion it was a legitimate question to ask
The whole point is to tell how cruel the system was then and to highlight the inhumanity existing then.
If you ever watch Long Lost Family it is always asked to mothers seeking their lost child.
The pendulum has swung so far now the I think more babies are born to unmarried mothers than to married ones, this is by choice even the ones living in stable relationships with loving partners.

I had my baby adopted from an unmarried mothers home in March 1972 and I absolutely remember everything about that day…. Including being told to dress her nicely, and put her in her crib in the nursery, and not to go in for the next hour…

I think it depends on what briefing the woman had before being asked the question. Its quite possible she knew it would be asked, if not, then the presenters/producers weren't doing their job, as asking her that without warning was inappropriate.

Questions like that are frequently asked on Women's Hour - by women - but one always presumes they have had a chat before appearing.

All this historic apologising has got out of hand, and it’s an easy thing for politicians to do , gives them Brownie points.
An apology has to come from those concerned at the time or very shortly after or means nothing.
‘The past is a different country’ and so on.

I totally agree, Yammy. If parents had been willing to have the baby at home and the mother wanted to keep her baby there would have been no ‘forced’ adoptions of babies born to girls too young to look after them. The parents have to bear some measure of blame rather than the government. Babies are surely better brought up by adoptive parents than in institutions.

I think the question was par for the course these days. Many more open questions seem to be asked by most reporters.
The people I would like to have been asked are probably no longer alive. What did the girl's parents feel at the time?
When at school I knew three girls who were in this position non of them was old enough to look after the baby.
I know this diverges from the original post but think it is important. All three girls were sent to mother and baby homes. One left her baby there, one poor baby unfortunately died and the third was allowed to bring her baby home and it was brought up in a loving family until she married.
Surely the attitude of the girl's parents had a lot to do with the final outcome. Thinking of my own they would have made their own minds and yes my mother would have made me give the baby up. My father would have regretted it for the rest of his life.

It was a crass question maytime2 but then it's usual for presenters to ask such stupid things eg how did you feel when your friend was killed?

I have to say I found the whole apology thing pointless and a sop to the voting public. The present governments were in no way involved so how could they apologise for others whose motives were unknown. Makes absolutely no difference to how I feel as someone who has experience of both sides of this particular fence.