Loneliness

Thanks for extra info, Nanna. Your friend sounds a bit like my late friend who was popular and loved socialising, but who was devastatingly dependant on other people's company and was unable to live alone as a widow.

I totally back up Win s post
Get your friend to put her energy into volunteering it’s something to look forward to, it’s an adrenaline boost give you a moral surge, gives you a reason to use your surplus energy makes you friends and give you support
It’s a total win/win
Without it I d be a wreck

Who wants to know how I’ve spent the morning/day cleaning up God know what and dealing with the monotonous repetitive questions . They’d run a mile if I told them how it really was or suggest it’s getting too much for me now so perhaps to time to think of residential care…with the very best of intentions …so I smile say it’s not too bad and just get on with it
But it’s very lonely

My heart goes out to you Granniesunite.
“Not too bad” is such a brave and unselfish response, coming from love and not wishing to be disloyal. But perhaps you do need to off load and tell somebody what you are going through. They won’t “run a mile” and you do need a shoulder at times

There are lots of things you can do if you put your mind to it. Sitting at home moaning is not good for anyone

Oh dear
The “pull yourself together” brigade?

This particular lady is over busy and runs around like a headless chook,as they say here. She can’t and won’t sit still but much of what she does is seen by others as interfering. I know that it is to fill that loneliness void and ,although I tell her to slow down, she won’t . She is a lovely lady but many can’t see underneath the bustle because she can be quite irritating. I think you are right about the family void,though.

Granniesunite, I can only imagine what it must be like for you. I am sad watching the nicer part of my Mum disappearing before my eyes but I have my husband to turn to when I feel sad about it. Please accept a virtual hug.

Volunteering is the answer for a lot of lonely people, you can do it face toffee,online of on the telephone, it gives you a purpose and feeling of being wanted. It gives you back threefold what you give. You become part of a "Volunteering family" and often have meetings and training. It is flexible and you can say no at any time if you do not feel up to it for some reason. I will highly recommend it to anyone who has a gap to fill.

True Delila ‘the pull yourself together brigade’ need to think
before speaking.

Very sorry, Granniesunite and Anniebach. It doesn’t take much imagination, does it, to understand that it’s not a case of moaning and feeling sorry for yourself, and it takes courage to admit you’re lonely in a world where others around you are thinking it’s possibly your own fault.

Your right Marydoll except since December in a nursing home. To assume there is a choice for everyone caused me to reply as I did .

Granniesunite so sorry 💐

I know many on GN can't go for a walk for various reasons. I've been posting for quite a few years and know about some posters' circumstances so it would be better if we think before posting.

My husband has Alzheimer’s and my life has turned around completely. Im a full time carer for him and I wouldn’t have it any other way,although it does impact greatly on my own life.

I do have carers to give me a few hours to myself two days of the week but I can’t switch off completely from home as I’m always wondering how he is how his carers are with him and I know he misses me when I’m away so it’s a bitter sweet time for me.

I am lonely. He’s gone somewhere I can’t reach only a shell of the man left .It’s awful. I put on a face for family and for friends when they visit.

Who wants to know how I’ve spent the morning/day cleaning up God know what and dealing with the monotonous repetitive questions . They’d run a mile if I told them how it really was or suggest it’s getting too much for me now so perhaps to time to think of residential care…with the very best of intentions …so I smile say it’s not too bad and just get on with it.

But it’s very lonely.

AGAA4

I think Anniebach was just being ironic cause of an earlier post.

Knowing that Annie is virtually housebound, that's also how I interpreted it.

Because*

I think Anniebach was just being ironic cause of an earlier post.

Anniebach

All everyone has to do is get off the sofa, stop wallowing in self pity and get to the local park.

Annie, as you and some of us know, ill heàlth and compromised mobility make it difficult or impossible to get off the sofa and go for a walk.

nipsmum think it’s the answer .

Nipsmum and Anniebach it's useless to tell any suffering man or woman to snap out if it by walking in the park!

That should sort them out!

All everyone has to do is get off the sofa, stop wallowing in self pity and get to the local park.

Perhaps, faced with that comment Nipsmum, someone suffering from loneliness might not find Gransnet so helpful after all!

Being lonely does not mean self pity creeps in. Not everyone can walk , do think on that .

I could easily feel lonely and sorry for myself.but I don't. I have a dog who needs out several times daily. She keeps me active. I take her to the local park on the morning. I always see something or someone that cheere me up. I keep !myself busy, by cooking , baking , Knitting sewing (I bought myself a sewing machine a few years ago and I make quilts for charity).There are lots of things you can do if you put your mind to it. Sitting at home moaning is not good for anyone.

Yes, Allsorts, it’s very real. I remember reading Esther Rantzen saying she had plenty of people she could do things with, but nobody she could do nothing with.
I think that’s a good definition of loneliness.