How much interest did your parents take in your education?

Blondiescot wrote:
"---- I did qualify for a bursary to go to college, so my mother's supposed money worries were irrelevant."

Then you were the creme de la creme. Would you also support the idea of tertiary education for dummies?

My father was in the army, so my sisters and I, all went to boarding school at 11. As my father was posted to Germany and then Malaysia, they had few opportunities to play an active part in our education and in the 1950s, parents didn't anyway. No parents evenings and only termly reports.

The most disconcerting thing was that they just assumed we would do well, so when we had any educational achievement to be pleased about - passing 11+, O levels, A levels, they just took it for granted. No celebrations of any kind. In fact my mother almost complained that she was held in awe, with a bit of fear because she had such clever daughters, my youngest sister had just passed her 11+, my younger sister was doing O levels and I was doing A levels, with university in mind. Most officers daughters left school after O levels, did a secretarial course and then lived at home and hoped to attract the eye of one of the junior officers and marry them.

Worse/better still was another posting by which time I was at university and when home got invited to all the social events with my parents because I was over 18. People meeting me would ask me what I did and I would say i was at university, they would then ask me what I was studying and I would say 'economics' and everyone would avoid me for the rest of the evening.

My school had parents’ evenings in the 1950s, M0nica.

Like many on here my parents were both very bright but didn’t get the opportunities and in my Dad’s case didn’t get the encouragement.

They both wrote beautifully, were keen readers, could do fractions and decimals far better than me. Dad left school at 14 and then a few years later was called up for the war. My Mum was encouraged to go to Technical College where she excelled in all Domestic Science subjects and would have like to be a DS teacher but then along came the war, marriage, babies etc.

I passed the 11+ and went to Grammar School and they came to all the Parents Evenings and took an interest in my homework but as I got older I used to fib and tell them I had already done it or we hadn’t been given any. I would say they did their best for me for the majority of the time.

When i told my parents that I was applying for university, her words were: People like us don't go to university.

I got a job in the Knorr factory over the summer and worked in a bar at night to pay my way.

Many years later, when I told her I was going back to do another qualification, she told me my place was at home with my three children.

My parents were rather too busy being teachers to pay much attention to our schooling. As long as the reports and parents' evenings were OK we were trusted to get on and do our best, and so we did!

None at all…(apart from reading our school reports)

Not a lot, even though my mother was a teacher. I did well at school, right up to A levels, when I could no longer depend on just memorising things.

I think I've learned far more as an adult than I ever did at school, just by being interested in various topics. Doing a degree in my 40s was wonderful.

I never knew how prestigious it was to attend grammar school. I offered my son pilot training and university but he didn’t want to bankrupt us and I respected his decision. He’s doing fine in the TV and podcast world.

I was the eldest of 5 children, and the only one to go to grammar school. I think they, my mother especially, only cared about us doing well at school in so far as it equipping us to leave and get a good job as soon as possible, and contribute to the family finances. Very little interest was shown in the subjects I did, so long as I got reasonable msrks. As a child I rarely had my nose out of a book, and mum was always on at me to stop reading and give her some help.

One thing I remember though is that mum insisted on me having piano lessons; I started when I was about 8 and she would give me 1/6 a week for my lesson with an elderly spinster teacher who was very strict. I later moved on to different teachers and continued lessons throughout school and into college, and music became my main subject at college.

My dreams were set on sixth form, A levels and possibly university. My mother wanted me to leave at 16 and work in a bank.

I can remember a posse of my teachers coming to see my parents at home; they all sat in a row on the sofa in our kitchen, and persuading mum and dad to let me stay on into the sixth form. For once my mother couldn't get a word in edgeways! It seemed to work and I duly did my A levels.

In the end I went to teacher training college, became an infants teacher, and taught primary for the rest of my career.

I would be very angry if anyone called us "respectable working class" its clearly an insult.I grew up in a Glasgow housing scheme and everyone I knew were hard working ,family minded. intelligent mainly GOOD folk .
Some went to Uni ,some went to private school...my sister did and wasn't happy there .Why is there any doubt in some peoples minds that the working class is "respectable"
I've run businesses for almost 50 years I STILL say I'm working class,surely if you need to WORK for a living thats what you are? The class nonsense does my brain in .Divisive rubbish!People who think they are superior simply because they went to university make me laugh.

I went to a grammar school and my parents were interested in that. They had no idea which subjects I chose in the later years, no input whatsoever. I did very well at school but I don’t think they even realised and I wasn’t going to tell them. Very different from my grandchildren where my daughter knows everything about their choices and uni courses. Class stuff wasn’t really an issue, we just didn’t talk about it,thank goodness except my mum didn’t like me to sound like a Cockney!

"Respectable working class" was a label which many people in that group used to differentiate themselves from "rough" or lower class people who did not work or lived on benefits. There was a tremendous stigma in those days against people (particularly men) who had no job and made no effort to support their family As kids we were forbidden by our parents to play with the children one particular family because their father was "always out of work".

In the 1950s social class was still a very strong element in determining one's life chances and gaining social acceptance in a profession. Bright young people with very good degrees can still find it difficult to secure certain predtigious jobs because they dont come from the "right" background. Anyone who seeks to deny that social class was (and still is) a significant factor in Britain is being very naive.

We lived with our gran in inner city Liverpool until we moved to the ‘countryside’ on the outskirts in the early 1960s. We were never encouraged to have ambition but we had to attend school. I was told as my siblings were all seven of us you have to get out and get a job. I did as a hairdressers apprentice to start with many jobs followed some rather good jobs because I went to night school for qualifications.

I don’t blame my parents for their narrow outlook it was exactly how they were brought up. However it did spur me on though after being a rebellious teenager I grew to be very determined young woman. I did go to university as a mature student which was my initial goal to prove I could do it.

I finished my working life running a successful business with my husband who took over from his father. It was hard work but honest work and a good living I am proud of who I am and where I came from. A working class Liverpool girl with chutzpah and I will never be ashamed of my roots.

Britain reeks of class consciousness- very noticeable when you visit after being away for some time. Very funny to the outsider. Most countries have it, including Australia, but it is more obvious in Britain. Denied ,of course, but it is definitely there!

nanna and the evidence of your statements is what? As the descendant of Irish immigrants, the lowst of the low as they were at the time they came to England. Over 2 or 3 generations they have risen up the economic ladder without much problem as have other friends of ours.

Every country has a pecking order and everywhere it is money. The more you have the higher your status.

nanna8

Britain reeks of class consciousness- very noticeable when you visit after being away for some time. Very funny to the outsider. Most countries have it, including Australia, but it is more obvious in Britain. Denied ,of course, but it is definitely there!

I can’t say I am aware of it. The difference between the “haves” and the “ have nots” , yes, and that seems to be growing daily, but that is to do with money, certainly not class. People who are prepared to pay “silly” money for meals or clothes still make me bite my tongue but twas ever thus.
Perhaps nanna8 is mixing in posher or more rarified circles than most of us (certainly me)
I too would be interested in nanna8’s evidence.

Caleo

Blondiescot wrote:
"---- I did qualify for a bursary to go to college, so my mother's supposed money worries were irrelevant."

Then you were the creme de la creme. Would you also support the idea of tertiary education for dummies?

Huh? I'm confused...bursaries were widely available at that time.

M0nica

nanna and the evidence of your statements is what? As the descendant of Irish immigrants, the lowst of the low as they were at the time they came to England. Over 2 or 3 generations they have risen up the economic ladder without much problem as have other friends of ours.

Every country has a pecking order and everywhere it is money. The more you have the higher your status.

Perhaps nanna8 is thinking of our government which, until fairly recently, consisted predominantly of ex-pupils of an expensive public school?

My dad was the dux of his school and went to university but left after a year. He was an orphan and his foster parents didn't have the money to support him there. His birth uncle refused to support him at university, considering it a waste of family money. My mum came from a very poor family and she left school at 14 to get a job. Later on, when we were older, she went to college and achieved o grades and became a school secretary. I was always encouraged to do the best I could and supported to go to university.

My parents were very keen that I should have a good education as they didn't. My dad had to leave school at 14 to help support his widowed mother and two younger brothers, and my mother, the middle child of three and quite shy, never did fulfil her true potential, I think, as she was very bright.

Dad was a lorry driver and Mum worked in Woolworths, so money was always tight. I passed the 11-Plus in 1957 and got a place at what is still the best school in the area. I never realised what sacrifices they made to afford the uniform (the blazer had to last 5 years). They took great interest in the school and my progress and would have loved me to go to university but I was keen to get out into the world so I took a year's intensive secretarial course at a local technical college and started my working life in 1963, having fallen in love with Isaac Pitman's glorious shorthand!

Blondiescot, I meant that anyone who won a bursary did so on merit. Among people who applied for bursaries there would be some who were refused. I wondered if you think everyone should be offered tertiary education automatically whether or not they were higher achievers.

I missed out on the 11+ because I failed the maths paper. In those days you had to pass on all three papers - maths, English and general knowledge. I would have passed easily if an aggregate mark had been allowed.

Two years later they changed the system to an overall assessment. I could have tried again for the 13+ but by then I was settled in a secondary modern and was getting encouragement and support as one of the most academic children in the school. So I probably did a lot better there.

Looking back my parents would never have afforded the uniform for the grammar school. Somtimes children can fail the 11+ and flourish later when they are a bit more mature. I was a late starter.

All my life Ive been grateful to my first secondary modern form teacher Mrs A and my headmaster Mr C who both saw something in me. They encouraged me to aspire to something more than working in a shop or a factory as many of my friends did. Many years later, after he had retired, I learned that one of my bosses sometimes saw my old headmaster and I asked him to pass on my good wishes and thanks for his help. He (my boss) told me that the headmaster remembered me at once and was very moved that I had thought of him after all those years.

Looking back I suppose my family were unusual. My father was the youngest but one of ten children, living in a two up two down with his widowed mother. In spite of their straightened situation one of his sisters went to Oxford and another became a successful civil servant. He went to Art School which was pretty off the wall for the 1930s. My mother's family were more middle class - her father had a company car and they had a daily cleaner! Amazingly she also went to Art School at the age of 15. Presumably this was acceptable because my grandfather worked in fashion.

I was an only child and expected to pass the 11 plus - which I did, and expected to do well at grammar school - which I did, although I would have done better if I'd done more work! They expected me to do well without taking any interest in what I was actually doing. This was probably why I decided I was going to be some sort of scientist in spite of being completely incapable of doing the maths that any sort of science involved. They had never really encouraged my art work, I suppose that as they were artists themselves they just expected me to be able to do it. In the end, a couple of terms before O Levels I said I wanted to drop chemistry and do art. Huge upheaval at school but I got my way and went on to take A Level art and go to Art School. Once I was there my parents took far more interest because I was speaking their language.

Grandmabatty it was tragic your father did not get a free university education! I'm interested in the attitude of your birth uncle and I wonder how usual it was for working class people to be apathetic about higher education.
I gather parents were more often apathetic about girls and higher education