Favourite sayings

Ha! "Yer no sae green as yer cabbage looking" and "They're aw oot o' step but oor Jock" were two of my parents' favourites.

My personal favourite is a modern one, "Not my circus, not my monkeys". It comes in awfy handy. 🌼

Right said Fred, better get a move on.

When you're up to your neck in the sh**, don't hang your head.

The perspective changes depending on where you stand.

A good Scots expression for when things really cheese you off is:
I'm sick and scunnered.

These might be just Liverpudlian expressions not really sure.

“If you had brains you’d be dangerous”.
“He / She has got the brains of a rocking horse”
“You are talking verbal diarrhoea”

They all sound rather derogatory expressions but are usually said in jest.

He who laughs last never got the joke in the first place.

Looks like shes wet her knickers and its gone hard (Liverpudlian)

I could eat a child's bottom through a cane chair (very hungry)

Life's how it is,
Not how it should be ..........

Another Granny-ism

"They're a' oot o' step but oor Jock".

I'm as old as my tongue and a bit older than my teeth.

As GrandMattie upthread
Julian of Norwich

To thine own self be true!

The game's a bogie
The ba's on the slates
Yer bum's oot the windae

All used when things go somewhat awry.

my granny always told me - Whit's Fur Ye'll No Go By Ye and in proper english - What's for you will not go by you, i still use this phrase even to my doctor when i was diagnosed with cancer twice, first time my irish doctor said his granny used the same phrase.

My uncle would say about a not very attractive person, "they are hard to look at."

My father having a glass of wine, "here's to us, none like us"

My Granny, if anyone broke wind, she would say "who let polly out of prison" which would make us all hoot with laughter.

My father had a similar one absent.

When one door closes another one slams in your face!

Life is a jest, and all things show it.
I thought so once, and now I know it.

John Gay's epitaph

You can't put an old head on young shoulders. I can remember my grandmother saying that when she heard what my older cousins had been up to.

Jaxjacky

‘Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp’.

My dad used to say that one.

If you can’t say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.
If you can’t be good, be careful

When one door closes, another one shuts.

A pessimist is an optimist with experience.

‘A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.’
Maybe not quite verbatim - I can’t remember who said it.

Julian of Norwich - “All will be well, all will be well, all manner of things will be well”

How about ‘face like a well chewed caramel’