Flare up re me not wanting to go a gaming group with only men in the title

@BlueBelle I've obviously explained badly. I was really thrown by my daughter's reaction, and was asking for input in case there's a new view I am unaware of. That's what I'm asking about.

I have no interest in the group itself, nor in its name, only in the huge reaction my comment has had on my daughter. It is sometimes hard to keep up with current trends, I thought perhaps someone here would be able to clue me in.

We'll chat, it'll be fine, I'll understand.

Can you explain, I know I sound thick, but why does the title ‘with Dice and men’ exclude women players what do you want it to be called ‘with dice , men, women, transgenders, black, white and Asians’ Doesn’t have the same ring does it
I think you are being way too sensitive
Would only men go to see a film entitled ‘Man over board’
Excuse the pun but I think it’s ‘much ado about nothing’

Thanks, all 😊

I posted because I was so surprised at the unusual flare-up with my daughter, wondered if I was missing something newish.

All four of us in our immediate family are/have been DMs...it is a real skill, kudos to all who manage it well.

As said, it's not about whether or not I go, it's about trying to find out current stuff I may be out of touch with before daughter and I chat, so I can understand properly where she is coming from. It was a huge, very unusual flare-up, enough so that we're leaving it for a bit.

@Elegran, you’ve left me behind...
@Foxygloves Drag came in because of Riverwalks kind first reply

To those who think it's a fuss about nothing, I think you've misread. A really unusual row with my adult daughter is not nothing, I was asking for others' relevant experience in case I was really out of touch.

Mice, dice, dolphins are completely innocent imho 😊

Thanks, everyone.

They could be talking about sugar and spice, way over my head no idea what anyone’s on about, but then I m not familiar with dungeons and dragons so I ll leave you all to get on with it but I wouldn’t let a title put me off, all sounds a bit weird

Dolphins are utter misogynists but that may not be relevant here

Baggs

Dice aren't sexist.

And mice are? 😆

Thanks, all, a bit to read here with different viewpoints, so I'll take time to think about everything said, and come back. I do appreciate you taking time to respond.

What’s left to explain?

WolWol Obviously it’s a sexist name. But without knowing the members, it’s hard to say whether it’s unthinking sexism, based purely in finding the pun funny, where members would be horrified/embarrassed to be seen as excluding women; whether they wouldn’t care; or whether it’s designed to discourage women.

Once you know which, you’d be able to make an informed decision based on the strength of your own views. However, it’s unreasonable to expect your daughter to feel the same as you - her experiences of life and her feminism (or not?) won’t be yours. Understanding why each of you feel differently could be an interesting and ongoing discussion.

Any chance of OP coming back and explaining?
No?

Danni
Dungeon Master control the game and writes/ creates the plots.
She’s a lot smarter than I am, it’s a skill.

DanniRae DM stands for Dungeon Master, who is a sort of referee.

It is unusual to find a group that excludes women, groups that exclude men are quite common. I would guess this is just an attempt at a catchy name and does not actually discriminate against women. I have always objected strongly against any form of discrimination so it would be hypocritical for me to join any group that discriminated

I’m not a feminist if I enjoyed the group I would go and not comment about the name, as long as the group respects polite language that’s fine with me, any kind of crude or vulgar behavior and I’m out.

Sorry no relevant experience, I had to Google it. Not my thing but what a lot of fuss about a clever pun.

dogsmother

Lol, my DD is an dm and a very strong minded lady, she’s a similar age to yours wolwol. I wouldn’t worry about it, if you want to play and join in do if not don’t.

I have worked out most of this thread ....... eg. what D&D is but what does it mean that your daughter is a dm? I have 2 daughters and I need to know if they are dm and I don't know??

Tng-in-chk

What a do about nothing. Now wait for the defenders of feminism to post horrible things to this really old woman who has lived through all the real troubles of a male dominated society. I love John Steinbeck so the title would have attracted me so I would have wanted to join. There would have been fireworks if I had been refused.🤣🤣🤣

It's actually difficult to know from a 'punning' title if it is intended to be exclusive, or they are making fun of themselves.
I would contact them, and ask if there are women in the group at present.
If that doesn't really work, say to DD that you would give it a go to see how comfortable you feel; maybe even go separately if you might want to duck out whilst she stays.

Have you remembered that the book title is actually a quote from Robert Burns 'the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley' - which would have meant 'mankind'. They may be referencing that, meaning that however carefully they plan their strategies, they 'go aft agley' - in which case they might be quite a fun group!

Lol, my DD is an dm and a very strong minded lady, she’s a similar age to yours wolwol. I wouldn’t worry about it, if you want to play and join in do if not don’t.

Dice aren't sexist.

I don't have a problem with "Of Dice and Men" - but then not sure I'm qualified to comment when you say:
Please, only relevant experience - I haven't played D&D since the early 1970s and have never had this sort of problem re this sort of disagreement with my daughter.. plenty of other disagreements .

That said, if you wouldn't be comfy going to it then don't go.

It sounds like this group is called ‘Of Dice and Men’ which is also the title of a book about Dungeons and Dragons. I doubt it excludes women but you could go along and find out. If it didn’t suit you then don’t go back.

Am I missing something?
Is D&D Dungeons and Dragons?
What is the objection to a group - not necessarily all male, but with a clever punning title which doesn’t mention women?

Finally
Where does Drag come into this?

I would say you can be in touch with current moves towards being deliberately extra-inclusive of everybody, without feeling that you must join one group because its name sounds as though it consists all of people of one type which you would be discriminating against to not join it. Any type.

When going with the flow becomes obligatory, it is discriminating against personal choice.

@Riverwalk Thank you. I agree it's generational. I do think I am usually in touch, even if only at the edges, this came completely out of the blue.

I do sometimes watch RuPaul, (to keep in touch) very different to Danny La Rue, Hinge and Bracket, Lily (rip Paul), Dame Edna

Thank you

The nearest equivalent I can think of - last year a few former colleagues that I get together with every now and then were planning a visit to a comedy club that featured drag artists.

Other than Lily Savage and Dame Edna I'm not a fan of drag and said so - there was a bit of a divide in the group, the 40-somethings saw no problem, us oldies were out of step, which surprised me.