Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

Too many people are ready with instant outrage over trivia. A bit if commonsense is needed about intergenerational differences.

"Calling a receptionist ‘darling’ ( locally used frequently by older generation) or similar such things. Nothing too terrible but he is beginning to get some disapproving responses."

Oh hithere pleeeeeze what a mountain out of a molehill
Poster didn’t say anything about anyone calling him out for him saying darling she mentioned some ‘disapproving responses’ which could have been a raised eyebrow from someone akin to yourself 😂

Thr issue with empathy is that some medical conditions are invisible

Op has expressed people has called him out on his behaviour already so it is in fact a problem

"He’s a lovely gentleman and very friendly and I feel so sorry for him when people don’t react the way he expects."
This is an orange flag - i wonder how he expects people to react that does not match reality

Ah, thanks.

Not you Baggs, that's not what I meant. I was trying to say that you expressed the fact that respect goes both ways but the very next post, from someone else, was about a poster aggressively giving somebody a piece of their mind.

Sorry for any confusion.

volver3

^Respect goes both ways.^ Says Baggs, quite rightly. But

I would tell them exactly what they are 😡 and it wouldn’t be pleasant says MerylStreep.

I am really confused as to why someone else being "put out" about something causes such anger in grown adults...

Please show from whence you picked up anger in my posts, V. There was none.

Well said Foxy

Boz

Message withdrawn

It’s appalling but frankly irrelevant too.
This is NOT what OP is talking about and by introducing the memory of an abusive act you are adding a sexual connotation to a completely harmless form of address.
Not helpful.

Respect goes both ways. Says Baggs, quite rightly. But

I would tell them exactly what they are 😡 and it wouldn’t be pleasant says MerylStreep.

I am really confused as to why someone else being "put out" about something causes such anger in grown adults...

I suspect given the OP’s distress that it’s about more than just calling people darling sometimes - I wouldn’t especially like it, but I’d probably ignore it unless I was feeling harassed. If there are other things though, they need to be addressed.

As many other posters have said, it all depends on the context. I’m called all sorts of things and it’s usually said with a smile so I appreciate it. During lockdown, when so many things were delivered, it was lovely to be called “love” or anything else friendly, that would often be the only person, apart from DH, I spoke to that day.
I think mouthing a short explanation is your best bet OP and it might make the receptionist think. Please don’t worry about it though. Ok, try not to worry about it.

Its unfair that this rolling of eyes gets to innocent people.

Just think they must lead very narrow lives if those things bother them. Always looking to pick others up on minor things.

I wonder if the “darling” example is the tip of the iceberg for this OP. Is she worried that he will become over familiar in other ways? Or use embarrassing sexual innuendoes? This can happen with some folks with dementia and would definitely be unacceptable. Perhaps that is where her anxiety lies.

Baggs

*No-one's ever called me darling.*

Or perhaos they have and I've just never noticed because it didn't matter.

I'm upset because no-one's called me scrumptious.
I'd never thought about it until this thread.

☹

No-one's ever called me darling.

Or perhaos they have and I've just never noticed because it didn't matter.

Sankev
I wish I could be with you when some of these women take offence at a lovely expression. Not only would they get the laser stare, verbally I would tell them exactly what they are 😡 and it wouldn’t be pleasant.
I’m reminded of my lovely late Geordie father in law. He called the bedroom the cockloft.
Get the smelling salts out.

I'm feeling aggrieved now. No-one's ever called me darling. Humph.

In Yorkshire and Lancashire it was luv all the time. I don't remember anything from the eastern Scottish cities I lived in. Nor in Oxfordshire. Now, in west Scotland, it's pal or mate.

sankev, in your position I think I'd mouth a quiet "sorry!" to anyone whose body language suggested offence to you and leave it at that.

In general I'm for much more tolerance and general chill. Perhaps some people have such narrow lives they've never learnt to be forebearing of people who, because of age or a different culture, or whatever "break" their precious (but silly) rules and taboos. Respect goes both ways.

Avalon I don’t think that she (Boz) was a little girl.
The reference was to the silly poem:
‘there was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forrid.
And when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid’.

That said, I found the anecdote rather confusing

Yes I agree Glorianny I live in the north east and rarely hear pet.

Fleurpepper

Indeed anno, same here.

And it is very regional, especially for our generation and a bit older. When I moved from London to the Potteries, I couldn't believe my ears and was almost shocked with all the 'love' 'duck' 'dahling' and so on- but quickly got used to it and it became part of life. Same when we moved over to Leicestershire.

So much pain and hurt in the world, I refuse to get uptight about someone calling me 'lover' or even 'darling'. Depends on context, of course.

It always makes me smile if I go back and someone calls me 'duck' in a shop or when out somewhere!

I think it is quite funny the things that can offend people.
I don't mind people telling me to "Have a nice day." I always think there's the possibility that it might make the day better.

I think you can only take each situation as it comes sankev and try to judge the level of irritation he has caused. If it seems the person he spoke to is very upset then a quiet word about his condition might help. If it's just minor then ignore it.
You could also try giving a glance back as you walk away , raising your eyebrows and mouthing "sorry"

As far as Geordie land goes I think the term "pet" is falling into disuse. It doesn't seem to be heard much now.

Volver one questions the morals of someone who even thinks it’s ok for a little girl especially to have this happen.

Primrose53

What about the current craze that younger people have of calling everybody “lovely”? Where’s that from ….. Wales?

My friend calls everyone lovely, she's from SE England.

There's lovely!

You may be right 25Avalon

If anyone thinks that this is a good way of winding somebody up then they are disgusting.