Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

Volver I think Boz must be trying to wind you up. If that really happened it is disgusting.

Boz

Message withdrawn

Where do I start?

I'm sure most of us are mature enough to be able to tell the difference when someone uses terms like "darling" because they have had a stroke, dementia or other problems, or it is a local colloquial term, and when someone is being downright sleazy.

Grammaretto

Well you hear everything on GN!

And here's me joining in.
DMiL aged 98 is in hospital ATM. I was visiting and the young nurse called her darling or my darling the whole time despite her name being above her bed.
I squirmed because it infantilised her in my opinion.

Here is a person who lived through the 2nd world war, was an English teacher, (very well read and intelligent) has travelled the world, lived in India and France, speaks French fluently, has run a hotel, brought up 3 DC, nursed her own DH and so on .
At the end of our lives none of that matters and here she is, like a baby again.

Btw I get called Hen, luvvy, dear and Allsorts. I don't mind it.

Oh I get that- your indignation at your mum's loss of dignity. Totally. Being infantilised goes far beyond calling her 'darling or my darling' I am quite sure. And it is hard to hear, to see, to feel - the whole thing, not just the names. Totally.

However, the question is 'it upset you, but did it upset HER'. Why not talk to the young nurse, nicely and with a smile, and tell her how it makes you feel. As long as you do it in the right spirit, she could learn from this.

Satkev so sorry for your plight, could you not mouth he's had a stroke so they understand, if you tell your H he will not remember the next day. My mum had a stroke and did begin to say slightly inappropriate things but then lost her speech, so sad.

Take no heed of Hithere.

Silver yes, I remember 'love a duck', my aunt & uncle always used the term 'ducks' I remember it with fondness.

If someone called my 'luv' or 'darling' I'd take it as it was meant with kindness. So much badness in the world how could you be offended by an endearing term!

pascal30

You ought to come to Brighton everyone calls each other darlin, love, lovely and the other day I was called scumptious by someone in the big art community down here. Do I get offended? absolutely not.. and if an old man called me darling I would give him a nice smile...

No-one's called me scrumptious for years 😂

Come to sunny Devon where anyone may be called "Me Lover"

That was very wrong Boz. You must know that.

FannyCornforth

Hithere

Your rights cannot infringe mine, empathy or not

Being called "darling" is very much a nono

No it isn’t

Well, it's quite obvious when someone feels "their rights" over something fairly inocuous like this trump those of someone who is struggling with the world around them and may behave in a way they never did, that someone has no empathy or understanding for the struggles of others.
No understanding of the person and no understanding whatsoever of the struggles of those caring for that person.

Thank goodness there are so many caring and understanding people in the work.

I know who I am - I don't need validation from other people by them not calling me darling!

There are so many worse things to be called.

WTF....

what is wrong with that?

Where shall I start?

Message withdrawn.

My son suffered a severe head injury. Made a good recovery although still problems. He says much worse things. Sometimes embarrassing or totally non pc. It's not always possible to explain. Luckily his work colleagues understand. We do point it out to him, but it's very difficult to change this.
We need to be aware and make allowances for those who don't have full mentally capacity for whatever reason.

scrumptious

You ought to come to Brighton everyone calls each other darlin, love, lovely and the other day I was called scumptious by someone in the big art community down here. Do I get offended? absolutely not.. and if an old man called me darling I would give him a nice smile...

I have no problem with being called darling, love, dear, pet - friendly greetings. I really don’t understand why people are so offended by innocent friendliness.

And, to be perfectly clear, if I upset anyone it is their problem not mine.

You seem nice.

I call people darling when I can't remember their names, so must remain damned forever.
Years ago, the girl of the bacon counter of the local co-op called everyone cock, as in "what can I get you, cock".
And, to be perfectly clear, if I upset anyone it is their problem not mine.

My Geordie SonIL sometimes calls me pet - I seem to be surviving somehow.

Absolutely Salti. It ain't what you say but the way that you say it that matters.

I like and agree with your comment Sparklefizz. 👍

I never get upset when I get called " darling" or "love" by old people whether I know them or not. One old man frequently calls me darling because temporarily he forgets my name. He's 97, and yes he did serve in WW2. Why on earth would I worry and get upset about things like this.
As with all conversation for me the way a word is used, the context and intent is the important factor.
I can make "Sir" or "Madam" sound like a huge insult if I really want.

volver3

And yet - a poster thinks it all right to respond to the phrase "Have a nice day" with the retort that they are old and can't possibly have a nice day. Somebody thinks the appropriate way to respond to another person IRL is to tell them to "wise up".

We don't know if the receptionist was offended or even if she had patients (LRavenscroft !) or a hotel to look after.

Why so touchy? And they call us snowflakes...

I am going off to give my head a wobble and a strong espresso as yet again I find myself in total agreement with you ☕️🙀

I suspect that the 'darling' comment is just an example. A bus driver called me darling recently and I got off the bus smiling happily. I don't know why! He was a nice cheery man and we were both happy about it.
However, older people may use language that was in common use in their youth but are now total nonos! My late MiL was a really nice kind lady but I remember my DS cringing at some of the things she came out with on the bus. Absolutely no harm meant but...!!
Is the OP afraid of that sort of thing?

And yet - a poster thinks it all right to respond to the phrase "Have a nice day" with the retort that they are old and can't possibly have a nice day. Somebody thinks the appropriate way to respond to another person IRL is to tell them to "wise up".

We don't know if the receptionist was offended or even if she had patients (LRavenscroft !) or a hotel to look after.

Why so touchy? And they call us snowflakes...

Oh for heavens sake!
How can you be so offended with an elderly gentleman calling you ‘darling’.
The world has gone mad !