Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

Your DH has a polite manner even though he has had stroke. It’s his way and he isn’t going to change now people who know him won’t take offence.
My dad was old fashioned and used expressions like darling and love. He was a lovely character and I wish every day he was still here but he didn’t get over his stroke.
People who don’t know him and who aren’t woke 24/7 will probably dismiss the darling expression. You really don’t need to stress about it and don’t let it stop you going out.

I don’t particularly like being called darling or love but in the big scheme of things to worry about I let it go. I like even less being called hun or babe grrr. My hairdresser always calls me lovie wouldn’t dream of saying anything to her.

Well you hear everything on GN!

And here's me joining in.
DMiL aged 98 is in hospital ATM. I was visiting and the young nurse called her darling or my darling the whole time despite her name being above her bed.
I squirmed because it infantilised her in my opinion.

Here is a person who lived through the 2nd world war, was an English teacher, (very well read and intelligent) has travelled the world, lived in India and France, speaks French fluently, has run a hotel, brought up 3 DC, nursed her own DH and so on .
At the end of our lives none of that matters and here she is, like a baby again.

Btw I get called Hen, luvvy, dear and Allsorts. I don't mind it.

What I don’t like is the obligatory ‘Have a nice/lovely day’ said to me in most shops now
I agree NanKate!
“Have a lovely/wonderful evening”
I want to snarl “I should be so lucky!” but I don’t, I smile and say “You too”
Similarly with “See you later” especially from male teenage check out assistant.
I fantasise about doing a Marjorie fforbes-Hamilton and drawling “I think that is highly unlikely” but it’s the new polite and until we agree a universal format (as in France) we should be jolly glad people talk to us old dears at all.

Too much offence and too little kindness and understanding spot on Lovetopaint

Don't let it worry you and spoil your trips out sankev. I don't understand why anyone would take offence being addressed as 'darling' by an elderly gentlemen and if they are, the problem's theirs.

Hon, love, sweets, darling, dear, whatever -it’s not a problem here OP, though people may well make you feel uncomfortable about it and I’m sorry about that. I don’t suppose they’d be any happier if you publicly told him, “They don’t like being called darling.”
The complaints would then be, “You didn’t have to say that so publicly!”

One of the teachers I worked with (he died young and was sadly missed) used to use darling for all the female staff. It was just his way. I don’t remember anyone complaining.
Now I sometimes get referred to as hon, but it’s by a female TA, so I suppose that wouldn’t offend anyone.

NanKate

I’m happy to be called Pet, Darling, Madam etc

What I don’t like is the obligatory ‘Have a nice/lovely day’ said to me in most shops now. I regularly explain to assistants that for people of my age having a nice day could be impossible for those who may be experiencing illness for themselves or family members, hospital visits, bereavement, loneliness etc

Excellent post NanKate

In my opinion, there's so much more to be offended by than being called Darling or Love by a stranger.

The world is going to hell in a handcart with wars and stabbings and strikes that I'm not going to give a second's thought to something so minor. I just don't care about it. It signifies nothing.

Too much offence and too little kindness and understanding.
Result a brittle less pleasant society.

Indeed anno, same here.

And it is very regional, especially for our generation and a bit older. When I moved from London to the Potteries, I couldn't believe my ears and was almost shocked with all the 'love' 'duck' 'dahling' and so on- but quickly got used to it and it became part of life. Same when we moved over to Leicestershire.

So much pain and hurt in the world, I refuse to get uptight about someone calling me 'lover' or even 'darling'. Depends on context, of course.

I have just remembered an expression used frequently on the 50s/60s ( London) love a duck . Think it was to do with surprise but not sure now. Does anyone remember that?
As for the OP yes we are in different times in terms of offence easily taken. Try not to worry but if someone appears offended have a quiet word.
I wish you both well.

For all she knows he may have fought for his country in the Second World War.

He'd have to be at least 96 years old then.

I don't suppose he is, is he OP?

Get over yourselves. I don''t call anyone 'darling' or even 'love', apart from my nearest and dearest. However, I can understand that some of my generation have grown up using these terms alternatively. So what if a checkout lady in a supermarket calls me 'darling? She's not being over-familiar but simply using a word that comes naturally to her. I prefer it to 'madam'.

Hithere

I was born with a name and i expect people to use it
Darling is a term of endearment, reserved for close relationships, not strangers

Would a man say darling to another guy?
No, it is reserved for women

As a person, i expect the same respect a person witn a penis has, not being called darllng based on my ovaries

Chauvinistic attitude at best

Or charm from a byone era?! An old colonel used to call me 'darling' and I loved it. He was such a sweetie. Long passed away now but the echo of a time when gents took their hats off when a lady passed by. So what about 'honey' or 'dear ? I don't think you should be apologising for an elderly gent's behaviour, rather tell the receptionist to wise up to who her patients are treat them as individuals with a wealth of life experience behind their now frail and feeble appearance. For all she knows he may have fought for his country in the Second World War. What are we coming to?!

I wish your husband well sankev

He is fortunate still to be able to communicate, many stroke victims cannot.

Please do not upset yourself over this.

What about the current craze that younger people have of calling everybody “lovely”? Where’s that from ….. Wales?

BlueBelle

Duck was my Nans greeting too Fanny she was from Leicestershire I d give a lot to hear her say ‘come here me duck’ again

In fairness it seems only one or two people on here are into this stiff collar, take offence at everything, mode
Poor them what a narrow dull place their world must be

Oh Yes! I lived in Leicester for 16 years and everyone said “me duck”. Hubby is a Leicester lad and we often mess about and call each other “duck”.

My friend’s husband is from Lincs and always calls women “Duckie”.

In this part of the country just about every shop assistant says “thank you darlin’”. Nobody is the slightest bit offended.

Here in South Wales you might be called “chicks”.

I’m in Canada, and I honestly can’t remember ‘darling’ or ‘love’ being used casually, among strangers. ‘Hon’ seems to be the term I’ve heard, but interestingly, it’s exclusively women who use it. Or ‘dear’. But again, I can only remember women using it as a casual term.

Personally, if a stranger called me darling or love, I’d kindly ask them not to, if it were going to be a potentially ongoing thing. Ex: if it was someone in a store, I’d probably ignore it. If it was somebody id be bumping into on the regular (at a kid activity or something) I’d ask that they please didn’t.

A friend of mine always call me sweets, which is a bit weird but I’m used to it! She is the same to everyone. Another friend - female - calls everyone darling. Why are some people getting their knickers in such a knot? Surely a lot of this is due to regional differences?

I’m happy to be called Pet, Darling, Madam etc

What I don’t like is the obligatory ‘Have a nice/lovely day’ said to me in most shops now. I regularly explain to assistants that for people of my age having a nice day could be impossible for those who may be experiencing illness for themselves or family members, hospital visits, bereavement, loneliness etc

I hope your comment wasn't aimed at me Monica, when I asked should I desist? I was talking about myself and would people be offended at my use of pet.

My mother had Alzheimer's and my father vascular dementia, both could behave inappropriately at times. My mother had always been a prude, but I was horrified at some of the comments she would make to family and nursing staff.
Therefore I fully understand how difficult can be.

I dont particularly like being called darling, however I am not so self obsessed as to not understand that people with certain types of disability and health conditions may say and do things considered 'inappropriate'. I always find it interesting where those with disabilities and in particular those who arent neurotypical feature in identity politics. The answer is they rarely feature in terms of empathy, and adaptations within society.

Being called darling seems very mild (although it may embarrass sankev) compared to the goings on around here. Most of us do take age into account and won't take offence.

Two local elderly gents, both married, with maybe the start of dementia, maybe MH problems - or just badly behaved -will grab, touch inappropriately or try to kiss any woman who doesn't make a swift escape - all done with very lewd comments. Were they always like this - surely not? It's like 'Last of the Summer wine' on speed.

Then there's a younger chap with complex disabilities who sometimes wanders from his parental home - completely stark naked. Therefore, it's best to wear running shoes and be hyper aware of who's about!

You cannot ask someone who has cognitive problems to understand the nuances of polite and acceptable language anymore than you can with someone with learning disabilities or a very young child. They do not have the mental capacity to understand - or, for the cognitively impaired, the ability to remember if they have been told before.

The poster who thinks that the person concerned should just 'cease and desist' clearly has no experience of being with people who are cognitively impaired, no matter what the cause.

I looked after an elderly relative, who when fully rational was the soul of courtesy and lived in a world where senstivity to other people was essential, but when she declined into dementia, she started using language, acceptable in her youth but not acceptable now, while still being, in every other way, her courteous self. But her carers were trained to care for people with dementia, and would always reassure me, as I apologised for her, that they understood what was happeneing and did not take offence at her occasionally inappropiate language

Context is everything in these situations. There's a big difference between an elderly man saying this in an innocuous way and someone being very leering or patronising when using the term. As FC said, it all depends on how it is intended. I wouldn't have been offended in the situation outlined by the OP, but I have been in the past when called 'darling' or similar when it was clearly patronising, condescending or worse.