Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

Yes here too HVDY I really don’t mind being called duck. In my time I have been darling, luv, hen, pet, the only one I don’t like is dear as it makes me feel old.

I have a friend, however, who gets really upset about it and will say ‘ I am not your darling’.
Personally I don’t see the problem.

He sounds like a lovely man OP and the problem lies with those who would take offence and not with your DH.
Darling, love, my dear , hen, ducks etc have long been accepted as friendly and in no way offensive. Especially among the older generation.
As for asking how many men would use similar expression
Would a man say darling to another guy
Well yes, how often do we hear “Mate”, “Bro”, from one end of the social scale to “my dear chap” (very “Yes Minister) at the other.
Don’t apologise for him, there is no need and I would find that demeaning. Be glad he is friendly and affectionate - goodness knows there are enough Victor Meldrews in the world, we don’t need more!

Duck was my Nans greeting too Fanny she was from Leicestershire I d give a lot to hear her say ‘come here me duck’ again

In fairness it seems only one or two people on here are into this stiff collar, take offence at everything, mode
Poor them what a narrow dull place their world must be

Calling someone darling is offensive?
Very much a nono?
Oh dear.

I call just about everyone, including DH pet. Should I desist in case I offend anyone?

FannyCornforth

Cognitive issues or not, I still can’t see the problem with darling per se
It’s how it is intended, surely?
Any word can be used offensively if it’s intended, eg with the wrong emphasis, cadence, body language etc

I agree. In my home town, the usual term is "duck". Men and women use it.

I think I should issue a health warning to the very thin-skinned minority on here whose civil rights appear to be so threatened by an elderly man referring to them as "darling"... Visit my home territory of Tyneside, and regardless of age, gender, or anything else, Geordies are likely to address you as "pet". Do I sense further outrage? Get over yourself...

Funny story
When I was first married my husband used to call me ‘pet’ we had a group of US friends, who all called me Pet too as they thought that was my name 😂😂😂

I loved it when we lived in Newcastle and everyone was “pet”.
It always came across as warm and genuine.

Good grief, some on here would have a hard time living where I do where everyone is "pet".
People are so easily offended these days 🤨

Looks can be much much sleezier than an elderly man calling me darling
Just let’s lighten up the world is becoming a miserable tight lipped pearl clutching overly Victorian place call me darling, duck, love, hun whatever you like as long as you smile and talk to me
Take no notice Sankev your husband sounds a nice man only be concerned if he starts acting inappropriately if he’s just doing what he’s always done don’t give it a second thought

I have no cognitive difficulties... in my little town we don't have much wokeness thankfully, we still greet each other with, luv, petal, my word is morning flower !! Male or female, nobody bats an eyelid.

Calendargirl

I don’t often agree with you Volver, but I think your previous post is spot on. 👏👏

👍

FannyCornforth

Cognitive issues or not, I still can’t see the problem with darling per se
It’s how it is intended, surely?
Any word can be used offensively if it’s intended, eg with the wrong emphasis, cadence, body language etc

I agree Fanny.

It never fails to surprise me, regarding the lack of empathy from some posters on GN.

I don’t often agree with you Volver, but I think your previous post is spot on. 👏👏

Anyway, it’s refreshing to see that the vast majority of us on this thread are being sensible and understanding

I was born with a name and I expect people to use it

But people who don’t know you won’t know your name.

🤷‍♀️

I’m not offended if a till operator at Tesco calls me ‘love’, or if the chap at the garage addresses me as ‘darling’, so long as it’s just a greeting and not any unnecessary undertones.

So many people seem to look for offence in every single activity nowadays.

I think this "woke" world will be to your benefit, really. When we were young there was no tolerance for people who behaved "differently"; we laughed at people who acted differently, we tutted at children having tantrums in supermarkets, etc. Now a lot more people understand that other people's behaviour can be due to many different causes that they can do nothing about.

If a young man called me darling, if think he was patronising. If an old man did, I'd probably not even notice.

You mention he does and says other things, so if you feel he has crossed a line with someone, tell them why he is that way and explain to him that he mustn't say things like that, they upset people. But don't worry about it!

Don't worry about the "wokeness", which is nothing to do with the situation.

Cognitive issues or not, I still can’t see the problem with darling per se
It’s how it is intended, surely?
Any word can be used offensively if it’s intended, eg with the wrong emphasis, cadence, body language etc

Perhaps the world should lighten up a bit, and make allowances for people who may have some cognitive difficulties. It's called empathy... sadly lacking in a couple of posts here.

Hithere

Your rights cannot infringe mine, empathy or not

Being called "darling" is very much a nono

No it isn’t

Hithere you are so blooming black and white
It’s about context if an elderly man call’s someone darling (because he always has) in passing it’s really not something to jump up and down about unless it is accompanied by something sleazy like an arm rub or hand hold…. It’s a word
Not a day goes by without a shop assistant of any age calling me hun can’t stand it but am I going to make a fuss no of course not it was meant nicely
wyllow but is it really a problem or is she worried about society deeming it a problem
Your husband isn't doing anything wrong, society has just left him behind in it’s need to take offence, if he’s the lovely gent you say he is and it’s something he’s always done and as you say others of his generation do, then I d not worry too much unless it gets worse sankev
There’s a lot in this world to worry about a ‘darling’ here and there from a nice elderly gent isn’t anything to get upset over

It's often a very local thing about what's appropriate. In my city the local men sometimes call each other "luv", and definitely to women.

Grams2five maybe with "Darling" its the way that it's said? ...the difference between very casual and on the other hand somewhat intimate.

The point is that it is a problem for the O/P as it keeps happening.

If it is like that there and so full of judgemental virtue signallers I would not want to visit again .

I can’t imagine being offended at darling. Imagine having so few real
Problems to worry about.