F’N Sick husband

If this is for real, and not just clickbait, stop pandering to him and start living your own life. You appear to have originally decided that divorce was not financially viable, although you now appear to be moving the goalposts, and have worked out that you could in fact support yourself. Either way, there's nothing to stop you from, in effect, living a separate life in the same house. Many do. Alternatively, give him the divorce that he's already expressed an interest in, and get on with living your life your own way.

What does F'N mean?

This is a strange thread.

Is this for real?

I have supported him through 2 cancers
Presumably he didn't have cancer with the sole intention of annoying you

Actually after doing a few sums Both divorce or widowhood would present me with no problems. So how much shit should I tolerate. Thank god I worked and studied hard when I was young. While my friends were partying I was planning for the future. That did mean I never took out a lone and lived with the most hoendous red nylon carpet for years. Other people plot their own path through life. I am appreciative that my early life now gives e freedom of choice.

Willow3. Totally perceptive of you and you summed it up exactly.

Thank you ladies. I need lto vent and listen to some advise. A group I belong to has a month long list of events. I am going to sign up for all of them and hope that my husband can fend for himself while I do that. A few friends will think I am being really selfish. At the end of the day I am so only accountable to me. Thank you all x

If divorce isn’t the answer then I’d certainly stop pussyfooting around him , let him stand on his own two feet , you’re his wife not his mother! Get a life for yourself , spoil yourself , have fun , and let him sit back , elderly, infirm and doing nothing …by himself !

You ask advice and have been given a few suggestions. That you appear not to be interested in you don’t seem to know what you want.

You say he already suggested a divorce - so why do you say it isnt the answer? given that you have the finances for it? Or was it just a gambit to keep you under his thumb meeting his needs but not vice-versa? or you still love him but are just very fed up?

Well, you could try stopping "administering" to him. Cook a meal for you: dont make his bed or change and wash sheets, and so on, see what happens.

What on earth …

Counselling might be an option?

Thanks but I don’t think divorce is the answer. He has a company pension and I have a company pension. That means financial security for each of us in our old age (ie anytime now).

Go and see a solicitor and talk through the practical problems of divorce. Sit down and plan it, think about finances, housing etc etc. Then when it is all clear in your mind what you are going to do and how you are going to do it. Go ahead and do it.

Aggie. I love your response but how do I get from being a 50s wife. 60s free love. And modern woman. That is a list of pre condioning to overcome

Have a break[2nd time I have said that this evening]. And his family help?

For better or worse
For richer or poore
In sickness and health
Till death do us part.
Utter rubbish!! Get rid of him now …

Thanks but we share a front door. Good idea but it would need to go through the forts and talk a while. Tennants in common.

Shove him out the door and lock it