F’N Sick husband

Shove him out the door and lock it

Thanks but we share a front door. Good idea but it would need to go through the forts and talk a while. Tennants in common.

For better or worse
For richer or poore
In sickness and health
Till death do us part.
Utter rubbish!! Get rid of him now …

Have a break[2nd time I have said that this evening]. And his family help?

Aggie. I love your response but how do I get from being a 50s wife. 60s free love. And modern woman. That is a list of pre condioning to overcome

Go and see a solicitor and talk through the practical problems of divorce. Sit down and plan it, think about finances, housing etc etc. Then when it is all clear in your mind what you are going to do and how you are going to do it. Go ahead and do it.

Thanks but I don’t think divorce is the answer. He has a company pension and I have a company pension. That means financial security for each of us in our old age (ie anytime now).

Counselling might be an option?

What on earth …

You say he already suggested a divorce - so why do you say it isnt the answer? given that you have the finances for it? Or was it just a gambit to keep you under his thumb meeting his needs but not vice-versa? or you still love him but are just very fed up?

Well, you could try stopping "administering" to him. Cook a meal for you: dont make his bed or change and wash sheets, and so on, see what happens.

You ask advice and have been given a few suggestions. That you appear not to be interested in you don’t seem to know what you want.

If divorce isn’t the answer then I’d certainly stop pussyfooting around him , let him stand on his own two feet , you’re his wife not his mother! Get a life for yourself , spoil yourself , have fun , and let him sit back , elderly, infirm and doing nothing …by himself !

Thank you ladies. I need lto vent and listen to some advise. A group I belong to has a month long list of events. I am going to sign up for all of them and hope that my husband can fend for himself while I do that. A few friends will think I am being really selfish. At the end of the day I am so only accountable to me. Thank you all x

Willow3. Totally perceptive of you and you summed it up exactly.

Actually after doing a few sums Both divorce or widowhood would present me with no problems. So how much shit should I tolerate. Thank god I worked and studied hard when I was young. While my friends were partying I was planning for the future. That did mean I never took out a lone and lived with the most hoendous red nylon carpet for years. Other people plot their own path through life. I am appreciative that my early life now gives e freedom of choice.

Is this for real?

I have supported him through 2 cancers
Presumably he didn't have cancer with the sole intention of annoying you

What does F'N mean?

This is a strange thread.

If this is for real, and not just clickbait, stop pandering to him and start living your own life. You appear to have originally decided that divorce was not financially viable, although you now appear to be moving the goalposts, and have worked out that you could in fact support yourself. Either way, there's nothing to stop you from, in effect, living a separate life in the same house. Many do. Alternatively, give him the divorce that he's already expressed an interest in, and get on with living your life your own way.

If you loved him enough you would care for him.
You clearly don’t so leave.

You're thinking of leaving him.

If you know that he won't look after you if you seriously need it, and if you don't want to do the same for him, then now is the time to go before it becomes almost impossible.

I think it’s him who needs to leave you.

To be fair I think there is, not unreasonable resentment that after the OP has nursed her husband through 2 serious illnesses, the moment she gets ill he starts talking of divorce.

It could be just panic, some people, mainly men, but including some women go into deep distress when faced with seeing someone they love suffering and not being able to do anything to put everything right. When my sister was on life support, before donating organs for transplant, we rushed back from holiday, to see her. In her room, two members of the family stood white faced at the back of the room, pressing themselves against the wall, as if to push through it, while two of us stood close to my dear sister and were happy to touch and talk to her she was still 'breathing' from the machine and warm. it wasn't that those against the wall didn't care -- they did, but they were overwhelmed with distress.

Mind you others are just selfish and do not want to care for someone, but expect others to look after them.

Kitty
f%-£&*g. 😉
I think there’s too much sherbet being imbibed. 😉

kittylester

What does F'N mean?

This is a strange thread.

Kitty F*****ng is the term you are wondering about,not a nice way to describe your husband at all.
Its my late darling husbands birthday tomorrow and I wish he was here for me to moan about some people don't know how fortunate they are.