Do you or anyone you know “enjoy” poor health?

I think many old people dread the thought of dying, and somehow think that by popping to the GP with every ache and pain will somehow grant them eternal life.

I can understand that. But something will get all of us in the end, be it old age, cancer, heart, stroke…..

My mother was a prime example of someone who 'enjoyed' ill health. She was never happier than when she had a doctors appointment and ever since I was a child I was told 'Mummy is not well you must be good and not upset her'. She went through a variety of illnesses and investigations and when to her great pleasure she got a diagnosis of RA in her 50s which admitted was painful and limiting but she waded in with all guns blazing. She was now officially an invalid and therefore could not do anything. To cut a long story short she painted herself into a corner by refusing to cooperate with medical advice but still constantly demanding appointments and ever more treatments. I was in the middle of a very demanding career when she rang me constantly at work in a little feeble voice to say she had another 'turn' that day. Weekends were spent going to see her doing jobs and trying to coax her out for a little walk or a drive in the country. This sounds bad and I sound unsympathetic but its actually a much longer story of narcissism and and emotional abuse. As a result I do everything I can to not talk with my family about my problems and make sure I do everything possible to prevent further problems with my health as I know how harmful and unfair it can be on your family.

I have a relative who lives in another country. She is a great letter writer (she doesn't use the internet) and last Christmas she wrote me a six page letter and it regaled every illness, treatment and outcome of her family's, neighbours' and colleagues' conditions. Not a word about what she was doing, where she was going or any general stuff, just all about illness.

My mother ……. however, she is 91 so perhaps I should be a bit more sympathetic, but I am so fed up of taking her to never ending medical appointments where she is given medication and stops taking it after one day as ‘it made me feel unwell/dizzy/constipated’ .

Sadly there are some folk who take on the “sick role” with great ease. Most of us have at least one person like that in our family or friendship circle, it can be very wearing!

And sadly they take up so much time and energy from the NHS, and cost a fortune too.

pascal30

why don't these people just see a counsellor then they can have all the attention they need..

I don’t think they recognise their need to.
I think some may be quite unhappy, and talking about their “illnesses” may be an outlet for them, as well as receiving attention from others.

why don't these people just see a counsellor then they can have all the attention they need..

I have a friend who is always at the doctors, she even goes with coughs and colds which I find annoying. She is quite an anxious person so along with her other friends I bite my lip & try and make allowances. I’m sure the doctor must dread her walking through the door, she seems to be positively annoyed when he can’t find anything much wrong or refuses to prescribe antibiotics. I think she will probably out live us all.
Listening to people moaning about minor health issues is hard when you have lost loved ones to cancer and seen them dealing with harsh treatments without complaint, it puts the trivial things that some people moan about into perspective.

Foxy ‘The organ recital’ !
That’s fab, I’m nicking that
(mind you, I do a fair bit of it myself)

Silvergirl

These “worried well” who attend the doctor regularly seem to treat it as part of there social life. I think doctors should be actively discouraging them because people who really need to see a doctor can’t get an appointment.

Yes, this is the cause of the difficulties for people trying to get an appointment, I’m sure of it.
My mother often focused on her health problems, and had a tendency to exaggerate them.

Georgesgran

My best friend, who is younger than me has either hypochondria or Munchausens.
I’ve written about her before and her insistence on all manner of tests which all come back as ‘unremarkable’, but she’s never convinced. When she moved house, I hoped her new GP would treat the anxiety, but like her former GP, he seems happy to go along with her demands.
She also attends funerals of people she barely knows - again I think to gain the sympathy of others for her loss.
Having said this, I love her to bits, but it can be frustrating!

You're describing one of my relations. They have been like it since they were young. my father used to joke they should book their next appointment when there. In their mid 40's they managed to get themselves hospitalised and are supposed to have a shunt in their brain, it must be blocked with booze they are never sober. Any funeral they know of they attend. Try to say you are ill and the phone goes down.
I have also taught a poor child whose parent had Munchhausend by proxy . The child was so plump they had to sit on a chair to put clothes on and was so fat you could not see if it was a girl or boy. They missed at least a day each week 'ill'.

I used to know someone who was always having tests and scans. Her brother told me once that she must be the healthiest woman in the country as she had had every part of her body scanned tested and examined. No disease was ever found.

As long as I can remember, right back to being a very young child, my mother "enjoyed" ill health. Looking back I am sure she suffered from munchausen syndrome.

She revelled in the attention of doctors, nurses and anyone who would buzz around her. When she was expecting to be admitted to hospital she would sit by the phone and ring and ring and ring until you answered so she could tell you the entire saga. Then when she came home there was another episode.

I cannot recall a day out, birthday, family or christmas get together that my mother did not have one of her "wobblers" as we called them. Now I realise they were panic attacks.

The sinister thing about all this is that I was constantly admonished to "be a good girl" and "be quiet" or told I had done something to "make your mum poorly". After my sister was born it was a lot worse because I must not "wake baby and upset mum."

The result of this kind of upbringing where we were treading on eggshells is that I have very little time or compassion for illness, especially my own. I HATE having to see doctors or go to hospitals or to think Im living life through an illness. My sister is very much the same and does not go to a GP unless she absolutely has to.

annsixty - oh, yes, my mother was always delicate and poorly (in her own estimation) and it was her specialist subject. She really did enjoy all the attention it raised. In fact, she was as strong as an ox, but mentally unwell.

My friend (with suspected autism, ADHD and dyslexia) has health phobia, where every little ache needs hospital investigation, every bite eaten is evaluated for it's health benefits - and a biscuit or chocolate causes severe guilt and feelings of failure. Her anxiety is problematic and can't be resolved, unfortunately. No, she doesn't 'enjoy' it, it's taken over her life.

Worst for it was my Mother. No one ever had a bleed, it was a haemorrhage. Her favourite activity was sitting with a medical dictionary looking up symptoms. She would have loved the Internet!.

Yes, I always say ‘fine’ but am careful who I ask!

My (former hospital sister) mother taught me that the response to “how are you?” was “fine, thank you. How are you?” though these days I am careful who I ask that question in case they want to tell me in detail.

All I will say is 'yes' I do!

I will shut up about my knees 🙂

But they are giving me gyp!

HPQ 😂😂

It's interesting to note, that when listening to someone who 'enjoys' ill health, they are always seen by 'the top man' the most senior consultant.

Many years ago, I worked with a lovely man who did take his health terribly seriously and was prone to sharing details. He had a painful ingrown toenail and if anyone asked about it, he would remove his shoe and sock to show them. When he returned from surgery for haemorrhoids, the same secretary warned us about asking how he was........

Many years ago, a work colleague of mine was airlifted from a cross channel ferry with (and I quote) "my stomach was going into spasm, and I felt as though I was dying".
Helicopter to hospital, where she was examined, given a very fizzy drink, burped for half an hour, and was released!
She was the biggest hypochondriac ever put on this earth!

I think most of us will know someone who falls into this category, or indeed perhaps we do ourselves 😩

Many of us have health problems as we age, but don’t necessarily take pleasure in sharing them with all and sundry.
It’s easy to be critical of those who do and are frequent users of health services for trivia, “Heart sink patients” a medical (disrespectful) term!

I try to feel sympathy, although irritated at times, because I think some need the attention which they are lacking in every day life. Some have real health phobias (fear of death for example). Sometimes health anxiety may stem from childhood experience and upbringing. I don’t think often it is within a person’s control, unless they recognise it as problematic and seek help.

I have a once very close friend who lives for being ill.
On holiday as two families one year I was ill and undergoing treatment, I had kept it quiet but as I had a “ bit of a do” she found out.
She ended up in hospital having top trumped my kidney problem with a suspected heart attack.

We were left looking after their children whilst her husband stayed with her.
She was discharged after 3 days with a big bill and a blood pressure monitor.

She pulled the stunt 1 more time, we have never been away with them since.