Watching a family disintegrate

I don’t have family apart from dh and 2 children so no one other than mother to grieve but always wanted a big family, probably the Waltons effect.
My friend is youngest of 10 , 7 have already died and she is counting down to her closest siblings all in their mid/late 70s. It is hard, but inevitable.

Some relatives of mine were a large family and one by one cancer has got them and taken them quite early. Very sad. They were a handsome and confident bunch. Only a few left now but it made me realise that no matter how much swagger and looks you have in life, it is also important to get your head around getting old and trying to live a 'good' old age i.e. keep doing what you can and being gracious when you can't. You can't live on past glories when you need help.

My father was one of 11 and between them they had 18 children. Gradually, they have died, all but one, the youngest daughter, who is 95 this year. The next generation have been meeting up once a year for the last 10 years, but we too are now shrinking in numbers.

So far, it has been the youngest in families who have died, rather disconcerting. I am among the oldest, now in our 80s and we all know without saying that old age is going to start catching up with us soon.

I find myself thinking of the Forsyte Saga, and how families float apart generation by generation.

My own children and grandchildren have little or no extended family. My DH is an only child and, although I had two sisters neither had children, so my children grew up with 2 aunts and no further family.

My grandchildren are in the same situation. They are DS's children, but DD is childless and so is my DDiL's sister, so they too are growing up with no wider family than 2 aunts.

Both DC and DGC are conscious of this lack of wider family and DGC mention almost, enviously friends who have cousins and aunts and uncles. DGC have a close relationship with both aunts, who are good friends anyway, but one of my sisters died 30 years ago and the other lives 300 miles away, so my own children really only have each other.

I had 18 cousins. My daughters had 11 cousins, my grandchildren 0 cousins

It is interesting that 6 of the 8 children had children, but 5 of them had just 2 with one having only one. 2 of them never had children. None went on to have big families.

I am one of just 3 children but I have approx 24 cousins on one side and 9 on the other but they are all over the place though many of us are in contact thanks to Facebook.

I am the youngest of 9 children - the only one left .

My mum was youngest of 8 and 5 of the 8 did not have children; the 3 youngest had 2 children each.
CrazyH

Both mum and dad came from big families. Dad was the youngest of 8.. X4 girls x4 boys. All gone now.
I was no 14 out of of 16 Grandchildren.
But the family name is gone.
The girls had the boys, the boys had girls plus x2 boys, but both boys never married or had children.
Such a shame, unusual name as well.

My mum's next door neighbour had 6 children, 3 boys and 3 girls. All of the children are now in their 50s and 60s and very close to each other. They don't have one child between them. I do think that its quite unusual to have 6 children but not 1 grandchild

Very few big families on that scale these day anything more than 2/3 is considered large, I only had one child myself and my own 2 siblings had none and two. Our parents came from very large families 8 & 15 children.

In Britain, like other advanced countries, has a birth rate below replacement level because, now there is no sense of failure attached to not marrying and not having children, more people are choosing not to have children or have only one.

My children are in their 50s (unbelievable!!). One of them chose consciously to stay single and childless, the other married and had children, but in their late 30s.

I have noticed among their friends how many their age and older do not have children. In fact my DGC have been spoilt with attention from all these childless contemporaries of their parents, who take them on outings and to visit places and turn up for birthday parties. It benefits the children because they are confident and assured among adults, and socially assured as well, simply because there are so many adults in their lives who are interested in them - and feedback from school, shows this.