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This ‘love you!’ malarkey.

(125 Posts)
Daddima Wed 24-May-23 09:14:14

When did this become a ‘thing’? I had a phone call yesterday from a not terribly close friend, and she signed off witn ‘ love you!’ I’ve heard it quite often recently, so, tell me, is my transition to really grumpy old woman complete?

ExDancer Wed 24-May-23 10:52:05

Its akin to all this hugging - I blame Princess Diana smile - but during covid it really bothered me, there we were all masked up and sanitising our hands - and HUGGING each other!
Nuts!

maddyone Wed 24-May-23 10:53:49

It’s overuse renders it simply mindless.

Not when, as last night, I finished my video chat with my grandchildren in New Zealand with the words we love you and by blowing many kisses to them. I love them more than life itself and it pains me that they are so far away.

In fairness Aveline acknowledged that it’s okay when used to those you love.

Curtaintwitcher Wed 24-May-23 10:56:48

It is yet another Americanism that has been imported.

Wyllow3 Wed 24-May-23 10:57:00

"Take care" increased a lot around Covid times, on the phone for example to those who were taking risks working, and I think its really nice and still use it - when I mean it, when someone has gone the extra mile or really helped.

I'm also OK as a farewell at the gym for example, '"See you soon" is both realistic but with a bit of a personal touch as one doesn't say it to all.

Theexwife Wed 24-May-23 11:22:04

Friends put one on e-mail and some Grans do when you contact them privately

To those that put it on private emails to other grans, what do you put when it is to someone that you actually do love?

I agree that overuse makes the sentiment meaningless.

polnan Sat 27-May-23 11:07:56

Aren`t we supposed to love everyone? isn`t it better to be bright and cheerful rather than .... (giggling here)

undines Sat 27-May-23 11:13:56

Well, maybe in that moment she did love you! It's a nice thing to say - not keen on it bandied about loosely and without sincerity, but better than lots of things!

EMMYPEMMY Sat 27-May-23 11:15:17

Yes never use it
Do not have to tell pple constantly you love them

EMMYPEMMY Sat 27-May-23 11:16:10

Never use it
Love you
Please , really pple have to be told constantly

Norah Sat 27-May-23 11:16:35

We all say it to each other, end of phone calls, visits. Always have. Mum and Dad said 'I love you "name" to each of us multiple times a day - we did same with our children.

It's nice to choose to say 'I love you' - and mean it.

Cornishgreenhouse Sat 27-May-23 11:20:57

EMMYPEMMY as someone who can’t remember being told they were loved by one of my parents as a child; I made sure I told my children every day that they were and always end conversations with them (now grown up) with ‘love you lots’.
Maybe it loses its meaning if you don’t mean what you say, but as far as I am concerned I’d rather show much love than not enough. With the world in it’s sorry state, why are we do judgemental about something that’s positive and affirming? I just don’t get it?

VioletSky Sat 27-May-23 11:25:57

I don't have a lot of family

In some areas by choice but it was a small family anyway

What I have are some very close friends who are like family and we do love each other and the same with some close co-workers actually

But I don't think it needs to be as simple as "I am in love with you"... It can also mean, "I love how hard you work", "I love how you always listen" or "I love spending time with you"... Basically that you are a lovable person and appreciated

teachkate Sat 27-May-23 11:29:40

I must be honest I love everyone in my circle of friends and of course family. I would help and support them anyway that was necessary - so yes I do love them and only want the best for each and everyone of them 💗

Tenko Sat 27-May-23 11:41:10

Myself and DH say love you to our AC when ending a phone conversation. Or seeing them off on the train after a visit.
My parents were not very demonstrative and never said love you to us or hugged .
I’m a hugger and greet friends and family with a hug or a kiss on the cheek.
With close friends and family I put a kiss emoji and a kiss at the end of messages. Never with professional colleagues though .
I work in health care in a patient facing role and end the appointment with a take care or look after yourself . Especially since covid .
I see it as various term of endearment and with so much Shite in the world , why not . Xxx

DamaskRose Sat 27-May-23 11:57:06

Prefer “I love you” to “love you” but DGD always says “love you” when she’s leaving or ending a phone call and I’m pretty sure she means it and doesn’t say to many people so I’ll take that gladly. We don’t say it among the adults but we hug quite a lot!

Grannie314 Sat 27-May-23 12:02:00

For God's sake! I'll take all the love we can get these days. Could you suppose people might actually love you? Is that a bad thing?

SachaMac Sat 27-May-23 12:09:58

I agree you should always let the people you truly care about know that you love them but that’s different to adding ‘love you’ on to the end of every conversation or phone call with all & sundry which some people seem to do now.
As teenagers we wouldn’t have dreamt of saying ‘love you’ to our friends, we didn’t go in for hugging much either but times have changed and I suppose it’s good that people can show their emotions more openly.
Express your love to those you truly care about and mean it but adding ‘Love You’ flippantly on to the end of every conversation isn’t necessary and can come across as insincere.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 27-May-23 12:22:22

I originally noticed it years ago on American soaps said by children and parents to each other, where any British person would say, "Bye, see you later."

I would never use it myself and the few English speakers I talk to don't use it either.

I am quite happy with Bye-bye, or Bye for now in casual conversation, but to me mind love you is no worse than strangers using our given names without batting an eyelid.

VioletSky Sat 27-May-23 12:29:26

Wait

Strangers using your name is wrong?

Whenever a customer service operative gives me their name I always use it... I always get great customer service too

Twopence Sat 27-May-23 12:35:19

I have two very close friends I use it with and they to me but they are the only ones.

Bossyrossy Sat 27-May-23 12:38:17

I only sign off with “Love you” with my children and grand children. This started after 9/11 when we listened to those heart rendering last messages that were exchanged between loved ones. We never know when our time is up, so it’s important to share our love.

VenusDeVillendorf Sat 27-May-23 12:39:35

I love everyone!

You know people used to think they could “spoil” a baby by showing her affection and holding him. This lack of connection and attachment is totally wrong for little mammals.

I’m happy to give and receive love from anyone and everyone.
Love is to be shared.

We need connection and attachment to ourselves, to those in our close kin groups, to wider society, and world. Our very future depends on it.

Hey,
Love you xxx 💞

VioletSky Sat 27-May-23 12:41:40

Spread the love!

castlelass Sat 27-May-23 12:53:34

The free use of Love you on the phone bugs me too! Of course it’s fine to use with family but the flippant use of it to all and sundry seems to undermine the true meaning to me. Grumpy old woman club here I come 😂😂

henetha Sat 27-May-23 12:54:11

Yes, 'VS'... It's better to say love you than sod off...let's all be nice to each other 😁