This ‘love you!’ malarkey.

DH and I say it to each other all the time but I've never said it to anyone else.

I don’t say I love you to anyone. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love them but I just find it difficult to say. I said it to my late husband and I suppose I thought that it was only used in a romantic sense between two people who had fallen in love. I find I’m hugging and being hugged more now, especially by friends and family whom I don’t see on a regular basis.

I love all my family very much but I do feel the need to end conversations with "love you" To me actions speak lounder than words, I do all I can for all of them equally and I hope my family know I love them. Probably I am old fashioned - certainly old!!

When I was working we often had to speak to school staff. One day one of my colleagues accidentally ended a call with 'love you' 🤣

It's not a thing I ever say to people (except my grandsons), but there are a few times when I put it in writing. A dear young friend recently died after many years of illness and I frequently told her that I loved her when I wrote to her because I really did love her. It's not something I would just throw around.

I felt very uncomfortable being hugged for a long time. Not because I didn't want the hug but because I felt wrong in some way, like I didn't deserve hugs.

I don't see how hugging and expressions of love are ever a bad thing

But the opposite is also true and people show instead of saying...

I guess everyone should be allowed their own love language

All the love you! And love ya! Stuff is totally false unless said now and then to somebody who you really do love.Otherwise it’s like all the have a nice day stuff.
I never say either, my family know I love them to bits.It’s just another American import.

How is it an American import?

How horribly sour some of you sound! Glad we’re not friends, frankly.

Mutual am sure AmberSpyglass

Isn’t it an American-ism? If not where did it spring from? Have a nice day was def an American thing before it was used here.

It has become meaningless, said to almost everyone, like have a nice day, first heard it as a throw away by shop assistants in America. I say it to the ones I love and I mean it. My parents just never told us but I felt loved, knew I was in fact, but we didn’t talk of it, it’s better people especially men can show their
softer side and allowed to have emotions in stead of that stiff upper lip.

Oreo

All the love you! And love ya! Stuff is totally false unless said now and then to somebody who you really do love.Otherwise it’s like all the have a nice day stuff.
I never say either, my family know I love them to bits.It’s just another American import.

How do you know it’s all false?

You have no idea how people mean it. Many on this thread, myself included, stated we do say “love you” to those we love - and say it often.

How dare you call us all false.

I'm guessing it was a slip of the tongue, she probably says it to her kids/OH, and it just slipped out at the end of the call because she's got so used to saying it when she ends a call with them. It's happened to me a couple of times 🤗

BTW, I ALWAYS end my telephone conversations with my son and OH with 'Love you!', I believe that should anything terrible ever happen to either of us before we next speak, we all know the last thing I ever said to them was that I love them!

Today someone who had called in to a radio show said it as they rang off.
It was so inappropriate. They do not love the radio presenter. Meaningless use of meaningful words.

I see friends shaking hands,
Saying "How do you do?"
They're really saying, "I love you"......

Is it life imitating art?

Well I must be the grumpy one then.

I love you is far too precious to bandy around willy-nilly even amongst family.
I often say things that are specific - "I love the way you are always so patient with..." or "you are truly a lovely mum/dad/daughter/whatever " or "I love you for always making me laugh at myself".

I do not appreciate the rather meaningless "love you" at the end of a phone call as it totally devalues the very personal and special meaning that is loving of someone who you hold deeply in your heart. One of my boys does it and I do know he loves me a lot (and I would lay down my life for him) but it is as important a phrase as "goodbye" or "see you soon" at the end of a phonecall.

When he really means it, and when he says it with meaning it is different, appropriate to the moment, and totally heavy with the deep bonds of love.

You can love with all your heart and not keep saying this now over-used rather glib endearment. Once thrown about there is no-where to go.

I accept it's been normalised in some families.... I do not like it.

Say it to all my kids/grandparents and make a point of it. It was never said to me (or siblings) from my parents sadly. My mum said "I love you" to me recently, which was a (nice) shock! First time ever, I think. 🤔 She's not far off 100. Better late than never!

I mean grandkids!

We as a family don’t tell each other we love them, we just do.

I think the last time my DS said he loved me was after his wedding, as he was leaving to go on honeymoon, 20 years ago.

He said “Thanks for everything. I love you Mum”. And I said “I love you too”.

DH and I very rarely say anything like that. I once said “You never say you love me”. He looked at me and simply said “You know I do’.
And that’s true, words not needed, actions say it all.

My guess would be that as people use it to their nearest and dearest it becomes ingrained and habitual so they say it to others without thinking.

I say it to my ds, dd and dh because I do.

A neighbour asked if I had something she needed earlier

I did and I sent daughter with it because I'm having a duvet day

The return message was "tell your mum I love her"

It gave me the warm and fuzzies, how can that be a bad thing?

That's not the same thing VioletSky. It's the meaningless 'love you' at the end of a call. It's overuse has devalued the true meaning of the words.

I'm a hugger and a lover