Someone taking photographs when you don't know

I would have been pleased to have photos of myself and GD however, I would have asked that none of the photos with me in them were posted on Facebook or similar social media sites.

My family know how I feel about this and so far have been happy to respect my wishes.

I'm not photogenic and hate having my photo taken but it's a normal part of family life now.

However, the ones taken when you're absorbed in something else eg, watching someone open their presents, are often better because you're relaxed.

I do censor some taken of me, though!

Unreasonable, absolutely. I do hope you didn’t kick up a fuss. I don’t photograph well any more, but so what?

I hate having my photo taken (I should say because I hate the way I look), but my eldest son says the photos he takes are for the GDs to look back on in years to come . None get posted on Facebook or anywhere.

I have a photo of myself, aged two, standing in the garden with my doll held in front of me. The photo was for my father, then in the army in India. On the back of the photo my mother has written This is a photo of dolly, not M0nica that is how far back my dislike of being photographed goes, and nothing has changed since, except I usually try to hide behind something a bit larger than a rag doll.

However, in this situation, unless family members knew the OP did not want to be photographed, then she is both over reacting and being unreasonable.

Should read
"Not your DGD mother"

Why do you think it was unreasonable? Is it because you don't look good, do you not like having your photo taken? Or would you rather have a " posed" shot. I much prefer un-posed for shots the are more natural and I would love to have a copy of this type of photo given to me . In fact my DD have me one for mothers day. Or was it because it was your sons partner taking the photograph, who I am presuming is the DGD mother?

Are you actually objecting to the fact that the photos were taken or that they are likely to be shared with all and sundry on various social apps?

I’m totally struggling to understand the issue here. If you don’t want your photo taken then say so. Otherwise, it’s a lovely family moment for others to look back on. Thankfully we don’t distinguish between family members in our family, step or otherwise, that made this sound like a very personal gripe to me.

You are being unreasonable and it’s normal to take photographs of family birthdays and get togethers.

It’s on these ‘caught unawares’ photos that you see your sister or that particularly obnoxious aunt. It can be disconcerting especially the one where I was a reflection in a wedding car’s window and it looked like a ghostly vision of my long departed Mother!

Sorry but I agree with all the others on here it’s probably much more about recording your granddaughters love of her presents than about you Forget it you don’t have to ask permission in a family group I ve had some lovely photos as records of my times with my now grown up grandkids I don’t always look as good as I d perhaps like to but that’s life
Sorry but unnecessary to worry about and a bit unreasonable

Both

I would have asked for my own copy of the photo for me to keep too.

Both unreasonable and over reacting

Yes, generally speaking, taking pics w/o permission is not cool but

You were just in the background of an event taking place - you were not the birthday girl and the main reason why it was being photographed

If the bday girl said no pics and pics were being taken - not unreasonable, no means no

I hate when people take my pics

I know if that if I am in close proximity to the bride and groom in a wedding, bday party highlight (opening presents, blowing the candles, etc), etc - I move away or I take the risk
The pic is not about me - that's the difference

Its a bit unreasonable. I wish I had more meet ups and photos even if I look old and hate them. People love you too and as long as its family there you are, part of them all.

BUT

I think it is entirely reasonable to ask they not be made public if they have you in. Family will understand that.

I don't like having my photo taken and tend to grimace if asked to pose, the more natural ones when I am unawares are better for me.
I do object to where they end up being shown though, Facebook and other accounts and think the plethora of photos floating around is not right. I have been astounded when people seem to know where I have been and when asked where they got the information am told on Facebook.
I would just ask her who she intends to show them to and any that include you could she keep them off social media, please?

I dislike myself in photos. I ask not to be included. I duck and move away. However, for whatever reason, some photos are unavoidable.

You're allowed your preference, but others are allowed their preference as well. Perhaps ask to be cropped out?

I understand. Perhaps ask in advance, next time you see a camera?

If it had been a stranger or a member of the paparazzi taking the photos without permission you might have a case for invasion of privacy. Sounds familiar? However, as this took place exclusively within a family setting, on a family occasion, and it was your Son's partner who was taking the "happy snaps", I'm struggling to understand your reaction. So yes, in my opinion you're both over-reacting and being unreasonable.

biglouis, I agree with you about the prevalence of photo taking these days, but there's a big difference between the scenario you've described and a family member taking snaps at a family gathering. And believe me, I am almost phobic about having my photo taken - to the extent that my family joke if I ever went missing there would be no missing posters as there are literally no photos of me. In all our family photos, I am the one behind the camera, not in front of it. I know it's sad in a way, as once I'm gone, they won't have any photos of me...

A double edged sword in today's world. Some people don't want their photos taken for whatever reason. Some people put all their photos on FB. In the groups I belong to we are always asked if we mind having our photos taken and put in newsletters etc. Then you have the situation, especially in summer, where people take casual photos at fetes, fayres or parks and there are lots of people in them. It is a minefield. Personally, if I do photograph outside I try to take it at such an angle that no one is recognisable; if indoor I ask everyone before I take the photo and mention Facebook. Perhaps ask where they will be displayed and if you don't want your photo ending up in social media, then say so and why. We've had parents in my local town approach photographers in public who are taking innocent photos of an event and blaming them for photographing their children. I am not sure of the laws in our land but it is becoming a minefield.

Not her mother, I see, but the point is the same.

Yes. It’s entirely reasonable that the young woman’s mother wanted photos of her enjoying time with her grandmother, and it’s lovely she wanted you in her photos.

I think it’s lovely to have a photo with grandparents and grandchildren together. Was only today looking at my gd with my mum and it’s one to treasure.
I only had one gp and would have loved a photo of us together but there isn’t one.

The photos were recording your granddaughter's birthday, you were not the main focus but happened to be a part of it at that time. They will be a memory for her.

I prefer unposed photos even if I don't look my best in them, they are a record of what was actually going on.

Yes, in my opinion, you are being unreasonable and overreacting.

There is far too much of this taking photos of people without their permission. In some cases I would make it a criminal offence.

Going back a few years to when I was a tenant a snippy woman from the estate agent came to do an inspection and began taking photos without even having the courtesy to ask me. I immediately stopped her and told her she did not have my permission to take photos of my home and personal possessions. She tried to say it was standard practice. My nephew was there. He took the phone from her and deleted all the pictures before handing it back. I gave her permission to take pictures of a recent repair but insisted upon seeing them before she left to make sure they included nothing that was not absolutely necessary.

I wrote to the manager of the agency with a complaint and suggested that his staff needed further training in customer service. He apologised but also tried to suggest it was "standard practice" whereupon I threatened to report him to the regulatory body to which all estate agents must belong and to leave a series of bad reviews. I also informed him that the person in question would not be allowed in my home again.

People are far too snap happy with these so-called smart phones.