I wonder what it said?

Here's another gem :

The absence of a fitted kitchen is explained as
( The kitchen ) " has been finished as an exciting blank canvas giving the new owner the
opportunity to design their own interior fit - out . "

I'm so relieved .

Good one nanna8

Renovate or Detonate used to be a common one here for a dump.

Or rather - a French widow affords delightful prospects !

luluaugust -
I can imagine male tourists queuing in droves for that Tyrolean hotel offering bedrooms in which French widows
offer their charms !

Reminds me of Hoffnung "Every room has a French widow"

Tea towel hung over stove/oven = appalling dirty old oven.

I found out the hard way - when I moved in, there was a smell of gas and the gas man had to come round that night and seal the gas. Next day, still unpacked, new stove.

I'm so happy for them

“The bedrooms enjoy a fantastic view”

Am loving this thread. More please!

I laugh at estate agent speak :

One comes to mind ,this property allows the purchaser's imagine to come into play ."

I think that a bulldozer was the only option .

The other thing that drives me mad are newspaper headlines describing fans as raving or swooning or queuing in droves over /for some celebrity's dress .

Foxygloves 😂

"The parquet flooring in the hall leads us into the living room" ...
There's clever for you!

"A great feature of this property is its epic proportions"
Windsor? Buckingham Palace?
No, it's a three bedroomed bungalow with sitting room, kitchen and one bathroom.

"Coming out you are greeted by these private gardens"
Oh, hello, I could be your garden 😀 "I'm beautiful" (no, you're not)

kittylester
😂😂😂

We had an estate agent here who was very professional but, since his sad demise, it has been taken over by a chain and I just laugh when I see the agent on RightMove when he does the walkabout in the property.

I've avoided the video tours but perhaps I should watch them!

We need more people like Roy Brooke’

I loved the photographs my estate agent took of my house when I was selling it. It looked like the sort of house I'd always wanted to live in, so much better than it actually was.
Just found this
Situated at the bottom of the garden, an alarmed summer house with power and light.

Many moons ago, when we were house-hunting, the estate agent sent us details of a house which had a ‘bathroom with bath’ - yes, that was literally all it had! The garden was ‘natural’, which probably doesn’t need explaining! We didn’t buy it!

Then there are those homes which "benefit from parking space for three cars" and "enjoy the amenity of a beautifully landscaped garden".
Maybe the poor house is fed up with all those vehicles coming and going and who knows what it "enjoys"?

When the agent came to value our bungalow we said we had fifty trees in the garden he went out to count them. You are wrong he said. You have fifty one.
We sold privately in the end.

Because of the word lounge, I think it would be a Terry Thomas ”Well, hello there…”

When selling a house the estate agent described the kitchen as having a lovely cosy nuke (neuk). Suppose if the gas cooker blew up had it may have seemed like a nuclear explosion. I had to correct him.

Used to love Roy Brooks! Pity there’s nobody like him now.

Hate seeing bathrooms and toilets whete the toilet lid is still up! Also suitcases etc on top of wardrobes!

Wide angle interior photos are laughable. A small new build house near us looked huge on the estate agents site, but there is no way all those lovely spacious rooms would fit into that oversized garden shed. It took several years to sell.

“Sea peeps” gets me annoyed. Peeps at what??