Weddings of yesterday and today.

I find it horrifying the amount of money people spend on weddings thes days, but if that is their choice it's entirely up to them. Just don't moan that you can't afford to save for a house or whatever because you spent so much on the wedding. My wedding in 1969 was all on the cheap, my aunt made the dresses, her friend supplied the flowers, my sister's boyfriend's dad made my 3 tier wedding cake, my sister and my mum did all the catering and my dad's cousin had a posh car hire business so he supplied the cars. The reception was held in a local hall where my sister was learning ballroom dancing and we got it very cheaply and they supplied the bar at cost. Couldn't have been better really.

I've never been to a wedding reception where there wasn't a choice of menu. Usually wedding receptions here (Scotland) have a sit down meal immediately after the ceremony itself, and it continues with the evening reception, which usually includes guests who weren't at the ceremony itself and there's normally a buffet type of affair later in the evening.

I always said that people should have their wedding 10 years after they get married..

As has always been normal in Scottish weddings it lasted until 1 am when we drove to the next village for our wedding night

My daughter planned a registry office wedding on the quiet with only their parents present followed by a nice 5pm dinner for the 6 of us. Then maybe go to a pub for a few drinks. Word got out that they were getting married and they started getting texts from their many many friends asking them what pub they were going to. As it happened the date was a Friday night in December when every pub/venue in Dublin was going to be packed out with work do’s. They finally found a pub with a sort of balcony that they could rope off. Hardly any seating and over a hundred friends turned up. Finger food was provided and everyone had a great time. They had planned to have a big party next year near home but that’s shelved since so many came and brought ‘cards’.

15 years ago I attended a friend's d's wedding at a grade one listed country house. They paid £20,000 just for the exclusive use of the property! The food was a formal meal. Large size dinner plate with as much food to fit on a saucer! I put cheese and pickle sandwiches in my handbag, went for a walk round the garden and hid behind the hedge to eat them! The marriage didn't last. The most memorable wedding was at the registry office, followed by a disco and buffet at a working men's club. A relaxed atmosphere where everyone drank and danced the night away.

NotSpaghetti we had a choice of menu in 1975.Soup or Melon starters ,Steak Chasseur or chicken for mains ,peach melba or cheese .
Small hotel near Loch Lomond I also opted for round tables instead of the then long traditional ones where people sat in rows ,100 guests .All paid for by my parents as was everything except photographs we worked in a studio and 3 our workmates did a great job oh and OH's Aunt made our 3 tier cake

Blondiescot

I think some couples - and I'm honestly not generalising here - lost sight of the fact that a wedding is just one day. I know some who have spent an absolute fortune on a big flashy wedding, even getting themselves into mountains of debt to do so - only to split up a few years later. It's often all for show. My daughter's friend spent a fortune on her wedding and I remember my daughter saying at the time that she'd far rather have used that money as the deposit on a house.

This is exactly how I feel.

My wedding was tiny - dress from high street shop (navy blue and floaty) bouquet made by granny from garden flowers, cake also made by granny, reception in a room above a coffee shop, all done by teatime then off for a couple of days in Wales, borrowing groom’s boss’s car. No bridesmaid as married in registry office.

I married in December 1970 and wanted a simple posy of carnations.
The wedding date was fixed once we knew when we were completing on our first house. So quite quick - 4 weeks to arrange - but not for the “baby” reason which my mum later confessed she had feared.
I popped into the local florist to order my "simple posy of carnations needed in two weeks.” She gave me her price.
When I went to collect my posy, the price was different - higher.
I asked “Why because you quoted a different price when I ordered it?”
"Sorry, I thought it was for a funeral.”
I paid the lower price but I wonder if florists still charge different prices for weddings compared with funerals?

I find it difficult to understand why so much is spent on weddings. Most couples nowadays have lived together, established a home, some with children, yet they deem it necessary to have tens of thousands spent on a celebration, of what? They've already done what a wedding is all about. A simple ceremony would suffice in my opinion.

Maybe l am not posh enough but some years ago l went to a wedding near Green Park in London. l thought there would be a wedding breakfast but no. After the service we were ushered into a room where champagne ( and it was the real stuff ) and canapés were plentiful. A short speech and then a finger of cake. Order of service ensured that we knew that was the part we were invited to. Not having had breakfast in the expectation of a meal l was feeling quite giddy. We quickly thanked an official looking man because we were so concerned we may make a fool of ourselves. l don't think we were A list guests. It was soulless , very "proper" but for the life of us we cannot remember whose doo it was. We were working in London in a well known teaching hospital so it may have been the daughter or son of the consultants , on whose firm he was working for.
Contrast this to my sons wedding , met wife at school when she came from Germany to perfect her english. They had been to to 3 schools, 3 universities and worked in both England, Germany and Australia. They had friends from all these places so the venue had to be near an airport and be able to cater for 350 people. When the time came we knew very few of the guests but all but 5 came. We gave a contribution but to be fair they paid for the lions share. l had thought that if my son got married in Germany it would be in a dreamy Bavarian Castle but alas none could cater for such a crowd. Quite honestly if we had not gone l doubt we would have been missed.as they were so excited that all their friends came. l must admit the notes on here about the mother of the groom were very helpful as l did feel "low" after the wedding. My Dil is every thing you would want and they keep in regular contact but l feel l have lost a son rather than gained a daughter. The old adage is true

My son’s first wedding cost £32,000 I was horrified! Unfortunately it was all about the bride being the centre of attention and it lasted less than a year. He then met his now wonderful spouse. The bride made the cake. The dress cost very little and I made the bouquets. It cost £3000. They have now got 2 beautiful children and a wonderful life together. It’s not about the wedding a marriage is what you make it.
I recently heard that just to book a (stately) home for a wedding near us was no less than £80,000.

I am getting married in September, second time arounders, and appreciate that as it is our second marriage we don’t want the big event we did before. We are just having our closest family - just our children, grandchildren, my mother, our three sisters and two brothers in law and that’s it. Just a small wedding at the local town hall with a restaurant after. My dress this time is 10% of the cost of my one 30 years ago, and I am delighted with it! We have got the two granddaughters as little bridesmaids but again their little dresses are just £30 each from John Lewis! A friend is doing our flowers using local British flowers in season that won’t cost the Earth and another friend is doing a deal on the photography so again very very reasonable. I have found some things so much more reasonable than before. Whole budget about £1500!

And it isn’t about being cheap, it’s just not wasting money we don’t need to, and really delighted with the intimate feel of this time around.

The money spent on weddings is stupid amounts. My first wedding in 1976 was all arranged in a month. My dress and 3 bridesmaids all made by my sister. About 60 guests and a sit down meal at our local airport bar. Marriage lasted 14 years. My second wedding was at our local registry with 4 guests and now we've been together 32 years. I see a lot of wedding dresses now where the bride is nearly hanging out of her dress. I don't find it attractive at all well maybe that's just me.

My son and his now wife spent about £40000 on their wedding last September, they paid for it all themselves and we had a wonderful party, I felt beforehand that it was a bit over indulgent but we all had a such a good time I really couldn’t begrudge it

We married 51 years ago….fiancé said …big wedding or big honeymoon overseas . I’d never flown before so I said straight away ‘big Honeymoon’ so we married in registry office and just had family there and left for honeymoon at 1 in morning . No white dress….no bridesmaids….my dress cost £8 ( a weeks wage for me) from a frock shop in Oxford street …me and sis and mum went up to buy it….a floppy /hippy hat ….and still married after 51 years. More importantly we were first to save money for a deposit on own house after generations of both families in council houses….his parents did not approve ! “not for the likes of us “ was quoted quite a few times! Luckily I ignored them !

A friend spent a fortune on their wedding but didn't have any money left for any furniture for their house.

A grandson isn't married to his partner but we now have a lovely complementary great grand daughter

We had three different weddings for our children. Our oldest son got married in Mauritius because it was his wife’s second wedding and she naturally didn’t want a repeat of the first one. We gave them money as a wedding gift and they said it paid for the entire wedding. Our second son got married (civil ceremony) at Cowdry Park in the walled garden. It was gorgeous. The sun shone, the champagne flowed, and the speeches, six of them, were magnificent, and very amusing. We gave them the same amount of money we had given to our first son and they bought the champagne and a painting whilst they were on their honeymoon in San Francisco and Hawaii. When our daughter got married it was a very traditional affair. A church wedding, her beautiful dress that I loved buying for her, all the men suited and booted, a choir, the works, and a lovely reception at a country hotel. We paid for the wedding. And guess what, she’s the one who’s getting divorced. We saw some signs early on in their relationship, but we said nothing, as parents are supposed to do, but it’s failed after eleven years. I did tel, I’m not paying for another wedding should she marry again.

We married in 1969, church wedding with friends and family. My Mum and grandfather had a heck of a row in the morning as he refused to wear a tie. We all froze - it snowed - the black and white photos aren’t quite what we anticipated, the sky looks black and the snow on the tombstones looks spooky. Our reception was for family only in my parents sitting room. One friend still hasn’t forgiven us for not inviting her, has mentioned it regularly for 54 years. No bouquet for me, couldn’t afford the flowers, we did manage button holes while I settled for carrying a white bible. A three night honeymoon in London saw me returning home with shingles. Having no idea what it was I consulted a GP who explained and asked me seriously if there had been any recent stressful changes in my life. .

Our first home had three new items of furniture, our bed, white wood wardrobes which we painted and a fridge my Nan gave us. The rest of the furniture was mostly donated by family, the rest had been left in the little house we rented. We’d not have changed a thing.

I wonder sometimes if for some the wedding has become more important than being married

If DH and I had lived together beforehand we would never have got married. His father gave us 18 months on the wedding day to my face. His gran said I deserved a medal.
The hairdresser slept in, the photographer had no film in his camera, and the taxi forgot to turn up for us at the reception. DH had to break into his mother's house as he had forgotten where we were stayng and to top it all our best man a Catholic got caught up in an Orange Lodge parade with some other guests who were in the Lodge.
After getting covered in confetti from DH's umbrella on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh we realised we had done the right thing in choosing to live well away from relations.
It's 50 years hopefully soon, I can't say we don't disagree but nothing as much as when relatives were pulling the string.
Our niece had her little boy at her wedding and appears to be happy.
Horses for courses . I think it is better today, you please yourselves but I don't really like being asked if the present is money for a Caribean honeymoon.

I'm not a wedding fan in general, but one of the best I've ever been to was a Goth pagan wedding. It was a work colleague, and a group of us were invited - but most of those present were all their Goth friends, and without exception, they were the most lovely, welcoming and friendly wedding guests I've ever met.

DGN should be D Granddaughter of course.

My parents married at Brompton Oratory in the thirties with only their two best friends for witnesses.
I married in 1968 with a hired wedding dress, cost 11 guineas I think and a reception in the events room of the local pub. A friend of DH’s mum made the wedding cake and my future sister in law took the photos. We didn’t have a honeymoon but were shooed away from the reception just when we were enjoying ourselves and went to the Naval hiring that we’d been allotted.
DD1 married in our local church with a beautiful white dress bought by us, which was still packed away in her loft until very recently. They went off to a local hotel but realised next morning that they hadn’t taken any normal clothes with them and had to go down to breakfast in their wedding clothes. Then later left for a wet week in Cornwall.
DD2 married in Las Vegas but did have family party in a local hall a couple of months later.

DGN is away on a hen do at the moment in Malta. I told her that my first trip abroad was to Malta was when I was expecting her mother all those years ago.

Some of the best recent weddings (as a guest) have been simple and DIY.
Friends married in a beautiful formal garden under a splendid tree. They served bubbly and there followed a village hall reception. After a few speeches a banquet arrived from their nearby Indian Restaurant. Dancing both ceilidh and disco, followed. The bride, a photographer, took the wedding photos.

Sadly their marriage hasn't lasted very long although they are still friends.

Some lovely stories on here. Thanks for sharing.