Weddings of yesterday and today.

Married abroad in 1969. Only my Mum could afford to fly out but I had made friends in that country so had a few people. Due to religion my husbands family did not attend the church ceremony but some came to the ‘reception’ at a friend’s house. Husband had put his suit in to be dry cleaned but when he went to collect it the morning of the wedding the shop was closed! Luckily he had an old suit that he hastily ironed although it was at least 2 inches too short! My dress was high necked satin covered by a lace coat with a train. My younger daughter wore it for her wedding in 2008. All my children’s weddings were much more lavish and expensive but they will always have those memories of a glorious day.

I married in winter 1966. Birmingham Register Office followed by a simple lunch for close family & friends in a room above a pub. My wedding outfit (beige shift dress with matching coat over it) came from Rackhams. I had to borrow half the money for it from my mother until next pay day. Honeymoon (2 nights in a posh hotel in the Cotswolds) was generously paid for by my father-in-law.
We returned from honeymoon to two rented rooms (and shared bathroom) at the top of a big house near Alexandra Palace and saved like crazy to get a deposit to buy a maisonette in Enfield. It was the norm then and very doable despite high interest rates.

I feel desperately sorry for young people today, many of whom will never get on the "housing ladder". However, I get annoyed when I hear some of them talking about struggling to save up for years for a lavish wedding, a Caribbean honeymoon etc. The big difference in 1966 of course was that we could not have lived together before marriage so there was a strong incentive to book the wedding!

Husband and I married 8 years ago. Local registry office, 2 mates as witnesses. M and S velvet dress. Bottle of fizz at a local restaurant and out for an Italian that evening. Cost about £150.

My and my DH plan was to marry in the local registry office before we moved away due his job and hence live together. I come from a forces family and my Dad was deployed so couldn’t attend, neither could the remainder of my family, hence our decision. Our plan was to have a Church marriage blessing when everyone could attend. However, the decision was taken out of our hand by the MIL who insisted that no son of hers was getting married in a registry office. I was shy and timid back then so didn’t fight back. But we should just have left and done it our way. I never did get my special day wearing a dreamy wedding dress, but we did plan to renew our vows when I would have got my chance, but sadly DH passed away before his time. Still hurts even though it was years ago in 1974. Moral of the story is go with your gut, and don’t let others interfere.

I'm of the 'keep it simple and save cash for the big stuff' brigade.

All weddings should feel special to those involved but the process can turn lovely, reasonable people into rabid control monsters (my sister-in-law over her daughter's wedding), bankrupt the families (friends whose credit cards are still bulging a year later) and leave the guests feeling under pressure to fork out more than they want to for the (almost inevitable) 'special honeymoon.'

Growstuff, all praise to your daughter for her arrangements and can I wish her & her intended all happiness.

I find it rather strange when couples who already have a child (or even several) say they can't afford to get married. What they mean is that they haven't got a lot of money to spend on a big do. A big do is not really necessary IMHO. A wedding should be about a commitment between two people, whether it is in a church, a registry office, or on a beach in some exotic location. DH and I got married very quietly with just a few guests and have never regretted it. My parents were not happy but we held out for a simple do. Still together 50+ years later!

We had a small wedding (12 guests I think) as DH felt unable to cope with a large gathering. I made my wedding dress, had a borrowed veil, did my own hair and make-up. Church service followed by lovely meal in local hotel, FinL saw to the ordering and purchase of the cake. DH's parents didn't want anyone going back to their flat so everyone went home. It was 45 years ago - sadly DH died yesterday morning.

I am so very sorry Grandmama. May he rest in peace and may you find comfort in memories of your long life together. 💐

Aww, Grandmama, I am so sorry to hear that you have just lost your DH, may he rest in peace. Sending you heartfelt condolences, hoping and praying that you have loved ones around you, to comfort and support you at this sad time. Take care.💕🙏

My partner and I are 74 and 70 and have been together for 27 years. We’re getting married (just us) next month but not telling anybody yet so we don’t have too much input. We’ll have a blessing and a party later. My first wedding in 1969 was awful, pushed into it because my father was terrified that we were sleeping together ( which we were, but still…). It lasted 12 years, the longest years of my life.

Due to my family circumstances (plus my beatnick/hippy reluctance about marriage😁) we had a quiet church wedding in 1972 with just witnesses as DH wanted a Christian service. I wore a pale grey suit and just tied my long hair back in a
pony tail as if nothing special was happening 🙄
The vicar’s alcoholic wife produced a fine wedding breakfast in the vicarage and then we stepped into my late DHs open top car and drove through France and Italy.

I’ve changed my mind and would now like a white wedding! Not an over the top affair, but something within reason and tasteful. Can’t complain however as I have had such a lot of dressing up for opera and classical concerts.

I wish people wouldn’t go on about prices in the 50s, 60s and whenever, those prices mean nothing now.

Grandmama I’m so sorry 💐from one widow to another.

Joseann and Blondiescot
Looking back to Charles and Diana’s wedding, I think you’re right about the wedding fever that came out of that spectacle. I remember getting up at 4:00 AM to tune in and watch every minute of it on TV. I think for Americans it was the first real “fairy tale” wedding that was broadcast for viewing. And girls here went wild.

I was newly wedded but our marriage was a destination wedding - we got married on Maui in Hawaii. Just the two of us. We planned it through our church to have a private ceremony in the oldest (Methodist) church on the islands, located oceanfront. We did that to alleviate any interference from his ex-wife. His three older children were good with everything.

It was lovely and dreamy. Witnesses and organist was arranged by the minister there. I chucked the lovely street length chiffon number, heels and pearls I packed for a pair of white pants and a hand embroidered white tunic top from Marrakech and white sandals; groom wore white shirt and white pants too; we had pre-ordered the traditional wedding maile-leis. Extremely casual, private and memorable.

Came back and had a big party-reception for family, friends and co-workers a month later. Never one for big spectacles.
I’d do it all over again, exactly like that!
Wedding Cheers!
USA Gundy

Grandmama I am so sorry to read of your loss - my deepest sympathies to you. How stoic of you to post your lovely wedding memories for us in your time of sorrow. It’s good to open your heart to us. Thinking of you. 💐🥲

Grandmama I am holding you in my thoughts at this deeply sad time.

We got married in 1970. It was a registry office wedding and a reception for 50 people. I wasn't expecting to have that many, but almost all the distant relations we invited actually accepted! DH wore his best suit and I had a £7 dress from Bus Stop in Kensington. We all had a lovely lunch in a local Italian restaurant (I think it was about £1.50 a head) My hen night was my best friend coming round for a cup of tea the night before. DH went out with his dad and a friend and got paralytic - something he regretted the next morning!

DD's wedding was much the same. She bought a lovely dress in Monsoon for £90. DS and I produced a buffet lunch and I made the cake. The night club she had been working for gave her a room for the reception free of charge. She's been married for 26 years now so I don't think the economies did her marriage any harm.

We were married in 1967, I was a teenaged bride and we are still together. Our wedding wasn’t that spectacular, a Methodist church followed by a reception at a hotel. The very best wedding I have ever been to was one of my granddaughters. They got married on her Dad’s ( ex son in law) farm and had it all laid out with hay bales to sit on, a bar and order your own food from a mobile food cart they had organised. Lots of dancing and singing and a live band ( her Dad is a musician) . There were about 100 guests, extended fam and friends and she had also organised glamping tents for those staying overnight. The farm is in a very picturesque part of North Victoria so the pics were fabulous, particularly at sunset. Their small son was the pageboy and wore a matching outfit with his Dad in cream linen.

Grandmama. I’m so sorry .

Katcoffee - even Cliveden House is bookable for less than half that!
Where are you?

Grandmama My deepest sympathy.

My grandsons have recently gone to weddings held abroad which incurred some expense and now my daughter tells me that the “in thing” is to also have stag and hen do’s held abroad. It seems crazy to old fashioned me. We were married in church ( the one featured in the last episode of Call the Midwife when Trixie got married). It was 1960. We had a reception in a pub, a honeymoon in a bed and breakfast inBognor Regis. We returned to a rented semi-basement flat on Shepherd’s Bush Green which no longer exists. I bought my bridesmaids dresses from C &A and mine from a high street store in Oxford Street. I was on my own and it was the first one I tried on. Took it home ina big box and there it stayed until the day before the wedding when it was hung up. My mother had a job in a cake shop at the time and our cake was ordered from there. The icing was so hard we had great difficulty in cutting it. We were so young I was almost 19 and dh was 20 but that wasn’t unusual at the time.Children came along three years later. We had our 63rd anniversary a few weeks ago. Seems nonsense to spend thousands on a wedding unless you are really so well off that it can be afforded easily. Even then I would find better things to do with that amount of money. Also we have been to many weddings over the years and I can honestly say that I have enjoyed the simplest ones far more than the more elaborate ones.

After seeing a pic in a Brides magazine, I made an empire-line dress for my 1974 reg office wedding - hand sewn, I had no machine - and was quite pleased with it, but once I showed her, my mother said it was pretty but looked like an old-fashioned nightie. And to be fair, it wasn’t at all flattering to my (then) very slim figure.
The dress I eventually found, in a small local shop, was a much better choice.

However the hand-made dress did have its special outing after all - I joined dh in Oman soon after the wedding, and it wasn’t long before someone I knew vaguely came asking whether I possibly had anything she could borrow to wear for a VIP do at the palace with the Sultan - so it had to be long, long sleeves, etc.
Dress fitted the bill perfectly, and I also wore it at a similar but less grand do when 5 or 6 months pregnant.

Oh Grandmama, I am so sorry💐.

My daughter was a bridesmaid last week for her best uni friend; they’re both 31. The ceremony was outdoors somewhere on the coast in south Wales, the bridesmaids dresses all came from eBay and the beautiful wedding dress was £40 from Oxfam. They had done as much as possible themselves and it was the most beautiful day. Then off camping for a few days and hopefully a big holiday to Puerto Rica next year.
My daughter has a long term partner but doesn’t want to get married which is ok with me. I’m happy with whatever decisions my children make. My own parents were desperate to get me “settled” when I really wasn’t interested at all. But hey ho, married eventually and now divorced. I try not to be resentful as I now have three wonderful children. But it wasn’t easy.

So sorry for your loss Grandmama xx