Weddings of yesterday and today.

We had a small registry office wedding because the thought of the whole church wedding thing frightened the daylights out of me! As we were living and working in London we decided that it would be easier to get married there - whichever way we did it otherwise, one party or the other would have had to travel either South Wales or to South Yorkshire! We had our reception in the home of DH’s best friend and his wife. It didn’t cost a lot and everyone enjoyed it. That was fifty seven years ago! As for my own children, one has been with her partner for thirty years and they have no wish to marry. If and when they ever do decide to tie the knot - it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they pull two witnesses off the street and don’t tell anyone until it’s over and done with! The other, a firm believer in the married state, had a lovely, very lavish wedding that they paid for themselves. Horses for courses!

My daughter's fiance did the whole romantic proposal thing. They've been living together for seven years. They booked a weekend away in the Lake District and he went down on his knee and proposed at some beauty spot. Unfortunately, my daughter tripped on the way down from the hill they were on and broke a bone in her foot and had to wear a surgical boot for three months. Here's hoping she keeps out of trouble over the next two weeks!

My daughter's wedding was in our garden during Lockdown, with only six guests on a glorious summer day. I think it has been one of the nicest weddings I have ever been to, they were so happy to be together. I was sheilding, so had to keep away from everyone.

Her wedding was cancelled because it fell on the very first day of the first Lockdown. The money they saved went towards a house deposit.
My only sadness is her beautiful dress is still hanging in the wardrobe, she chose not to wear it and her dad would have loved to see her in it.

i like the sound of that, Hellogirl1.
esp the tea and sandwiches in front room.

We married at a very shabby registry office in 1963. After he had declared us married, the registrar leaned over the desk to shake hands, and said "Congratulations, that`ll be 7/6 please"!
Hubby wore his only suit that had been dry cleaned, along with a tie and socks borrowed from 2 of his brothers. My 2 piece suit cost £5, it was lemon, so was worn a lot afterwards. The "reception" was about 15 people (including bridal pair) in the front room of the house we were going to rent, cups of tea and sandwiches. Afterwards we caught the coach to Blackpool for a week`s honeymoon in his parents caravan.

I'll never forget my husband's very unromantic proposal. We had been living together for over a decade (too old for kids). We were in the city centre and had stopped for a coffee. He suddenly said, "How do you fancy getting married and going on a cruise for a honeymoon?" I said yes. He dragged me down the street there and then to book the cruise he had just seen in a travel agents window! It was departing in a couple of months time. We then booked the registry office and I had no intention of inviting any guests or even telling our families that we were getting married but about a fortnight beforehand we did tell our families and invited my mother, our brothers and sisters and their young children who weren't at school. A total of 12 I think. We then had a meal at a local pub. The cost of the day was negligable compared to most weddings and it was stress free. The honeymoon was fantastic and over fifteen years later we are still happily together. I just don't see the point in expensive weddings.

I have never liked big white weddings and by the time I was 8 I had decided that they emphatically were not for me. They have always seemed to me to be an incredible waste of money.

We married in 1968, 20 guests, a decent meal and the honeymoon delayed until the summer when we could have a beach holiday somewhere hot and sunny. My dress cost £5 from a little boutique on a local high street

Nothing has changed my mind since. DD decided not to marry at all, or live with anyone or have children.

DS & DDiL married first and had children later and had a lovely 'alternative' style low key wedding, with friends giving aspects of the wedding as presents, photography, catering, setting up and decorating the venue were gifts or a communal effort. The whole thing, including dress cost £5,000, which even in 2003 was not much.

My experience has been that the bigger and more expensive the wedding the shorter the marriage. For most of those I know whose marriages have lasted, the marriage was more important to them than the wedding, which were varied but low key and not expensive.

annsixty

This wedding is at a 5star hotel with a 2AA rosette restaurant.
Just jealous I wasn’t invited.

Years ago my cousin got married and the reception was at one of the most prestigious hotels in Edinburgh. We were all looking forward to a lavish reception - and it was, but for one thing. The bride's family were Baptists and it was a 'dry' reception - not even champagne to toast the happy couple. The food was good though.

This wedding is at a 5star hotel with a 2AA rosette restaurant.
Just jealous I wasn’t invited.

Costs may be 'relative', but you can still have a wedding without spending an absolute fortune. You don't need to spend tens of thousands on what is just the one day. I'm sure most couples could put that money to much better use. If they're loaded and have the money to spare, then fair enough - but I just don't see the sense in couples getting themselves up to the neck in credit card debts or loans just for the actual wedding itself.

One gripe my offspring always has at weddings she goes to is the standard of the food. She comes back and says that lots of money was spent on the bride's dress, the suits for groomsmen, dresses for the bridesmaids and cake but very little detail given to the main sit down menu which is often bland, poorly presented with no choice. I won't go to weddings anymore as all the show bores me.

I was married in a quick registry office service with just 4 guests - not even my parents. Glad I didnt waste much money on it as we were divorced within 3 years. I told my husband before we married I would never have children but he thought he could "make me over" into a little housewife and mother.

Yeah - when hell freezes over.

Not anyone's "fault" in particular.I should never have married anyone. I dont need anyone else to complete me.

My sister had a second (registry office) wedding in the 1980s in a nice white lace dress and flowerd headdress which I made. I was very crafty even then. Her marriage is still going.

When I read on Mumsnet of these so-called "destination" weddings, lavish hen parties and so on I know I would pass on all that and have the money towards a deposit or things for the home.

Many of the costs are relative I remember coughing when I brought my daughters wedding dress I think the dress and veil cost just under £1800.
My wedding dress was £100 which was a months salary if my daughter had brought her own dress the cost would have been only half a months salary for her.
As to the bride and groom having their children at their wedding this has changed from years ago when the wedding would be hastily planned if a child was on the way

sodapop

Talking about Nannies at weddings Norah my granddaughter a professional dog walker was employed for a weekend all expenses paid and a fee to look after the happy couple's dog.

How wonderful for your GD.

GrannyGravy13

growstuff

My daughter is getting married in two weeks. Thirty guests for a three course meal in a nice hotel outside Manchester. No hen or stag night and no evening party. My daughter is wearing a normal ivory dress (not an expensive wedding dress) and her mother (me) is making the cake.

I hope the day is just perfect growstuff and I am sure your cake will be scrummy 😋

Different people want different things and I try very hard not to judge others choices.

Thank you!

I'm not sure I'll be invited on "Bake Off"!

I got married in 1958 in a very dreary register office with just 4 guests.
The reception was coffee and biscuits on a train to the airport. We flew to Jersey for our honeymoon as we preferred to spend our savings on that rather than a posh wedding. We both had family issues that made it difficult to invite everyone.
But I now wish we had had a slightly better wedding. However I do think today's extravagances are over the top.

Talking about Nannies at weddings Norah my granddaughter a professional dog walker was employed for a weekend all expenses paid and a fee to look after the happy couple's dog.

1968 winter wedding. Mum crocheted my long wedding dress and a shorter version as my going away dress. Reception at my house. Sister in law cooked a whole salmon.. considered quite posh in our circle in those days. Local fishmonger let us down with the order so DH to be and father scoured North London to find one.
Was returning to university for new term (no honeymoon), but the train we were on was full of football supporters who kept pulling the emergency cord. Eventually police got on and took everyone’s names including ours, though they laughed as they did it!
I too find it strange to get married after having children. Surely to have children together you should be committed to the relationship.

GrannyGravy13

growstuff

My daughter is getting married in two weeks. Thirty guests for a three course meal in a nice hotel outside Manchester. No hen or stag night and no evening party. My daughter is wearing a normal ivory dress (not an expensive wedding dress) and her mother (me) is making the cake.

I hope the day is just perfect growstuff and I am sure your cake will be scrummy 😋

Different people want different things and I try very hard not to judge others choices.

I think we all have opinions on what is good/ bad, proper/improper - opinions without judging individuals.

Winter wedding. Soft white coat ( C&A) velvet pill box hat and a bunch of freesias. Reception above a very old pub. Cost? No idea as my parents paid. That was in 1965. Still with my DH who wore a slightly too large suit.

growstuff

My daughter is getting married in two weeks. Thirty guests for a three course meal in a nice hotel outside Manchester. No hen or stag night and no evening party. My daughter is wearing a normal ivory dress (not an expensive wedding dress) and her mother (me) is making the cake.

I hope the day is just perfect growstuff and I am sure your cake will be scrummy 😋

Different people want different things and I try very hard not to judge others choices.

My daughter is getting married in two weeks. Thirty guests for a three course meal in a nice hotel outside Manchester. No hen or stag night and no evening party. My daughter is wearing a normal ivory dress (not an expensive wedding dress) and her mother (me) is making the cake.

annsixty

The couple marrying today have hired a Nanny from 11am to 1am tomorrow to be at the wedding venue in charge of the baby.
I also don’t like to see big white weddings with their children as bridesmaids, page boys etc.
It wouldn’t have happened years ago but hey ho it does now and is totally normal.

I don't like big white weddings with children already born to the couple either. I wish people would revert back to waiting.

Our wedding probably cost about £50!

I was just thinking earlier about a sumptuous wedding that we went to last year. The young couple, relatives, both have professional jobs and had just bought their first small house together in London.
The wedding must have cost several 10s of thousands and was extremely enjoyable, but I wonder if considering the rise in mortgage costs, the money would have come in handy now.