An apple for the teacher.

Parents aren’t the enemy of teachers in this situation, they’re the enemy of each other. If parents want to do it, they feel they have the right.
The school where my sister is Office Manager banned gifts, saying a card, or a note or personal thanks was plenty if parents wished to do that.
What happened, according to her is that parents would slip into reception and say thinks like, “I know we’re not supposed to bring gifts, but could you just pass this to Mrs X from Matthew.” That left her and the office assistant in the difficult position of saying, “No I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
Which often left them receiving abuse and the head getting comments about unhelpful office staff.

Back to the subject of tipping yet again. I would have thought there were limits imposed on the value of gifts allowed.

I know it's not us and them with regard to parents I spent a large part of my career managing childrens home but the welfare of the child is paramount, there are very good reasons why other organisations involving children dont allow this. What is NHS guidance on this does anyone know.

Perhaps what schools should do if parents insist on trying to give gifts is say they will be donated to a local charity.
A brief "Mrs X thanks you for the gift which will be donated to xxxx". could be sent. Wonder how many parents would stop doing it then?

eazybee

I liked the presents that the children had chosen themselves because they spotted the things I liked: cats, book tokens, some kitchen utensils, a jar of cherries 'you like eating them', chocolate, likewise, coffee and coffee mugs, pens, 'you lose them', and desk tidy (nuff said). I still have a collection of sea-washed pieces of glass collected from the beach, because 'green is your favourite colour'.

It made me realise how closely they observe you.

With regard to presents, I and many other teachers, TAs and dinner ladies also gave the children a small gift each at Christmas, Easter and the end of term. I used to bake small cakes and biscuits, hence the 'you like cooking'.

I used to give my class a present at Christmas and a card to make sure everyone got one. and usually made baskets with them and I bought mini eggs at Easter. One summer I bought them all a cheap bucket and spade for the seaside some cried because they had never had them before.
One class I had I bought them all plastic bugs and snakes because they had a habit of putting spiders in my cupboard.
I doubt they would be pleased with such small things these days.

Glorianny

Perhaps what schools should do if parents insist on trying to give gifts is say they will be donated to a local charity.
A brief "Mrs X thanks you for the gift which will be donated to xxxx". could be sent. Wonder how many parents would stop doing it then?

I’d go for that, as long as OFSTED wasn’t due.
Even better, put it on the playground notice board and on the classroom windows, to save the teachers having to pass on an unwelcome message.
I’ve encountered the vindictiveness of some parents on FB, face to face, or on the anonymous parent opinion surveys.

Asaretired Primary School Teacher I would mention that Teachers regularly spend their own money on the chidren they teach. Including art materials, books items as part of a topic . I could go on .

Letters of thanks and gifts of trivial cost are fine but what is really needed is to pay teachers better, classroom requirements are fully funded and train parents to support teachers.

Off topic slightly but when my son was in the infants his class teacher left to turn work in a private school.
I was a school governor at the time and in one of the meetings the head was asked how Miss ..... was getting on at the private school.
Oh marvellously was the reply, but she does have to remember to re-apply her make up before the end of school bell rings as the parents collecting their children expect her to look well groomed !

I too feel it is an outdated practise that should be discontinued.

I distinctly remember as a child feeling ashamed that my end-of-term present to my form-mistress was obviously either homemade or cheaper than that which classmates with wealthier parents brought to school.

I was relieved when the custom did not continue into senior school, and I know my mother was too.

My teaching experience has been solely in Denmark, where school-teachers formerly ranked and were paid as civil servants. This is a thing of the past now, but the rule that those employed by the state may not refuse presents from members of the public, as this was seen as bribery still prevails.

We have in the last few years had incidents of bribery and corruption, mainly in large firms vying for big sales contracts, but none amongst teachers.

This is probably due to the fact that in the 1980s and 90s a large number of teachers complained to the authorities that they had been asked in all seriousness, usually by immigrant families from countries where the procedure is quite usual, how large a "present" would result in a child being given better marks than those justified by his or her class work or examination papers.

Obviously, once these kind of questions were asked by parents, teachers became very wary indeed of accepting more than the offer of one sweetie from a child.

Medical professionals are not allowed to receive gifts from those they have treated, police likewise may accept no gifts, home-helps and carers are likewise obliged to refuse gifts from clients, as obviously are customs officials, so why should the teaching profession form an exception?

I used to teach unemployed adults… I had one particularly difficult and LOUD student who honestly… gave me a headache.

On the day the course finished, I was given some lovely thank you cards.

And from my loud student… a box of ibuprofen with a note…

‘Sorry for being your constant headache! I know I’m loud!’

It really made me laugh

I labelled them my ‘anti loud meds’ and carried them around with me for years

My daughter organised a flower arrangement for her sons teacher who is going on maternity leave. I assume she collected from all the parents.

In secondary, this is rare. Lots of Christmas cards, but no end of year presents.

annsixty, we are (or were) trained professionals, doing a vital job - not just a hairdresser or delivery driver, expecting a tip!

At college level, we simply weren't allowed to accept any gifts (although I'd make an exception for shared 'staff' chocolates) and many would view the offers of such as insulting.

I don't know when end of year gifts began for primary schools - but it should stop. I did appreciate the little notes and cards from students, though, as it's so good to feel that I was valued and made a difference to their lives. They'd taken the time to write an expression of thanks - wonderful!

I taught an English exam course to a group of Romanian mums at a local primary school. At the end of the course, which they all passed, they presented me with two large home-baked cakes which were the most wonderful things ever. They reminded me so much of my grandma who came from a Polish background.

I still read the lovely thank you letters I received throughout my teaching career, they mean so much more to me than the end of year gifts. I especially love the one from the nine year old child who couldn’t read or write a word when they entered my class. It says “I don’t want you to live” A little threatening? No just his spelling of ‘leave’.

"An apple for the teacher".

1953 meaning = a piece of fruit.

2033 meaning = a laptop or smartphone.

Hetty58
I don't know when end of year gifts began for primary schools.
At school in the 1960s, my mum, along with lots of others, would give us a bunch of flowers or sometimes a box of chocolates to take in for the teacher at the end of the year.
I don’t know if it happened before then.

Should it stop? Yes. It’s getting out of hand,
but people don’t like being told what they must, or must not do. We learnt that during Covid.

Who are the people who should stop it?

The parents.

Schools can use a variety of strategies mentioned on here, but some parents like a challenge. Once one parent has succeeded others will follow.
Interestingly, very few, if any of the contributors to GransNet are young parents, or parents of primary school children and they are the ones who are currently giving the gifts.

Nonsense spending all this on a present for the teacher. Teachers are well paid (some may disagree) they are not volunteers. A letter giving examples of what they have done over and above what is expected. Being kind and being a good teacher is expected. Wine, chocolates, flowers are meaningless. A handmade card from the child is priceless.

Perhaps it would be better for parents to contribute cash to update libraries in school rather than award those employed by the school. Schools have many volunteers ie don’t earn a salary. Teachers are paid. No no no, it’s expected teachers give the best to our children, a card is sufficient by unnecessary.

LovelyLady
We know. Whether teachers are well paid or not is immaterial.

People like to give gifts.

Persuade the parents not the teachers.

Relative who is a teacher finds lots of chocolates etc hard to eat (they get distributed) but touched by any gift. Once a well known jeweller in the village where the school was, made her a silver bracelet. She treasured it. I think you can’t remove the human variability in these things, or the differences between state school communities, some quite well off. She has have some wonderfully eccentric gifts over the years, including a toaster, clearly some “repurposed” but the thought was there. Collections are often easier - if a fairly discrete envelope etc parents don’t feel so exposed - sign the card with no contribution or as you feel. Then at the end a real treat for the recipient.

Dearie.me.
Some people really can't bear the thoughts of teachers receiving gifts.
I started school in 1951 and my mother always sent in a gift, probably handkerchiefs or bath cubes, because she was grateful to the teacher for teaching me. Once I insisted on giving a teacher I didn't particularly like, a packet of fruit gums, but I think my mother smuggled in a suitable present.

It is a pity all these decriers of present-giving aren't in the classroom when their presents are opened, with expressions of intense delight on the face of the teacher, in front of the child, who actually enjoys giving the present.
And voluntary helpers are usually given presents by the teachers they help, and invited to a special concert and tea of thanks

I left primary in '72, and we were very hard up, but Mum gave me £1 to buy something...I picked a book token. My teacher seemmed pleased.

Years later I helped in his classroom as a parent helper. Then we became friends, and often shared meals along with my husband and his wife (we are all still friends now). He told me he eventually spent the token in about 2000, and it had lived on his bedside table until then.

I later became a teacher, in adult and special educational needs, and never received a present because I had a poster in my space saying 'Want to buy me a present? Please buy yourself a book'.

I taught in a private school for 19 years. We had to sign a form agreeing to refuse any gift over about £10 in value and to report offers of substantial gifts as part of our anti-bribary policy. In my opinion, this should be standard policy everywhere.

My daughter frequently receives messages from other parents urging her to contribute large sums to class collections. She has 4 children, 3 at school, and so refuses. A small gift is chosen by the children instead.