What is the point?

When I'm weller than the world seems more alive, Blondiescot as in flowers flower and birds sing and music speaks yes at Quaker meeting with others a sense of something like a compassionate spirit abroad - almost a whisper on the wind- if we humans could only be our best selves to ourselves and each other.

But first, you have to be well enough to access these things.

I was about to say the same, Wyllow3. There should be no shame in taking medication for depression and sorry if this offends anyone, but spirituality wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to me. Medication is what did. If believing in some god or spirits has helped anyone else, then that's fantastic. I'll keep taking the pills.

Share so much of what people have said. Meds and counselling have helped. Counselling may help you find your own path ahead.

What has helped me? Curiosity, if I'm not too depressed. Trying to keep contact with others and be interested in their lives.

Finding I am far from alone (thank you gransnet)

Yes I do have a sense of something spiritual if not too down expressed through Quaker fellowship.

(just a note on meds and say spirituality and being curious - for some you need meds to lift to the point where these are accessible, its not an either/or)

For me, it’s ALL about gratitude.
The fact that I still wake up each day, that I can still walk after falling down my stairs and fracturing my spine in two places four yrs ago, I see and hear well, I still have my family and friends, my dear kitten Dora, I drive everywhere, I survived Covid epidemic (never had it), I’m a cancer survivor after six years, I look back at my work and what I got out of it and achieved, my two marriages…

It’s enough. I’m happy. I can relax and take each day as a gift.
USA Gundy

Meds will not help to give meaning to life. This is about spirituality, I feel. Yes, I do feel that way, but I also feel that there is a purpose to my being which is to some extent a mystery. I find it helps to listen to certain people. The biologist Rupert Sheldrake, for instance. Considered a maverick by many scientists, he has some inspiring things to say about the meaning of life and the nature of the Universe, and its consciousness. He's on YouTube.

What lovely responses here; I hope you can find encouragement to see your GP, as there is help for you. I wish you well. xx

Many thanks for your comments - lots for me to think about.
I have to say that I still suspect there is no point to life. We are all just bumbling along trying to make the best of the hands we've been dealt! Perhaps I need to go away and study philosophy!

I do see the point in being thankful and grateful for each day I’m still around …..I’ve come through the good and not so good times and accept I have more years lived than years to live. My greatest achievement is reaching this state of old age in one piece…..with a grateful heart and a comfortable home in which to enjoy each day as I choose to. I can’t offer any suggestions on how to change these thoughts you’re having eddiecat78, but from reading through many of the responses you are obviously not alone in your mindset. Maybe that will give you some comfort and support.

Oh how that resonates with me. The feeling that "what's it all for" now.
Since I have been unwell, I have gradually lost all that "get up and go" that I had. This morning I have put up a banner, for a birthday relative and that left me utterly drained. DH told me off, and I know he would have done it, but I thought I could do it myself.
Sometimes I just feel as though I have had enough, but then the lively moments arrive and I'm OK again for a while. I have never thought that I was depressed, but maybe that's it, and I am, sometimes.
Onwards and upwards.

You could try a mindfulness course, then you definitely won't need to be thinking about what you are not achieving. You might find peace.. and just the enjoyment of each present day

I often feel the same way eddycat. Since my DH passed away I really don't see the point of anything. I go through the motions, I shop for food, I eat sensibly, I clean the house, I look after the garden etc but where's the pleasure or joy? I assume my feelings will eventually ease but then I don't really want to move on, it would seem almost a betrayal to my late DH.

i have had depression for 20 years (started when i was widowed at 39) and most of the time i have coped and got on with it, but 6 years ago i got bowel cancer and then vulva cancer that meant having my groin lymph nodes removed and now have lymphedema which is chronic and will get worse, i am having to use a rollator (walker) outside and if i go out with my son to a large shopping centre he has to get me a wheelchair. i have a lot of what's the point days, i feel useless when i can't get out to buy a pint of milk as some days the pain is so bad i can hardly stand. i enjoy my own company, i read, play games on my laptop, do my exercises but some days i awake and am angry that i did (depression), i did not think my life would go downhill this quickly, i only turned 60 last week. there is days like OP but there is also days when my son and 4 yo grandson facetime me and i get those gorgeous smiles from my gs (autistic non verbal) blowing me kisses and prodding his dad to tell me what he did that day and his thumbs up to say he will see me soon, small things to some people but an amazing thing for me. op please find something you like to do, mine is reading others knit for the baby units (my mum), sister goes and shakes a bucket for charity, older neighbours go to the lunch club or to bingo, sometimes get tickets to see a play or the cinema.
i am sorry this has been a long post, thank you for reading.

I've had very low times in the past and could tell a sad story, and used to wonder what the point of life is. Years on and after much thought and reading etc. I've found a peaceful place in my mind.

Think of cats, they hunt, eat and sleep for hours, and know how to 'be'. They do not worry about achievements and if their life is worthwhile, just do what they feel like when they feel like doing it. They can provide immense comfort to their owners who love them so much, so their lives mean a great deal. We could do with lowering our expectations of ourselves and know our lives mean a lot to others.

I am very content with the things I have achieved in life and the [few] strengths I have . My driving forces have been my 2 sons, creating a lovely home/s and garden/s, my grandchildren, [enjoying life with partners/friends in the past] keeping myself as healthy as possible and always counting my blessings.
I enjoy little things, so many every day: nice weather, pottering in the garden, a walk, greenery, a conversation, every meal, a good book, a good tv programme, a film, music,
my crafts...Wimbledon at the mo! A simple life can be full of lovely moments which make life worth living. If you notice.

I'm on my own and have been for years, so I think having a partner/husband besides you is a great achievement as It hasn't worked for me. I don't think we should take anyone, friend, spouse, partner, son or daughter or grandchild for granted. But I do appreciate it is much harder to feel blessed and happy with life when in a bad situation [work/home/relationship] and/or having very poor health problems. Then you need a lot of support so never be afraid to seek it.

Couldn’t agree more Kate1949
I have to smile at some of the things that are written on social media particularly Instagram and mumsnet, perfect people with perfect lives ! I’m not really taken in by any of it! 🤣

It's hard to see a point when you're feeling low. Still, any guilt about not doing enough is self-generated (or from childhood, those 'make yourself useful' remarks). You don't really have to 'do' anything - it's quite enough to 'be'.

Just resting and looking after yourself is sometimes the best thing to do - to recharge your batteries. If you can manage it, a walk every day really does lift the spirits. Look forward to later, when you may have the energy to launch yourself into activities, creative or voluntary work.

Nana Dana, your post is 100% spot on, thanks for writing it.

Kate1949

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

A good few Gransnetters know me in person, so I couldn't pretend to be tall, elegant, witty, amusing, intelligent and wealthy, anyway.🤣

eddiecat78

I have a couple of health problems which are making life difficult and stopping me from getting out or, in my opinion, being a good relative or friend. I feel I am just getting through each day and increasingly wondering " what is the point?" I asked OH if he ever thinks this and he looked mystified and said No he just does what needs doing and tries to enjoy each day. He never feels that he should be achieving more - which I do, and I feel bad that I'm not.
Please don't tell me to talk to my GP - I am already working on my mental health. Putting it bluntly, I'm just wondering if other people think about "the meaning of life" and if they have come up with any answers. Incidentally I do have children and grandchildren who probably are my main achievement in life but that doesn't feel enough

eddiecat78 Please don't tell me to talk to my GP - I am already working on my mental health. Putting it bluntly, I'm just wondering if other people think about "the meaning of life" and if they have come up with any answers. Incidentally I do have children and grandchildren who probably are my main achievement in life but that doesn't feel enough

My answer to most any problem is and always has been prayer whilst outdoors walking dogs. God holds answers to life, for me. I pray often as I ponder 'why' this or that - during or after new thoughts come to me.

I've many lovely GC, GGC, a fantastic husband - in my soul God speaks.

Maybe prayer or Bible time with Him?

Difficult to respond, eddiecat, as I'm not sitting where you are, and we're all different. Some are quite happy with their own company, and take pleasure in Nature perhaps, or have rewarding hobbies which they undertake solo . Others are more energised by socialising, and by activities which bring them into regular contact with others. I'm somewhere in between. I have a large, caring family around me, adult children who have worked hard for their success, and lovely, healthy grandchildren. DH and I have a few age-related health problems which have rather trimmed back our feathers as regards overseas travel, which we loved, but there's still so much to see here in the UK. We also have a couple of pooches. Try taking them for a walk without ending up chatting to someone. Yes, we have our off days, but it's good to look back from a sunnier place and congratulate yourself on coming through those. There's obviously no ideal solution.. it's often just a case of soldiering on, trial and error, and finding what floats your boat. That also changes with circumstances, as we've found ourselves, so it pays to be flexible and to have a plan B up your sleeve. Also be kind to yourself. Little treats on a regular basis help, and they don't all have to be guilty pleasures.. although the most enjoyable usually are. Either way, I do hope that it works out for you. After all, we're at that time of life when we don't need to feel pressured into doing anything much really, only if we want to.

PM sent

I don't know how old you feel but have you thought about doing a degree?
There are SO many exciting opportunities out there. I did my MA in my late 60s, finished in 2016. In my time at university I met other older students - I was arts based but I met a person (late 70s) doing a women's studies course and someone who was retired from the civil service studying Textiles.

It's challenging, exciting and life affirming!

As an older person we have not so many distractions as younger students and so much more experience.

Just have a think.
I did mine part time (and now have a business from it).

Also City and Guilds might appeal!

These are achievements that could be personal to you.

I do voluntary work - from my desk - which keeps my brain active which is something because my legs certainly aren't which is frustrating. I'm lucky that my older grandchildren pop in quite frequently but I don't see many people otherwise these days. Our neighbours are younger and busier so I don't seem them much but our area is all on WhatsApp which keeps us in touch with any activities.

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

Kate1949

Also, don't be fooled by other people's 'wonderful' lives, especially on platforms like Facebook.

Or Gransnet!

We never really know what goes on behind closed doors and the anonymity of GN can make it easy to be someone you are not.

Also, don't be fooled by other people's 'wonderful' lives, especially on platforms like Facebook.