What is the point?

Oh yes eddiecat I do this too and often for no particular reason. It's not as if anything's changed in terms of my health or our personal circumstances, so maybe it comes down to having aspects of my life that I wish I could change, but know I never can.

Could that be you too?

I think we all (or at the very least, many of us) feel that way at times. I know I do. Working on your mental health is good - and even better if you have someone you can talk to. I don't, really - so I often find myself getting too much into my own head at times (if that makes sense). I've always been an over-thinker and that does tend to make it much worse.

I feel exactly the same - as if it's all behind me. In my case I realise it's depression. I lost someone very close to me in sad circumstances years ago and I have never got over it and never will. Bringing up children and helping with grandchildren gave me a focus and took my mind off things. But now I feel just like you do. I am helpful and kind to others though I'm not sure I'm always appreciated. I am lucky to have a positive DH and he's just like yours eddiecat in that he just gets on with his day and doesn't overthink like I do. I agree that seeing my GP wouldn't change anything so I try to help myself by going out every day, eating well and trying to be positive but it is difficult and just to let you know you are certainly not alone.

I didn’t find that anything helped with my depression (and it sounds as though you’re suffering from it) other than medication so don’t discount going to your GP for help. It made a big difference to the way I viewed my life.

Yes, we have more years behind us than to come, but that’s not a reason to enjoy whatever small pleasures today can hold if we allow ourselves to recognise them. They may be smaller and simpler pleasures than we enjoyed years ago, but nonetheless sweet.

I was the same, GSM. I don't even think I recognised that I had depression until I went to my GP about something else and then mentioned how I was feeling. I think I was in denial, and being prescribed antidepressants was the last thing on my mind, but they've made a huge difference to me. There's no shame in admitting you need help - whatever form that help might take.

Agree with Germanshepherdsmum

Your DH has the right idea OP, do what’s needed and enjoy what you can each day.A book, some tv, a glass of wine, sit in your garden if you have one.You have earned the right not to have to do too much and we don’t need to achieve anything.

Oreo

Agree with Germanshepherdsmum

Your DH has the right idea OP, do what’s needed and enjoy what you can each day.A book, some tv, a glass of wine, sit in your garden if you have one.You have earned the right not to have to do too much and we don’t need to achieve anything.

This is so true. I think my problem is that I’m no longer achieving anything and, worse still, did I ever achieve anything? Yet I have a husband and children and grandchildren and relatives and friends who value me, shouldn’t I see this as an “achievement”?

Yes, a very valuable achievement.

It is very much an achievement. I've often said that, if I never achieved much in life, at least I did manage to raise a daughter and son of whom I have very proud.

My greatest achievement was having my son. Anything else pales into insignificance.

I think a lot of us when we were younger had so many balls to juggle in the air. DH, Family, ageing parents. Working out of or in the home we often forgot about ourselves we were too wrapped up in others and keeping things on track.
Now we have time to reflect, we ask the question of how we coped and what was it all for.
If you feel depressed go to your GP. I did, with a litany of illnesses and he told me I needed to lose the stress of work.
My answer was to take early retirement which I was lucky to be able to do. When DH eventually gave up work we moved back nearer to where we were from.
Simple things make me feel I have achieved something,DD'S phoning for advice. Time to help a friend who has recently lost her husband.
If you are valued then you have achieved something.

Yes I know the feeling well especially regarding health. I always try to have a positive outlook but sometimes the gloom takes over and I feel guilty.
I won't tell anyone what to do I might suggest a little outing if possible to change a low mood. We all know our own minds and we muddle on.
I have my family I adore them but sometimes I feel redundant. I think my DH feels a bit the same it must just be this stage of life.

I am already taking antidepressants but they will not improve my other health problems and it is those that are stopping me from doing what I want to do. I see friends packing so much more into their lives and do feel my life is less worthwhile than theirs. I probably do need to lower my expectations.
I think as women we do tend to feel we "should" be doing things - and when we can't it is hard to come to terms with.
Over-thinking is also a problem. Let's face it, the more you think about life and what we are all doing here the more pointless it all seems!

I often ask myself what is the point and open the cupboard where I keep enough barbiturates to send me to sleep and never wake. So far Ive always closed the door again without getting any of the packets out.

I have never been prescribed or taken anti depressants fortunately mine is just dull moods. When you are younger looking after children working and juggling stuff there’s no time for overthinking. When you retire and children have grown and flew that’s when overthinking can start.

I'm sorry you feel like this eddie. As you can see from this thread, you are not alone in this. I too feel like this on many days. My life has been quite difficult from childhood onwards and I feel very hopeless most days, never as good as others. I am a plodder, no ambition. I just strived to get through it all. Don't beat yourself up. We can't all be high flyers. Somehow, and I don't now how, I still get up in the morning. Perhaps that's an achievement in itself. I wish you luck.

I have chronic health problems, which are seriously limiting what I can do.
Strangely, "What is the point?" has never crossed my mind. My life is rubbish at the moment, so I try to focus on something positive each day, I am glad I am still here, when I wake up every morning.

I suffered twice from dreadful post natal depression and refused to see a GP, until my mother called out the doctor on one particularly bad day.
I am ashamed to say, I couldn't have cared less what happened to me, my DH nor my chidren and like you, thought about the point of it all.
However, after a consultation with my GP and medication, I gradually began to feel better and gradually came out of that dark place.
As others have said, please see your GP.

Also, don't be fooled by other people's 'wonderful' lives, especially on platforms like Facebook.

Kate1949

Also, don't be fooled by other people's 'wonderful' lives, especially on platforms like Facebook.

Or Gransnet!

We never really know what goes on behind closed doors and the anonymity of GN can make it easy to be someone you are not.

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

I do voluntary work - from my desk - which keeps my brain active which is something because my legs certainly aren't which is frustrating. I'm lucky that my older grandchildren pop in quite frequently but I don't see many people otherwise these days. Our neighbours are younger and busier so I don't seem them much but our area is all on WhatsApp which keeps us in touch with any activities.

I don't know how old you feel but have you thought about doing a degree?
There are SO many exciting opportunities out there. I did my MA in my late 60s, finished in 2016. In my time at university I met other older students - I was arts based but I met a person (late 70s) doing a women's studies course and someone who was retired from the civil service studying Textiles.

It's challenging, exciting and life affirming!

As an older person we have not so many distractions as younger students and so much more experience.

Just have a think.
I did mine part time (and now have a business from it).

Also City and Guilds might appeal!

These are achievements that could be personal to you.

PM sent

Difficult to respond, eddiecat, as I'm not sitting where you are, and we're all different. Some are quite happy with their own company, and take pleasure in Nature perhaps, or have rewarding hobbies which they undertake solo . Others are more energised by socialising, and by activities which bring them into regular contact with others. I'm somewhere in between. I have a large, caring family around me, adult children who have worked hard for their success, and lovely, healthy grandchildren. DH and I have a few age-related health problems which have rather trimmed back our feathers as regards overseas travel, which we loved, but there's still so much to see here in the UK. We also have a couple of pooches. Try taking them for a walk without ending up chatting to someone. Yes, we have our off days, but it's good to look back from a sunnier place and congratulate yourself on coming through those. There's obviously no ideal solution.. it's often just a case of soldiering on, trial and error, and finding what floats your boat. That also changes with circumstances, as we've found ourselves, so it pays to be flexible and to have a plan B up your sleeve. Also be kind to yourself. Little treats on a regular basis help, and they don't all have to be guilty pleasures.. although the most enjoyable usually are. Either way, I do hope that it works out for you. After all, we're at that time of life when we don't need to feel pressured into doing anything much really, only if we want to.