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Tracking On Phones.

(192 Posts)
Calendargirl Fri 14-Jul-23 06:49:36

Chatting to a friend, I was astounded when she said she and her DH had tracking on their phones for their sons.

The sons are one in mid 30’s, married with baby, and the other two are early 20’s, still living at home.

How long will this go on, I wonder? Will they still be ‘tracked’ when in their 40’s say?

Should say I think they are all well aware Mum and Dad can see what they are doing.

Also heard about another mum who ‘tracks’ her adult children.

Just seems very odd and OTT to me.

Blondiescot Sat 15-Jul-23 16:27:26

Azalea99, what you're describing isn't what most people on here would describe as sinister or creepy. We're talking about adults wanting to know where their adult children are at all times. There's a big difference.

Azalea99 Sat 15-Jul-23 16:01:46

Stalking? Oh, give me strength! On my phone it’s called “Location sharing” & it won’t work unless we both switch it on. DS uses it before phoning me in case I’m driving & I use it before phoning him as he hates being called on the train. He often walks to my place which takes about an hour so I use it to see how close he is. They say it takes one to know one & frankly anyone who considers this sinister or creepy should get help.

EEJit Sat 15-Jul-23 16:01:14

I have simple tracking on my phone so my wife can see where I am.

It started 3 years ago when Beloved went through a bout of anxiety. I had just been diagnosed with acute Kidney Injury and she became stressed and anxious if I went out shopping or something and was out longer than expected.

It was my idea to set up our phones so that she could track where I was. It's been a success which helped during her an anxiety attack and I've never bothered to switch it off just in case.
It's also comes in handy, depending on where I am and when she looks, she can have the kettle on when I get home.

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 15-Jul-23 15:00:09

We all have it, it’s useful when MzOops travels back to Cornwall, I can see when she is within a few miles of home late at night and go to bed knowing she is ok.

MissOops takes the dog for long walks on her own and is comforted that I will at least know where she is if there’s a problem.

However I don’t use it on a day to day basis, I assume they know where I am if they want to look at it at any time.

Once the GCs went to college they removed their names from the list which is fair enough but when our GD went to Japan on her own she switched it back on until she returned home.

It was handy this morning MrOops was convinced that he knew where he was going but I could see he was heading in totally the wrong direction, so I phoned him and pointed it out to him, was he pleased? Not as much as you would think….

nexus63 Sat 15-Jul-23 14:57:23

i am 60, my son has a tracker on my phone, i live alone and have a number of health problems, i don't mind, him and his partner have them on there phones so they know when each other is due to arrive for pick up or whatever else.

DaisyAnneReturns Sat 15-Jul-23 14:28:29

oodles

My son and I have our locations on our maps. It's nice to know that they've got home safely, or when out and about with work that they've arrived at their destination safely or if we're meeting up, that sort of thing.
I don't use it beyond that

But you can if you want to, or not. I find it all very exciting. But then I do have a very far flung family and technology really helps us keep in touch and build proper relationships with the whole family including grandchildren.

I wouldn't take the amount of videos that my children take, but again I get to see things that I just wouldn't know about otherwise. My father used to take huge numbers of photographs, which his parents wouldn't, indeed couldn't have taken.

Sleepygran Sat 15-Jul-23 14:24:17

My husband and I have trackers on our phones.He’s been ill and if he’s longer on a walk than I expected I can see where he is and if he’s moving.
Unexpectedly it came in handy when he dropped his phone when out for a walk,the tracker told us exactly where his phone was!

Blondiescot Sat 15-Jul-23 14:22:12

Salti

I am just so glad that things like this were not around when my mother was alive.

Oh dear god, yes! My mother made my life hell enough without having been able to track my every movement! I don't have a problem with technology at all - I like to think I'm pretty tech savvy, but I do find some parents' apparent obsession with knowing their adult children's every movement a little strange, to say the least.

oodles Sat 15-Jul-23 14:15:11

My son and I have our locations on our maps. It's nice to know that they've got home safely, or when out and about with work that they've arrived at their destination safely or if we're meeting up, that sort of thing.
I don't use it beyond that

DaisyAnneReturns Sat 15-Jul-23 14:14:06

Doodledog

Galaxy

I use technology all the time, it's certainly not that kind of issue with me. I think people struggle with understanding that some people really value privacy etc.

Me too grin. I love technology and have always been an early adopter, whether young or older. I don't think that means that I have to buy into every new thing that comes along just because it is there, though - I can exercise judgement. Both we and our children value privacy too, so there is no generational element in our choice to opt out of being tracked.

If others, such as my friend and her family, do want to track one another, however, that's up to them, and I wouldn't dream of casting aspersions on either them or their motives.
San Fairy Ann as they never said in France.

When we say "generational issue" Doodledog I don't think we mean the whole of one generationsmile just that it happens more in that generation than other generations.

I'm not writing off the whole of Grandsnet. I know a lot of people are very tech savvy and I've learned a lot from them about things that will help as we get older. "Independence for all" as we get older, is one of my passions.

pinkjj27 Sat 15-Jul-23 14:11:40

I know many people that track for all different reasons.
My friend’s work tracks her as she works as a career going into strangers homes.
My friend tracks her mum for peace of mind.
I have a habit of getting lost so my late husband used to track me on days I was going somewhere new but I was able to turn it off.
I do not think people are continently checking up on it, rather than just having it in case anything happened.
One of friends found her brother lying in a ditch after being knocked off his bike. If they are aware they are being tracked and are ok with it that’s fine. They are able to turn off their location. It’s when you are being tracked and control it is not fine. All my grandkids are tracked. I am going away by my self in November for the first time, I will have some form of tracking on my phone.

Beechnut Sat 15-Jul-23 13:59:20

Salti

I am just so glad that things like this were not around when my mother was alive.

So am I! I would probably have been grounded for going as far as the garden gate 🤣

Salti Sat 15-Jul-23 13:54:25

I am just so glad that things like this were not around when my mother was alive.

LizzieDrip Sat 15-Jul-23 13:45:42

We started a family ‘tracking’ App when teenager DGS took up orienteering. My DD also travels all over the world so it’s useful for us to know when she’s arrived at destinations etc. I think, as long as this tech is used sympathetically and with the knowledge of all parties, it’s very useful and can give peace of mind. TBH, I wish my sister had it on her phone. She’s recently been diagnosed with dementia and has gone ‘walkabout’ a couple of times, causing much anxiety! If she had the tracking app we could have found her much more easily. Unfortunately she’s refusing to have the tech!

IamMaz Sat 15-Jul-23 13:35:38

My son is 31. We track each other just to know what each of us is doing. No hidden agendas. We find it reassuring. I’m sure I look where he is far more often than he checks me, if ever!

AreWeThereYet Sat 15-Jul-23 13:05:51

Both parties do have to consent but I wonder how many ACs who consented for a particular reason (travelling, for instance) realise they are being stalked throughout the day as they go about their life? Many would probably laugh it off, depending on who was doing it. I would too, to a certain extent. But it would make me feel a bit queasy, and I don't think I would be comfortable with the stalker in the future. Although I would feel quite sad for anyone watching me go about my fairly boring (to anyone else), mundane life.

Mamie Sat 15-Jul-23 12:52:30

Or you can just use an app and turn it on only when you need it. The essential is to understand how the technology works and how you, the user, can control it.
As I said earlier, Knowledge is Power.

Theexwife Sat 15-Jul-23 12:52:18

I think there could be a problem when the person you are tracking asks you to stop or turns off locations, they may just feel it is unnecessary but would the tracker question them as to why and think there is more to it?

Freya5 Sat 15-Jul-23 12:49:26

Invasion of privacy. Really bad behaviour, I wouldnt dream of doing it. Then again I haven't got an I phone.

Doodledog Sat 15-Jul-23 12:47:15

cc

Vintagegirl

The location apps are a two way process so each person is aware and consents. Whatsapp has a useful feature that sends you location to another person and you choose how long it should last from 15 minutes to couple of hours. Handy if meeting an acquaintance in a busy venue.

Yes, we share our live Whatsapp location with out son and DiL when we are travelling to see them and they do the same for us. We used it this morning so that they had some idea of when we would arrive. I believe that you can switch it on for up to 8 hours which would be long enough for most purposes and is not as intrusive as a permanent tracker.

Yes, I can imagine using it like that. Mr D sometimes goes out for long walks, and this thread has made me think I might suggest we switch it on next time. He's often out of signal though, which would defeat the object, I assume.

DaisyAnneReturns Sat 15-Jul-23 12:45:13

Galaxy

It's also really good to question new developments this doesnt mean we are against them. I wish people had done some more questioning about the impact of say plastic surgery, porn etc.

It is Galaxy. I suggested legislation earlier, for misuse but it can be used to limit use or access too.

I do feel, however, that like King Canute, we cannot hold back the tide. In this case of time and technology. Much though at some time, we may all wish to do so.

cc Sat 15-Jul-23 12:44:28

Vintagegirl

The location apps are a two way process so each person is aware and consents. Whatsapp has a useful feature that sends you location to another person and you choose how long it should last from 15 minutes to couple of hours. Handy if meeting an acquaintance in a busy venue.

Yes, we share our live Whatsapp location with out son and DiL when we are travelling to see them and they do the same for us. We used it this morning so that they had some idea of when we would arrive. I believe that you can switch it on for up to 8 hours which would be long enough for most purposes and is not as intrusive as a permanent tracker.

Doodledog Sat 15-Jul-23 12:40:25

Galaxy

I use technology all the time, it's certainly not that kind of issue with me. I think people struggle with understanding that some people really value privacy etc.

Me too grin. I love technology and have always been an early adopter, whether young or older. I don't think that means that I have to buy into every new thing that comes along just because it is there, though - I can exercise judgement. Both we and our children value privacy too, so there is no generational element in our choice to opt out of being tracked.

If others, such as my friend and her family, do want to track one another, however, that's up to them, and I wouldn't dream of casting aspersions on either them or their motives.
San Fairy Ann as they never said in France.

DaisyAnneReturns Sat 15-Jul-23 12:35:36

Galaxy

I use technology all the time, it's certainly not that kind of issue with me. I think people struggle with understanding that some people really value privacy etc.

I don't think people do misunderstand. To to each own, as they say.

However, I'm not sure digs about people being over invested in their families is really a great way to put your point across.

KathrynP Sat 15-Jul-23 12:29:33

I use Find My Phone app on both my husband and my phones. He has dementia and hearing loss so often doesn’t answer the phone. (and loses his phone).If we are in an unfamiliar town and we go our separate ways for an hour or so it is a godsend for my nerves that I can find him if he ever gets confused. It gives him independence until his dementia gets worse and then we will be glued together.