I’m being totally unreasonable!

I can't dislike anyone on GN as all we see are their views on discussions. If we met that person I think we would see the whole person not just their persona on GN. I don't always agree with friends and family and may even dislike some of their beliefs but still like/ love that person.

tickingbird

Nannan2

Now none of us will dare comment on here in case we are the 'disliked' one, for no good reason..Should maybe have kept that secret🤔

Why should she have kept it a secret? Why should anyone think it’s them? If it’s me I couldn’t give a hoot. There are posters on GN that I can’t abide so try as much as possible not to engage with them. There will be members that don’t like me. Why worry?

I do not care if people on GN do not like me either😂 But I am wondering If I am one of those that you cannot abide 😁.
I dont dislike any one myself on here; albeit I frequently disagree with others opinions especially anyone who is right wing or reads the Daily Mail 😁

Sometimes we just don't warm to people .
I think that it's because they remind us of someone who was unpleasant to us sometime in our history .

I've felt acutely embarrassed by one of our neighbours , who seems to blank me .

I've found that she is actually very nice -just acutely introverted .

I dislike being on bad terms with anyone .

I also have an uncomfortable gut feeling about certain people .

I just smile and am polite .

I understand your feelings Sidelined. Trust your instincts and steer clear if you can.
I’m the same. My DH always disagrees with me, until eventually I’m proven right. I’m sure I’ve become worse with age. I don’t like people just dropping in either. We don’t really have neighbours too close, but if I meet someone in the village I always say hello, but that’s enough for me.

Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you

Joseph Heller

I have just appeared on this forum. I think I am well-liked😂And I’m sure, some of my posts and comments are ‘sneerable’ …So, is it me ? 😂

Theexwife

VioletSky

Theexwife

You have caused some paranoia lol

I do feel bad now, wish I hadn't commented, I will say she has not appeared on this thread.

Surely I am not the only one that has a dislike of a gransnet member or do you all like everyone.

No, you’re not the only one.

Theexwife

VioletSky

Theexwife

You have caused some paranoia lol

I do feel bad now, wish I hadn't commented, I will say she has not appeared on this thread.

Surely I am not the only one that has a dislike of a gransnet member or do you all like everyone.

You’re not the only one Thexwife🙂
We’re a ‘hello’ to most neighbours, those one side we chat to more, our children know their daughter from school days.
But, I wouldn’t feel bad Sidelined we’re all human.

I hope it's not me! Theexwife 😕

I have irrational dislikes of people. It is a certain type, a woman who is assertive, impatient and over confident. IMO.
My late OH understood completely but I can't share my dislike with anyone else.

I think it's unresolved issues from my childhood. It doesn't matter if one of these people moves out of my life, along comes another to take her place.

I am jealous probably but I can't seem to stop the feelings.

Theexwife definitely not, promise

Now I have added to the paranoia lol

SheepIzzy - did she get planning permission? I'd hate that too.

Six months after we moved in the (romantically) derelict old hall opposite us was pulled down and replaced with a big house, I was really grumpy then!

VioletSky

Theexwife

You have caused some paranoia lol

I do feel bad now, wish I hadn't commented, I will say she has not appeared on this thread.

Surely I am not the only one that has a dislike of a gransnet member or do you all like everyone.

I chuckled when I read the post, I have a neighbour, don't like her, that's that! We keep ourselves to ourselves, always have done, due to mum being born in the house, we've probably been here the longest, most of the neighbours have either died off or moved away. This new neighbour moved in 4 years ago and got my back up by going for planning permission on her garden which is right next to us (not a little box either, a thumping 3 storey 6 bedder! Townies for you, move rural then think let's build! If we wanted to live by a building site we'd sell our field for building, but that would annoy the neighbours who coo over the view!) Some folk are more outgoing, that's not us, we have our ways and we're happy with our lot! Some of the other neighbours, I probably speak to them once or twice a year and it's as if it were only yesterday!

Oh dear BettyBoop49, I'd hate that too...

Oh dear! Im
horrid.
My neighbour provides housing for young illegal immigrants (4 at present) Some are clearly not teenagers but say they are underage. I mind because we share a courtyard and she never explains who is arriving. This means we have no idea who we share a small outside space with. Im meant to think she is a good woman but I don’t. I person would be good and they would be given time, help and patience but 4? ( once there were 6!) It is a small 4 bed home. I hear kerching! Ok shout at me ! She has had a doorbell camera fitted that points at my home. Am I a ‘Karen’? I hope not

If I were unkind (and I am) I'd mention that she's very highly strung, easily hysterical and has too much nervous energy, all traits that I find unsettling. If she lived in another house I'd be happy but we share a private plot, share a drive and what used to feel like a quiet peaceful spot now feels like Piccadilly Circus. She's the fourth occupant of the house next door and the worst! Thankfully, she has stopped knocking asking for help but if her car is outside I catch myself creeping about when outside - so silly. There used to be a couple with teenagers living there and they were a delight.

Trust your intuition. Mine is usually right in the end although I do try to rationalise it to begin with.

Subconsciously there could be a trait you have that you don’t like that you see in her?

Theexwife

You have caused some paranoia lol

FarNorth

Theexwife

I feel the same about someone on this forum, she seems well liked, I just didn’t trust her, for no real reason and I sneer at all her posts and comments. I do make a point of not commenting on her posts or replying to her comments as I know I am being unreasonable.

You sneer at all her posts?
Does she really say sneer-worthy things every time?

No, she doesn’t, I was agreeing with the title of this thread ‘ I am being totally unreasonable’

Hmmmmm... i can honestly say that I too have had 'feelings' about people ( well 1 person actually) I won't go as far as saying they made my blood boil, no-one has had that affect, so I just stay clear, i am not two-faced, as in nice to their face then slate them behind their back or whatever, I just stayed clear of them, but thats how it affected me.

But if this person is a neighbour and the only way of avoidance is dashing in house quick sticks then its becoming awkward, what I would do is keep it to a cheery hello and don't engage in conversation, that way you're not opening the gap to then be left feeling annoyed or frustrated.

A gut instinct is to be acted upon .... 😃

We have a neighbour like that. Most of the close don't like him.

In 9 years I think I have 2 conversations with him. In the first, he was racist, mysoginistic, and just downright bloody annoying, I don't know why, he just was.

I just ignore him, I'm quite hard of hearing so it comes in handy, just pretend my hearing aids aren't switched on, he's got to the stage that usually ignores me as well.

Theexwife

I feel the same about someone on this forum, she seems well liked, I just didn’t trust her, for no real reason and I sneer at all her posts and comments. I do make a point of not commenting on her posts or replying to her comments as I know I am being unreasonable.

You sneer at all her posts?
Does she really say sneer-worthy things every time?

i recently had my family staying ,my grandson showed me some magnets ,he was intrigued that they attracted and repelled, i asked him do you know anyone who makes you feel like that? his answer was, yes, and he is 8 years old. ive met many ,like you mentioned, i have a background in psychology, and i have never solidly come up with a reliable answer.trust your gut!

I understand what the OP means as I've had similar 'instant dislike' of people on first meeting. Then, when necessary, I've told myself it's unreasonable (especially when a work colleague or AC's new partner) and done my best to be kind and sociable with them. But, later on, I'm sadly always right. Trust your insticts OP.