I’m being totally unreasonable!

Well at least you recognise that you are being unreasonable. Why not have a conversation where you actually engage with her and listen to what she says. It'll either reinforce your dislike or you will gradually soften towards her. To be honest, as long as you can be polite, that's probably enough

I’m bemused why someone you have had so little contact with should make your blood boil?
Can you give some reasons?

I was puzzled as well Sidelined what was it that raised your hackles ?

Sometimes that just happens though. At least sidelined is honest about it and is giving the situation some thought. We have neighbours I like, some I dislike and some who are OK.

We have had a couple of conversations and they didn’t help. I even apologised once for not making more time to get to know her. It’s not something she’s done particularly, it’s something quite hard to pinpoint but something about her makes me furious. Never happened before. OH says he doesn’t like her much either but she doesn’t get under his skin thankfully. It’s just me !

If I’m honest it’s her demeanour- very sweet and humble but I wouldn’t trust her an inch. She reminds me of those characters of Dickens who wring their hands and flatter and smile slyly while weighing you up! I know others think she’s lovely but I can’t see it myself….

What are your gut feelings like with other people? I used to feel anger with a colleague and we had barely spoken. It turned out she was a liar, useless at her job and took credit for other people's work. However she had lots of fake charm and many people liked her.

Maybe it's instinct and there isn't a clear reason. I don't think it makes you a bad person at all, because we have to carry on living close to neighbours. Polite but keep the boundaries unless and until it becomes clear?

Coronation is right. Sometimes gut instincts are spot on. I don't like 'Uriah Heap' type characters either.

I feel the same about someone on this forum, she seems well liked, I just didn’t trust her, for no real reason and I sneer at all her posts and comments. I do make a point of not commenting on her posts or replying to her comments as I know I am being unreasonable.

I usually see the good in folk, at least until I know otherwise. I’ll have to practice my own insincere sweet smile

Theexwife

I feel the same about someone on this forum, she seems well liked, I just didn’t trust her, for no real reason and I sneer at all her posts and comments. I do make a point of not commenting on her posts or replying to her comments as I know I am being unreasonable.

I feel like that about someone on GN too, but on a forum it’s easier to avoid the person than in real life I guess.

As long as you are being polite you have nothing to worry about

I actually understand what you mean as there is someone I really can't stand and I just don't trust her. Everyone who knows me thinks it is hilarious because you can't normally push me to say anything negative about anyone

I am slowly being vindicated as I see this person caught out in lies and inappropriate behaviour so maybe you should trust your instincts too

you say ....... 'she's had more to do with OH'.......

is that what makes your blood boil?

lemsip, no not at all. He saves me from having to be nicer to her, lets me escape while steping into my wake with a few well chosen words.

O once felt this way about a colleague, i thought she was too good to be wholesome. The boss thought she was wonderful, until she ended up in court!

Theexwife

I feel the same about someone on this forum, she seems well liked, I just didn’t trust her, for no real reason and I sneer at all her posts and comments. I do make a point of not commenting on her posts or replying to her comments as I know I am being unreasonable.

Or gut instinct?

Sidelined who knows why you react that way but it doesn’t make you a bad person, maybe a good judge of character?
I find those overly smiley ever so humble people annoying too.

She does sound quite irritating Sidelined trust your instinct.

I don’t think you need to feel bad. As you say you aren’t nasty to her. Sometimes we can gel with people easily and sometimes , for no particular reason we don’t.
If you feel bad , I should feel worse. I have a family member I have known for nearly 50 years. She has never done anything bad towards me and I would never let her know but I never feel comfortable with her and there is just some something about her that seems to grate on me.

Is it that on some sub conscious level she reminds you of somebody who you do know and have or have had good cause to distrust? Years ago I met a client and disliked her for no good reason from the off. I knew this was unfair, but I couldn't shake the feeling, and when I examined my reaction in more depth, I realised that in fact she reminded me of my late mother in law who I loathed! It was the accent, both had a distinctive regional accent and hearing her set my hackles up. It was not her fault poor lady so I tried extra hard with her to compensate!

This thread really got me thinking. I know two people, both men, who I instinctively dislike. It's not just me though. Both of them quite independently are very unpopular. DH and I have often tried to put our finger on why nobody likes them but simply can't find a common denominator. Both have very nice partners who everyone likes and feels sorry for. I know this sounds like a series of sweeping generalisations but they are true. One goes from temp job to temp job but is never kept on. Unsurprisingly, he now has quite a defensive manner. It must be so hard going through life knowing/feeling that people don't take to you. We all keep up socially as the partners are really lovely but groan inwardly if we have to sit next to either of the people in question. They don't know each other I should say. One lives in England.

Your intuition is kicking in - trust it.

Just be polite then avoid is my advice.

My post was to sidelined

Theexwife

I feel the same about someone on this forum, she seems well liked, I just didn’t trust her, for no real reason and I sneer at all her posts and comments. I do make a point of not commenting on her posts or replying to her comments as I know I am being unreasonable.

Very strange.