Decluttering - breaking the habit of keeping things ‘for best’

My attempts are moving to the next level in some ways, I’ve decided to get some of the family furniture and paintings I’ve inherited restored so that what I love and I’m keeping is in the best possible condition. I’ve got two chairs which were in the garage because they were falling apart being done at the moment, then a lovely oak dining table which has seen better days and needs covering with a cloth currently is going to be sorted out. I’ve got a long list of other things too. The plan is that I’ll get rid of other furniture to make the space for the restored things, and use my best every day, which I’m really looking forward to. It’s a slow process though.

A GM of mine had a ‘front parlour’ that was never used - there was a big, cosy, sitting/dining room we invariably sat in. The FP always smelt a bit musty on the rare occasions I went in - and there was a horrible waste paper bin made out of an elephant’s foot.😰

However there was a painting which my GM once told me she really liked, and decades after her death, after it had gone to an aunt whose house Dsis was clearing, it turned out to be by quite a well known Victorian artist and sold for over £10k at auction.

GM had almost certainly picked it up for peanuts at a sale - she loved sales but never had much money - so I really wish she could have known what a good ‘eye’ she’d had!

Ethel it was the same for the front parlour, kept very clean and nice but only for best and hardly used. It is my generation that is the divide, who have had the struggle to let go of `keeping for best`.

We had Sunday 'Best' church clothes...even hats ..my mother always use to wear a hat to go out and sometimes the gloves...nice memories...now I must declutter as some of her clothes are still in one of my 3 wardrobes and she passed some years ago...

My aunt had three ‘display cabinets’ full of china. When she retired she treated herself to a ‘full tea set’, as she said all hers were only half sets! When she died, my friend was delighted to take them, and they all get well used, even being borrowed by our wee village hall for coffee mornings!

Another friend was wondering if she should get rid of her china . I suggested she gave it to her daughter.

“ I’m not giving it to her, she’ll just use it”, was her reply.

The sixth and last garden yard party wedding we'll ever host is finally over. Useless old lady china tat will now be donated!

Our children are married and my brother is finally a husband.

Let de-cluttering start again, hopefully we'll see it done.

Tureens we never had, only one platter and I use the gravy boat. The service was given in penny numbers as part of our wedding presents and for a year or two afterwards, so I concentrated on plates, bowls and dishes you eat out of/from rather than serving dishes. I have an eclectic collection of decorative antique bowls, plus some from the kitchen. I wanted the table to look good when laid and when people walked up to the dining table, after that serving dishes are more or less unnoticed, people are more interested n the contents and scoffing it.

NotSpaghetti

I have a cupboard of Wedgwood China and some has just come into the kitchen for everyday use.
Not the tureens, salt and pepper sets or gravy boats I hasten to add!

The tureens, platters, gravy boats are the difficult pieces to justify keeping. I split all the extra serving pieces off from a huge set of china & divided among our daughters, so we could all have for parties.

But, we had a huge garden/wedding party after buying the plates back from the shop plus many more sets. Win some, lose some!

We use Christmas crockery for every meal, December 1st until January 6th. I don't think china is all clutter - but we've far too many passed down sets.

t is wrong with having the wedgwood out only on Christmas day, you could continute to use it for the rest of the Christmas season. Would you throw all your saved Christmas decorations away because you only get them out at Christmas?

Yes JennyCee I think I probably could sell the Wedgwood. It is all still very lovely.
I probably should think about it as I only have the big items out at Christmas! Day to day I have no need for them.

The attitude of keeping things for best originates from our grandparents and is based on poverty, (poverty as compared to our lives today). If you had very little then to be given something special had to be kept for best. A special outfit for church or a wedding. As a child I had very little but in the 50s few of us had lots of toys, my toys were almost all confiscated as soon as Christmas/birthday was over. They were kept for best. Some are still there at my mothers house, I was left to play with the tatty toys I already had which I loved anyway. Clothes were the same resulting in best clothes becoming too small to get much wear out of them. Our ancestors had much to be blamed for. Even now in her last months my mother sits in tatty skirts when she knows there are decent ones in her wardrobe. I dread the phrase ‘keep for best’.

To NotSpaghetti. You may be able to sell your Wedgewood.
I sold lots of Wedgewood Countryside and made quite a lot of money out of something I wasn’t using.

GrannyGravy13

When my sister and I cleared our Mums bedroom after she died, we were amazed at how many clothes she had in her best wardrobe some only worn once, some still
with tags, since then both of us wear what we want when we want.

Same with China & glassware, I doubt the children will want it.

I think you are right Grannygravy. My mums best wardrobe was the same. Many clothes still with tags on and shoes in boxes.Her best friend had helped her a lot when my father died and she would borrow clothes from mum. I asked her to take what she wanted then she and her daughter took the rest to a charity shop for me.
The saddest "Best", Clothes I found were some suits my father had ,had made in Singapore and hand made shoes 15 years previously. I couldn't bare to take them to the charity shop so DD said let's just get rid at the tip. I'm afraid I broke the rules there ,one of the men I knew was not very well off and dad's size I told him what I had and he took them off my hands,it was lovely to see him in clothes he had never been able to afford all his life.
The worst was my mum was not dead but had gone into a Care home when I said what I had done she replied what a relief ,it was a burden off her. Why had she never allowed me to do it when she was living at home?

I was brought up to reserve certain things ‘for best’, mainly clothing. It’s a habit I’m trying to break as often the ‘for best’ occasions never come, I’ve found. I wear my nicest things whenever there is an occasion to do so, even if it’s not a ‘big deal’ one, like a wedding. Sometimes I put on a lovely outfit just to go shopping with one of my daughters, for example. I got rid of my ‘best’ china (didn’t like it much anyway) as I never used it. My second best is in permanent use now! I use my beautiful glassware and cutlery everyday. My large collection of crystal is similarly woven into the fabric of my daily life; vases, dishes etc and it gives me such pleasure! Much of my more ‘ordinary’ stuff has been given to charity and my best brought out to be used and enjoyed. After all, if not now, then when?!

I don’t have “clothes for best” just what I want to wear!
This summer I’ve made myself some new dresses, I like wearing dresses. When the weather was warmer I had an early morning appointment at the hospital. I was wearing a peach floral dress, a pink blazer and a sunhat. I was asked if I was going somewhere nice, I said Lidl.
When heading to work on Sunday I was told I looked like the queen! I suspect that was the hat!
We drink water at dinner from crystal glasses and the only reason I don’t use the “good” porcelain diner plates is they are big square things. We have started using smaller plates and bowls so we have a better control of portions.
We had a go at decluttering a while ago and concluded we should use what we have, or, if we’re not going to use it ….get rid!

I never buy toiletries and enjoy using gifted sets. Once a year if I have an influx I gift to local womans refuge or other charities. I drink water from crystal glasses that had spent years in a display cabinet. Every now and then a group of friends and I will take turns and get out our long gone parents teasets and have an afternoon tea. Its possibly my only treasured item I save for best.

Germanshepherdsmum

How can you buy mascara and face cream to save for best?

🤷‍♀️ beyond me 😟

How can you buy mascara and face cream to save for best?

I am so bad at keeping 'stuff'. I have new mascaras that I kept which are now of no use. I have creams and potions that have done the same. I have clothes in my wardrobe which have labels on which I have kept for 'best' and now they are past their best as out of fashion and my body shape has changed. I think my ways came from my mum as she did the same and always had clothes for best and when she died I found a wardrobe full of items and shoes, some two pairs of the same. I am now getting better and have started to use things as soon as I get them, This 'saving for best' does not really work

What a horrible experience Crazyquilter.

I've always kept things for best, clothes, crockery, candles, glasses etc. Since childhood have always done the same. The year before DH passed away I bought several dresses and decided I would start trying to look nicer at home instead of the usual leggings and baggy top. Sadly DH never got to see this and I've just reverted to my usual wear.

*sorry, Paddyann54

Oh Paddyanne what a sad, sad story.That poor wee girl.I do hope her mum let her wear them for her last few days😢

The subject of Possessions has been on my mind: in December I managed to set my house on fire and thick black smoke coated all that I own. Much was thrown out and the rest taken to a warehouse to be fumigated. I am in temporary accommodation, living in two rooms, while my house is put back together and I’m living out of a suitcase. Eight months on, I can barely remember what filled all those cupboards in my house. Why did I need all those gadgets in the kitchen, all those clothes, all those books? What was the point of it all? It does make you think!