Restaurant group meals – splitting the bill or just paying your own share?

Oh Primrose, you had a lucky escape there!

….must add I only ever went to company ‘do’s’ half a dozen times where the bill was always individual payments….agreed beforehand!

Jackiest, yes, exactly! It was always a bone of contention at work, creating bad feeling - and limiting what you could reasonably order. Most people were quite happy to split the bill - but there were the (vocal, killjoy) others, not happy at all.

Those who didn't drink and/or had small appetites were angry about paying for others. People who did drink - and/or ate a lot - just thought the first group were mean and petty. I don't drink but do eat a lot - so was upset about missing out on my starter or pudding!

I dine with siblings + their partners regularly …. I attend on my own… making a party of 7 . We always split the bill 4 ways (I.E.couples) ….I just don’t think it’s dawned on my siblings yet , as I’m still married , that my husband NOT being there ( Alzheimers) isn’t part of the couple thing. Odd as it’s been two years since he’s been there. It will dawn on them…. until then I’m happy with situation as I’m just so pleased that with age ranges of 73(me) and 84 , my sister , with two bro’s in between were all still here and able to meet up. And I’m the poorest. It doesn’t matter does it. Just enjoy the time with family and freinds.

Paying for your own is quite common and it is about time restaurants did individual bills instead of trying to divide it up at the end.

Definitely prefer to pay our own. We often can't really afford a big meal and taylor our meal accordingly so it would be very hard for us to split the bill.

biglouis

Thinking more here of large friendship or work groups rather than family or small groups of intimate friends. If someone has a starter, expensive main and pudding with several glasses of wine then it would be most unfair to ask somone who had a soft drink and only a veggie main to split.

Ive always found the simplest way is to take cash, leave the appropriate amount on the table and then go to the loo or leave the restaurant and let those who want to split the bill argue it out. Or ask the waiter at the beginning of the meal for a separate bill.

Apart from being extremely rude, in my experience the few times fellow diners have done this they invariably do not leave enough cash. I once asked one of these chuck and run diners for the extra she owed when I next saw her. She was quite surprised but paid up with very bad grace.

If out with friends we tend to pay for our own food & drink now unless we have all had something of a similar value and then we would just split the bill. If I’m out with my close family I’m happy to throw in more than my share or occasionally I’ll treat them & foot the bill.

If you’re out in a large group it’s easy to end up subsidising other peoples expensive menu choices. It’s unfair to split the bill if some people have had a fillet steak and expensive wine while others have chosen a jacket potato & soft drinks, especially in the current economic climate.

If with friends, we split the bill unless we're with non-drinkers when we pay for the wine. If with family, usually adult children and grandchildren, we normally pay the whole bill.

Haha I expect we all know someone who abuses the split bill scenario. I certainly have been on nights out where some have downed copious drinks along side their meals and happily split the bill and why wouldn't they!. I also know that some only choose an expensive item if the bill is being split. I think the difference is going out with friends. I would happily share just as i would happily buy them a drink but if one of the group had something far cheaper than the majority I would suggest they pay for just theirs its up to them then.
We as a couple often go out with a single friend and wouldnt expect them to go halfs but we often take turns with them treating each other. Or we might get the drinks bill and they pay half the food so it still feels fair to us all. I have been to places in a large group where the waitresses have asked if we prefer seperate or joint bills. That must be a real pain for them.

Work get togethers at restaurants - I was always miffed when I ended up sponsoring other colleagues drinks and meals, I never ate much nor drank. Many were married or in a relationship but I was single and couldn't afford much. I learned (9 years too late) to leave before everyone else (10th and final year) and pay for my own dinner, therefore knocking one thing off the final bill.

If it is family we split or just pay it but if I go out with a group then we always pay our own as the most expensive can be over twice the cheapest.

This is a really interesting post. I think most people have the same view. Non of us are mean, but we don’t like being taken advantage of.

Best to find out how the bill is to settled at the outset of the meal if money is really an issue. With electronic payment it's not so difficult to ask for separate bill at the beginning, and to make a polite reason for leaving to catch a bus, get a lift, miss the traffic, needing to be up early the following day etc . before bill splitting occurs.

I usually do agree to split the bill even if I've had only one course and a soft drink, as the bill splitting at the end tends to spoil the evening if it takes a while to work it out. However the one thing that really riles me is when someone who has ordered expensive items and perhaps a cocktail as well pipes up that the bill was ' good value' . Of course it will be good value if you have been subsidised significantly by others in the group. I recall once having to subsidize a group meal for ten people by £3 per head as I ended up paying £30.00 over and above what my meal cost. But I accepted it was just part of the cost of attending, although I do recall not attending the next meal with the same group as money was tight when I was younger.

JayDee60

If we go out with my son and his family so 4 of them and 2 of us. I tend to pay the bill. I too am starting to budget more because the costs are so high now. I’m worried about a meal for next week for my sons 40th. It was suppose to be just the 6 of us but now there are 12 and I don’t know who the other 6 are. The restaurant is expensive no mains below £20. Because of this I’m only going to pay for the 2 of us. I’m not prepared to split a bill with people I don’t know. I’ve been at meals out where certain people have more than most and it’s cost us a lot. I don’t think I’m being selfish.

Crikey, I wouldn’t like to pay for 12 either. It was my husband’s birthday in July and 5 of us went and I treated everybody and that was bad enough! Mains, desserts and drinks soon add up. I did have a 30% discount off mains though which helped.

Are you going to mention this before the day to your son? I would or you could be put in an embarrassing position.

Jaydee I learned my lesson in a similar situation ( earlier post). You are not being selfish.

I always pay just for what I ordered. Don't think bill-splitting is fair.

If we go out with my son and his family so 4 of them and 2 of us. I tend to pay the bill. I too am starting to budget more because the costs are so high now. I’m worried about a meal for next week for my sons 40th. It was suppose to be just the 6 of us but now there are 12 and I don’t know who the other 6 are. The restaurant is expensive no mains below £20. Because of this I’m only going to pay for the 2 of us. I’m not prepared to split a bill with people I don’t know. I’ve been at meals out where certain people have more than most and it’s cost us a lot. I don’t think I’m being selfish.

Aveline

Pascal30 a very familiar situation. It's OK for the Consultants and Registrars to order (and not share) expensive wines apparently then split the bill evenly with other NHS staff on much lower salaries. I was amazed and how insensitive they were and usually subsidised the nursing assistants and domestic staff costs.

exactly!!!

DD had several family members invite themselves over for the weekend. Along with providing food for them for two days they all went to a newly opened bar/restaurant. The family decided to use one bar tab for all of them which DD paid. She’s still waiting fir the rest of the family to reimburse her. It’s caused no end of bad feeling.

I recently met up with an old schoolfriend. She told me that she regularly sees one of my first boyfriends as she worked with his wife. Apparently they have this bizarre arrangement when she and her husband go out with them for a meal.

The bill for 4 gets split down the middle. Then my old boyfriend and his wife split it again so they both pay for their half separately!! Thank God I didn’t marry him. What a cheapskate. 😝

My friend is a waitress and said people often ask for a bill for food and separate one for drink. That makes it easier for the non drinkers

Last time I went to a fancy restaurant was mum's 70th (11 years this year!) and it was a major bunfight, set her back quite abit as she invited extended family. As being brought up on a pittance, we NEVER wasted food and the amount these family members wasted........ Going back for 2nd's then leaving half on their plate! Dad's 70th wasn't as generous, we all went to McDonald's! Same family members, I think there was about 30 of us walking into the Rhyl branch. (That was when you paid&display on seafront parking and on back of ticket was money off at McDonald's! He and mum went weekly for several months to build up the discounts.) Dad, much tighter, likes a bargain! A few years earlier, we scattered his parents ashes (another big occasion) his brother suggested the whole family (same big mob) go to the restaurant a mile away for a good feed, we ALL for that, until dad realised he would have to pay for his children/grandchildren (our share was 19 of us!). We never got the meal, the others did, Dad said HE wasn't paying!! In the end, we went to McDonald's, mum paid, dad said he'd do without! (He's a scrooge!!)

These days I usually eat out with my son and his partner and we all take it in turns to pay.
Occasionally, I'll meet up with a few friends and we'll usually go somewhere cheap like Wetherspoons and we all pay for our own food/drinks.
In the past, especially if eating out with work colleagues, I always insisted on paying my own bill because I was usually the designated driver and only ever had a small main meal, never a starter or dessert, whilst others would have all 3 courses and alcohol. Plus, I was the lowest paid of the whole group, so couldn't see why I should be expected to subsidise their shares of the bill.

Pascal30 a very familiar situation. It's OK for the Consultants and Registrars to order (and not share) expensive wines apparently then split the bill evenly with other NHS staff on much lower salaries. I was amazed and how insensitive they were and usually subsidised the nursing assistants and domestic staff costs.