Intrusive questions

🤣🤣 Elegran

If you dont like the subject of a thread and consider it intrusive you dont have to post on it. I assumed the one about Coutts was tongue in cheek. Silly me!

If some random asks me an impertinent personal question in real life they are likely to get a rather terse reply. I have a selection of excellent conversation stoppers.

I wouldn’t dream of telling you my banking details but I’m quite happy to talk about hair, frocks and shoes .

If I don’t want to answer a question then I ignore it, but I am sometimes surprised by how much personal info some people are willing to share online, and not just on Gransnet.

My pocket-sized, trusting, unchipped, un-neutered, pedigree dog wears my tiara for walkies with the nice volunteer dog-walker. Come to think of it, they haven't come back yet from the walk they set out on last Friday week, and she never told me her address or phone number! That's OK - she has a key to let the pooch into the house if I am not home.

My tiara is kept in the bank.

They can be fun, but I think we do need to be in the habit of asking ourselves why some questions have been asked.

We would be instantly suspicious if, for instance, someone posted that they would love to take a trusting, unchipped, un-neutered, pedigree dog out for walks in your area while its owner is at work, please answer privately to a PO box, but if they missed out the details about what would make such a dog so attractive to them, and just offered the service, with the contact number an equally anonymous GN username, would you be as likely to believe that they had an ulterior motive and were likely to vanish with your pet?

People who are collecting information on whose house is ripe for burglary are not going to ask a straight question about what security you have, and whether you keep your tiara in the safe or on the dressing table.. They find out by asking other questions.

Foxygloves

Not a TAAT but about threads (some) in general.
OK tell me I can swerve them (and I do) but why this compulsion to ask intrusive questions or share personal information with total strangers? We have had threads on “shredding toilet paper”, “do you remember your first time”, how many people here bank with Coutts, “spending and saving habits, “how often do you shower/bathe”, “do you sit or crouch on public toilet seats” (yes, really) and “how often do you wash your hair” ?
On the basis that GN chatting is a bit like coffee with friends, would these topics really feature in your conversation?
Tell me to ignore them by all means. I fail to see why my, or anybody’s personal habits should be of any interest to anybody

Some people are less inhibited than others - which is neither a good or bad thing... it's just the way we are.

A person might ask, "how often do you shower" out of idle curiosity - or they might be showering three times a day and think they're possibly overdoing it and ask others how often they shower.

They are personal questions but hardly intrusive - there's no compulsion to answer and, even if you do, no-one knows who you are anyway.

Perhaps people's personal habits make them feel they're not quite 'normal' - and they think like that because they don't know how other people act... so they ask - that could be one of the reasons why such habits are of interest?

And as long as no one is being salacious or too probing - I really don't see why you're concerned about a matter which is obviously of no interest to you but, equally obviously, interests others!

Yes!

It's good to be naughty sometimes

Have I just broken the rules then?

Mizuna

What does TAAT mean? Google hasn't helped.

Thread about another thread, forbidden!

I think it's good that we can talk about things on here that we might find difficult face to face.
The ones I am careful of are those asking about finance, for instance. Someone posted, ages ago, about what jewellery we owned, and another one about shares. I know that our precise locations are secret, but there are some clever people out there who can find out anything they want to know, if the target seems worth it.(I mean in the outside world, not on GN). Also, mentioning forthcoming holidays is dodgy, imho. I only ever mention holidays afterwards.
I know I am a bit paranoid, but it pays to be cautious I think.

I personally would never answer questions like ‘how many times do you go to the toilet’ as I’m pretty sure many of these threads are started by trolls - but I started out on MN & posted on there for years, it was ( & probably still is ) rife with trolls so I’m a bit more sceptical.
But questions about washing hair are pretty harmless imo.

TAAT = thread about a thread.

Desperate for attention?
Well anyone who starts a thread on here wants attention surely? doesn’t matter what the subjects about they clearly want to talk to someone. I’ve seen posters start 2 or 3 threads a day & some people seem to spend an awful lot of time on here - maybe they’re just really lonely?

Aw, thanks very much for that Ash. The best Google could offer me was Two At A Time, for knitting.

I think that sometimes people just like to tell their own story - and, having done that aren't very interested in what anyone else says!

Mizuna: I'm guessing that TAAT = a thread about a thread
but I'm not certain.

A bit harsh eazybee? I wouldn’t describe any GN’s as desperate for attention.

Trivial questions are posted by people desperate for some attention.

Now that is nasty. Some people are very lonely and just want to “chat”. Leave people be and live and let live.

Why worry? It’s open to all and why is “how often do you wash your hair” intrusive? As for the “do you remember the first time” it wasn’t what I thought it was and just don’t take part or read if you don’t like the tone/subject of the thread.

Trivial questions are posted by people desperate for some attention.

No-one has to answer.

Sago

It’s down to personal choice, I have started threads for example “ the strange things we do” I confessed to sleeping with a handkerchief and pulling very odd faces whilst applying mascara.
I think the above is fun and not intrusive.
The “first time” thread, I could never read or contribute, it’s far too personal but if others want to share such information it’s fine.
Threads re personal hygiene etc are usually about normalising behaviour and that’s fine too.
I agree with the OP though that these are questions I would never dream of asking a friend.

I missed your thread Sago but it does sound fun.
Many other much less so tho! I don’t take part in any personal or intrusive question threads and wonder why anyone does tbh.
I wouldn’t ask sisters or friends some of the questions that pop up on some threads, way TMI.

There is more to GN or any forum than those questions Hollysteers so a bit rude to say that to another poster.

What does TAAT mean? Google hasn't helped.

Galaxy

Some of the personal ones eg bowel habits are trolls so it is worth being a little cautious.

Good point, Galaxy

Some threads have been started by new posters which are strange, to say the least, ask personal questions and kind, well-meaning posters try to be helpful and give away all kinds of personal information.

I didn't mind the one about hair washing as I'm always up for suggestions of what to do with unruly hair 👩

This post has been withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

I suppose we think it would be a nice, interesting topic to discuss. I don't mind any of them and don't post if I don't want to. I have to confess (and this is my problem not the posters') that so many 'hair' threads are a bit much for me as I have alopecia - no hair. There were so many threads in lockdown about people not being able to get to hairdressers. I used to think 'lucky you'. I did post on them sometimes but it's not nice to make the OP feel bad about their thread. Most women have hair and it's natural to discuss it. You can't worry about who might not have this, that or the other or nobody would ever post.