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Everyday Ageism

Patronising comments about mature love

(10 Posts)
PetitFromage Tue 28-Jul-26 12:06:08

I am 67, was widowed six years ago after a 33 year marriage, utterly devastated, but very lucky to find love again two years ago. I and my 'boyfriend' ar very much in love, hold hands etc. But I am really sick of random remarks by strangers such as 'there's hope for us yet' - from a student, so sort of ok, to 'I hope I'm so in love at your age' - not from a student!

It's annoying and patronising. Why shouldn't older people be in love?

Doodledog Tue 28-Jul-26 12:12:20

No reason at all. I hope you and your partner are very happy together.

Sometimes people just don’t know what to say, and sometimes young people can’t imagine being older - remember we were once young, but they have never been our age 😀. Ignore the lot of them, and enjoy your love. 🥰

MT62 Tue 28-Jul-26 12:12:57

You keep holding on to your partners hand- they just sound jealous!

Harris27 Tue 28-Jul-26 12:15:13

I hold hands with my husband just in case I fall! 😃seriously though take no notice love is love and enjoy it! Be happy!

JamesandJon33 Tue 28-Jul-26 12:20:24

Very happy for you. DH and I have been married over 60 years, together 65. We still hold hands. Ignore the unintelligent, the jealous and the just plain ignorant. Enjoy and celebrate what you have. Good luck.

Magenta8 Tue 28-Jul-26 12:27:31

My MIL found love again after nearly ten years of widowhood. She was in her late 70s. There surely is no age limit. It was lovely that they found each other as they were very happy. I wish the same for you and your partner.

faringdon59 Tue 28-Jul-26 12:34:12

Society in general doesn't like the idea of older people being in love and they certainly don't like the idea of older people having sexual relationships!
It's all part of ageism I'm afraid.
This morning I've been for an annual review at my surgery and lost count of the times the nurse called me 'lovely' or said 'bless you'.
Maybe I should have blessed her when she took my blood pressure and then again for getting my blood sample at the first attempt.
I'm 71 and was working in the NHS until last year. Can't stand the use of these patronisations. Diversity is great and to be embraced, but it doesn't seem to be applied to older people.

Marg75 Tue 28-Jul-26 12:48:10

Slightly off topic, I love Hilary Boyd's books about love in the over 60s, they're really wonderful.

Gwyllt Tue 28-Jul-26 12:57:21

Jealousy is ugly whatever form it takes. Be happy !!

ginny Tue 28-Jul-26 13:01:58

I can’t actually see what you are objecting to PetiFromage. They seem perfectly nice comments to me.
I very pleased for you.