Feeing very down, advice needed

Don't think about whether or not you can forgive the family Hildagard, try not to think about them at all and put your time and energy into doing all you can to support your DH while he recovers, and your loving and supportive DD's.

Those are the ones who matter .

Sorry to hear this Hildagard hugs and kind thoughts from me and all other gns take care look after yourself

Hildagard, best wishes - and you can try to rise above it all (in your heart and mind) so it doesn't get to you quite as much.

It’s another day and the sun is just coming out, I’m feeling a little less glum today. I just can’t forgive the family, especially, as they believe in the forgiveness of sins.
But, today I will put on my Eleanor Rigby face and persevere.
Thanks for all advice it helps to know I’m not alone.

I have little in common with my siblings, so when we get together I always find it painful and exhausting. The conversations are stunted/very limited, our beliefs and views are at odds - even childhood memories are very different and disputed. It's a huge effort with no reward.

One likes to believe we had an idyllic childhood, even saying my memories are wrong, another recalls only the abuse - and I'm somewhere in the middle, having found it tough.

Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth keeping in touch, now that our parents are gone. I'm really much closer to a couple of good friends and they seem more like 'family' to me.

I don't believe that blood is thicker than water. So I may get to be the 'dismissive and hurtful' relative but I'll probably cut contact for a good reason - my own peace of mind.

Harris27

I’ve had a bit of a shock with a close member of my family we’re speaking but a lot has changed. I honestly feel I’m looking at a stranger now not a member of my family I’ve known for 60 years.

As have I. Things were said to me by my brother that cannot be unsaid. He may feel better for having said what he did about me, and especially about my DH, but it has left me looking back over everything and wondering, those times I thought were good, happy times obviously were not as far as he is concerned.

So sorry you are feeling this way. The ‘fracture’ can be mended, believe me. It may take time, but it will. The main thing is to look after your health and that of your DH. You are lucky you have your DDs. Good luck and I do hope your DH gets better soon

I'm really sorry to hear this. I have been in a similar situation and offer this advice very sincerely:

Go with the feelings- have a good rage, cry, howl.

Seek out your true friends and offload to them.

If that isn't possible write it all down. Keep a feelings journal you can look back on every day. Write things down as often as you wish.

Get out in the fresh air- just a short walk can sometimes bring some relief.

Indulge yourself a little- give yourself some small treats to take your mind off things.

Don't waste your energy on people who aren't worth it.

If none of the above work go see your GP.

Hope this helped.

I just feel abused and abandoned 🙁

So sorry you feel so down you do seem to be having a difficult time. Your DH is getting treatment a will make a recovery he is being looked after. Concentrate on the people who matter and the ones who care at the present time.
It is often at difficult times in our lives that we do find out who really matters. So while you worry about your DH be assured he will be ok. Look after yourself and those who care but dismiss those that don’t💐.

Hithere

Hard times is when you discover who is truly on your side

I think that can be very true Hithere

I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. The important people are you, your DH and DD. It’s time to close ranks and look after yourselves in the best way possible.
There is a quote from Maya Angelou ‘ When people show you who they really are, believe them’.
It is hard not to dwell on situations where you’ve been ostracised by family or long standing friends.
I hope your DH soon recovers.

I’ve had a bit of a shock with a close member of my family we’re speaking but a lot has changed. I honestly feel I’m looking at a stranger now not a member of my family I’ve known for 60 years.

Hard times is when you discover who is truly on your side

Sometimes we all just need to have a moan, let off a bit of steam. I do it all the time on here! Hope your DH continues with his recovery

So sorry to hear that. Sounds like you could really do with their support too. Is there a way through the problems at all?