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Speak out or stay quiet?

(85 Posts)
Oldnproud Thu 17-Aug-23 15:26:30

Imagine that a family you know very well was planning to move house, and after a long time searching, founds a 30 -40 year old property that suited them, offered the asking price and it was accepted. Then well past halfway through the process, you found out by pure chance that bad things have happened there in the past (domestic violence) which led to a suicide. Not inside, but in the garden.

Would you tell them what you had learned or not?

I chose not to say anything, but will add more later.

Tamayra Fri 18-Aug-23 14:24:23

I do believe in both ghosts & poltergeists having had direct experience of both.
I’ve cleared several properties of these entities. Most ‘ghosts’ are lost Souls who need some help to get to a lighter sphere. Show compassion not fear& ask the Angelic realms to help them move on

DanniRae Fri 18-Aug-23 14:11:39

If you have to declare anything untoward when buying a property I am willing to bet that your friends already know and just aren't saying anything!

Awesomegranny Fri 18-Aug-23 13:16:15

Best to let the past remain in the past.

Nannashirlz Fri 18-Aug-23 13:13:07

Nannashirlz

I would have thought that they would have already known. When I was moving I checked out everything about the area etc

Years ago living in a military flat over in Germany I said to my husband ahh one of the kids must be up just saw them go past door he went and looked both still a sleep. It happened a few times in the years we were there after talking to one of the locals who had lived there all their life we got chatting about ghosts etc and she was saying our homes were built on a old nuns home and many of the other families had said they had seen something didn’t do anything just walked through the corridor.

Romola Fri 18-Aug-23 13:03:04

Good advice from Delila.
The "feel" of a house can change. A house can get tired when its occupants get old and sad, not keeping it up too well.
But if there has been a happy family living there recently, the house in good order both structurally and decoratively, that must produce a good atmosphere.

Nannashirlz Fri 18-Aug-23 13:01:25

I would have thought that they would have already known. When I was moving I checked out everything about the area etc

jocork Fri 18-Aug-23 12:52:25

If they have already heard noises in the night they must have moved in already!

Paperbackwriter Fri 18-Aug-23 12:52:21

I'd stay quiet I think. Most houses have had someone die or something unhappy happen in them over the years.

They are lucky they don't live on Coronation Street - I'm pretty sure there isn't a house on that street that hasn't been either home to a murderer or the scene of a killing!

Callistemon21 Fri 18-Aug-23 12:51:29

No-one lived in our house before us but I'm sure the ground it was built on has a rich history. The Romans probably trekked across what is now our garden.

BlueBelle Fri 18-Aug-23 12:48:23

The thing is, 99% of us have no IDEA what has happened in their homes prior to them being there

A lot of us living in old houses or even not so old but houses that others have lived in will be living with bad and good happenings, rows, fights, deaths, both natural murders and suicides even those living in new builds have no idea who was killed, injured, murdered, or died on the ground their house was built on so it’s absolutely pointless to be stressing over it
Or worse still consider stressing others about it

Oldnproud Fri 18-Aug-23 12:44:28

Oldnproud

Germanshepherdsmum

I didn’t get the impression they have exchanged contracts yet, in which case they can pull out with no penalty other than their own wasted costs.

Sorry if I wasn't clear, but the exchange and moving in have taken place, so there is no going back now.

So you can imagine how I felt yesterday when told 'I think we have a ghost'!

Delila Fri 18-Aug-23 12:44:02

Don’t mention it, and forget it yourself, it’s in the past. It has no relevance to the present, or the future.
Hopefully the family will move in and start filling it with their own happy vibes.

Oldnproud Fri 18-Aug-23 12:42:13

Germanshepherdsmum

I didn’t get the impression they have exchanged contracts yet, in which case they can pull out with no penalty other than their own wasted costs.

Sorry if I wasn't clear, but the exchange and moving in have taken place, so there is no going back now.

fluttERBY123 Fri 18-Aug-23 12:41:54

There is no point in telling them now that you knew something before they moved in. It would serve only to annoy them. What you could do is point them in direction of somewhere they might get help with the problem they seem to have now. Lots of suggestions about this from the grans above.

Cossy Fri 18-Aug-23 12:41:29

Nope Wouldn’t mention it, the neighbours are bound to tell them anyhow and tbh what different does it make ??

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 18-Aug-23 12:32:30

I didn’t get the impression they have exchanged contracts yet, in which case they can pull out with no penalty other than their own wasted costs.

Philippa111 Fri 18-Aug-23 12:25:28

If they can get out of the buying contract with no penalties I might tell them otherwise I wouldn’t because what can they do now? Older houses have histories of all kinds. I doubt there is an older property where there is no negative history of some sort.

Bella23 Fri 18-Aug-23 12:21:55

I would tell them. We have a property in our village that has changed hands at least 5 times in 10 years. A chap did commit suicide in it and it had affected everyone who has lived there.
The last couple just before Easter lasted two weeks. Someone refused to go back in it on New Years Eve and stayed with neighbours until the family could come for them.
I don't believe in ghosts but I do think if you know something awful has happened you can gradually build it up in your mind. They joked with me about it but during Covid their imagination ran riot . I think like others if you live in an old house people are bound to have died in it and it does really depend on your own take on things. Better to give back word if you feel it will affect you, than find out later.Better to be told as well.

sazz1 Fri 18-Aug-23 12:11:24

Most houses of that age and older have had someone die there. A lot of people want to die at home with their family.
As for houses being haunted the two times I considered it had logical explanations. One was a leak from the tank in the loft dripping slowly onto a carrier bag in my wardrobe. The other was a rat in my kitchen cupboard unfortunately, and he ate a whole packet of cereal before we caught him.

Oldnproud Fri 18-Aug-23 12:05:50

greenlady102

Oldnproud

Theexwife

Now that has happened and if they believe in ghosts would they be annoyed with you that you hadn’t said before they bought it?

I honestly don't know. Not that they believed in ghosts before this, but the one who told me what happened in the night was very shaken, while the other slept through it, as did the other occupants of the house.

By the way, they did get out of bed to investigate it, thinking that their house guests were responsible for the noises, but they were all fast asleep and there was no sign of any would-be intruders outside.

The only person who could drop me in it is the one who told me what had happened in the house /garden, but as it was a very unusual and random series of events that led to my meeting and finding this out from this previously total stranger, I am hopeful that it will never be suspected that I knew.

so one person ( a stranger) told you? Do you have any corroboration?

The person who told me has lived extremely close to the house almost since it was first built.
I only have their word for it, but I have no reason to disbelieve them.

M0nica Fri 18-Aug-23 12:01:56

Less said the better. If they find out, do not admit you ever knew.

We are confirmed old house dwellers. our current home is 550 years old, previous houses have been 100 years old or more. Who knows what terrible things have happened in the past in these houses we have lived in, especially our current home with its very long past. We do not believe in ghosts, and if there are any here they have kept very quiet.

Dee1012 Fri 18-Aug-23 11:56:36

A friend of a work colleague bought a property in my home town which had been the scene of a well known murder - they lived there quite happily I believe although several people who visited would talk of feeling unsettled.
I do wonder though if that feeling was simply due to the notoriety of the case.

Beautyandthebeast Fri 18-Aug-23 11:48:57

I would keep that to yourself x

ReggieLouise Fri 18-Aug-23 11:48:11

I’ve heard burning sage can help ‘cleanse’ a house, or remove bad energy - something like that. Could be an option if they’re not religious.

25Avalon Fri 18-Aug-23 11:47:58

I think some people are more prone to pick up what I would call unhappy vibes than others. My mil moved to a house which fil spent a lot of money and time having done up to a high standard. Mil however was very unhappy there and one room was very cold. When she went into this room she felt very depressed and wanted to cry. She discovered from a neighbour a person who lived there had committed suicide.It got so bad they sold the house and moved out.

I think I would wait and see what if anything happens next in this case. It could have been an attempted burglary. If there are other occurrences you could ask the family if they have made any inquiries as to past history of the house as a starting point. If you found out others must know.